Another Ordinary Day as a State Alchemist
by xMadHatterx
Summary: Roy annoys Ed... all the time. Being a State Alchemist is great, but the homunculi are quite annoying and sometimes stupid... RoyEd, shounenai.yaoi I'm not updating this anymore.
1. Al, Why are you Taking a Shower?

**Al, Why are You Taking a Shower?**

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** Okay, this is going to sound really strange, but I had this dream like a week ago and Al (armor) was in my shower… sometimes I question my sanity… I just wonder how he fit in there…_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist it belongs to the people who made it, who isn't me.**

Ed walks into his little "apartment" and notices that his shower's running. He walks very cautiously over to his bathroom to see why his shower was running. He opens up the door to the bathroom quietly and looks to see who was in his shower. When he looked into the shower, all he heard was, "NII-SAN!" and got a slap in the face.

Ed got knocked unconscious by the slap, but only for a few minutes. That person, who he assumed was Al by now, had left the bathroom. Ed walked out of the bathroom to see Al in a bath towel. "Al, why were you taking a shower? That will rust you up and wash off your blood seal!"

"I know nii-san, but I figured a way to make sure that the blood seal doesn't wash off!" Al said quite proud of himself.

"Al what did you do to protect your blood seal?" said a thoroughly annoyed Ed.

"I took plastic wrap and taped it over the blood seal so it wouldn't wash off!" said Al who was still very proud of himself.

"Al, in case you haven't noticed, it's the 1910's and no one has invented plastic wrap or tape yet."

"Oh, well then I dunno where I found it but I seem to be fine, right?" Al said timidly.

Then Ed said, "Let me fix you, you got rusted while we were talking because it seems like you didn't do anything about the rusting problem." Ed then fixes Al with alchemy and says, "Also, Al, never do that again, you scared me half to death. I thought Roy was here thinking that this was his room."

"Did Roy ever do that before, nii-san?" Al asked curiously.

"Yes…"

Then there was a long pause.

"Well, I'm going to get dressed, please leave for a minute, nii-san," Al asked politely.

"Why do I have to leave? I mean you are my brother, and you have nothing to offend me being a suit of armor!"

"Oh, yeah, that's right…" Long pause… "Could you at least turn around?"

Ed grumbled, "Fine," and turned around while Al was putting his loincloth on.

"You can turn around, nii-san," Al said.

"Just promise me you'll never do that again. I don't want to have an incident like the time Roy mistook my room for his room and used my shower…" Ed shivers. "It was really scary."

Al looked a little disgusted, "Nii-san, what happened?"

"I'll tell you another day. It's too soon to tell the story…"

Long pause…

"OK. I promise not to do that again. Anyway, I'm not sure if I'll be able to find plastic wrap and tape again. Getting rusted up wasn't fun either…" Al finally said.

All of a sudden, Roy bursts into the room, looks around, notices Ed and Al, and backs away slowly out the door.

"Okay… that was weird," Al said.

"Yeah it was. At least he didn't try to use my shower this time…"

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** I'll tell you soon what happened when Roy used his shower… I just hope that you'll like my first fanfic ever… you can review this if you wish! I look forward to it!_


	2. Roy, What are you Doing Here?

**Roy, What are you Doing Here?**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Ok, this is a continuation from the previous chapter, it's a little yaoi-ish I guess… just to warn you…_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist…**

**One week after the Al shower incident**

"Hey nii-san, it's been a week since you mentioned the Roy thing. Could you tell me what happened?" Al asked.

Ed shuddered. "I guess… but we'll have to go through a flashback."

"Okay, lets start that flashback!"

**Flashback to about two weeks ago**

_"Boy, I'm tired, I can't wait to get home and fall asleep,"_ Ed thought to himself as he was making his way back to his apartment after a long day of work.

Ed walks into his apartment. "Hey what's that noise? Is someone taking a shower in my house?"

Ed then bursts into his bathroom with his arm transmuted into a blade getting ready to stab the weirdo who decided to use his shower. He quickly opens up the curtain to see Roy in there. "ARGH! I'M BLIND!"

Roy just stood there staring at Ed twitching on the ground, then continued with his shower.

After about half an hour, Ed finally got over his seizure. He got up and went into his living room to see Roy sitting there in his towel reading a book and eating some Pocky that was found in Ed's snack cabinet. Ed just stood there wondering what was going on because he didn't remember ever asking Roy to come to his house to take a shower and eat his Pocky.

Roy finally noticed that Ed was staring at him. "Hey, Fullmetal! What are you doing in my apartment?"

"Your apartment? This is my apartment! Why are you eating my Pocky?"

Roy looked utterly confused. "Your apartment? I thought it was mine. Oh, well… here you can have your Pocky back." Roy handed Edward a half eaten box of Pocky.

Ed grumbled, "Thanks… Erm, you can stay here a little bit if you want, just get some clothes on!"

"Oh yeah, I was wondering why all of my clothes consisted of red jackets, black shirts, leather pants, and were way too small for me… so I just sat here in a towel hoping that the unknown clothes would disappear and my normal clothes would appear. Since I found out that this is our room, I know my clothes won't appear. Excuse me while I get my clothes from my room." Roy gets up to leave.

"No, wait! Your going to blind people by walking out with a towel. Let me get your clothes for you."

Roy shrugs and sits back down. "Okay, I'll just sit here and wait. Could I have the rest of that Pocky?"

"Fine." Ed throws the Pocky at Roy's head.

While Roy was eating the rest of Ed's Pocky, Ed was searching for an outfit for Roy. _"Wow, how can Roy find anything in this mess?"_ Ed thought while picking through the dump that was called Roy's apartment.

All of a sudden, Ed found a skimpy red dress that was his size. "AHH! There's a tag that says 'To: Ed' on it!" He quickly threw it across the room thoroughly disgusted. After that Ed quickly collected an outfit and left.

Then Ed got an idea as he was walking down the hall. "Maybe, I could give the Colonel the dress instead of his normal clothes…" Ed ran back to Roy's room, grabbed the dress, and stuffed it in the bag with the rest of Roy's clothes.

Ed walked into his room and handed Roy the dress. "Wow, Ed, I didn't think you felt that way about me. But this is the dress that I intended to give to you."

Ed runs out of the room screaming, "ROY'S GAY!"

Roy looked puzzled, shrugged, and said, "Oh well, so much for the surprise." He then notices his normal clothes on the floor and puts them on.

After Ed calmed down, he walked back into his room hoping that it was all a dream. He then saw the dress on the ground. _"Oh crap, it wasn't a dream,"_ Ed thought to himself.

"Oh, hey Fullmetal! Are you over your episode?"

Ed was dazed wondering what was going on, "Yeah, I guess. Why do you want to give me that dress?"

"Because I thought you'd look cute in it."

"…" Ed then passed out.

He then woke up, saw Roy and then just sat there staring at him. Roy had helped himself to another box of Pocky.

"Will you stop eating my Pocky?"

"Oh, sorry. Erm… do you want me to leave now?"

"Yeah, sure. You can come back another day if you want to. Just tell me that your coming over before you do."

"Okay, I'll send you a note to you when I want to come over. When I come over, you should wear that cute dress!"

"Don't count on it." Then he thought to himself, _"Too bad it wouldn't fit Winry, I would've given it to her… why does she have to be taller than me?"_

"Well you should try on that dress! I think it'll look nice on you!" Roy said quite cheerfully.

"Leave. Now. I don't want to continue this conversation." Ed was annoyed and a little disgusted at the same time.

Roy was disappointed. "Fine. Well, see you tomorrow at work…"

"Bye."

**End Flashback**

By now Al just stood there really disgusted. "You invited him to come over again?"

"Yeah, I thought that it was kind of nice that he gave me a gift… Wait! What am I saying?"

"Nii-san, lets just change the subject. I also never ever want to see you in that dress. It'll scar me for life."

"Fine with me. I don't intend wearing it." Ed walks over to his snack cabinet to get some food. "Roy ate all of my Pocky! When he comes over again, I'm going to tell him to buy me more Pocky!"

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: So will Ed ever wear that dress for Roy? Even I don't know…

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**Now to the reviewer!**

**Crazyanimefreak15:** Congratulations! You are my first reviewer ever! You should feel special!

Well that's all for now!


	3. Taisa isn't doing his Paperwork Part 1

**What Taisa does Instead of his Paperwork (Part 1)**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Ok I got the idea for this from an episode of Fullmetal Alchemist, then made it completely messed up…_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!**

"Ok, Havoc, Breda, Fury, and Farman. I want you four to keep an eye on the Colonel to make sure he does his paperwork. I want you guys to watch him for the next four days. After each day, report back to me to tell me if he was slacking off from his paperwork," said Furher Bradley.

"Yes, sir!" the four of them said in unison while saluting. Then they headed to Roy's office.

**Day One**

"Hmm… It seems like he's talking to someone, but I can't quite see who it is… oh, it's Fullmetal, no wonder I couldn't see him," Havoc said wile taking notes.

Then the four of them were listening into the conversation to see if it was work-related.

"You owe me Pocky, Roy!"

"Awww, why? Doesn't the dress make up for the Pocky?"

"Dress? What does he mean by dress? Maybe it was for Winry," Fury said as he was scribbling some more notes.

"I'm telling you for the last time! The dress doesn't make up for my Pocky! I'm never going to wear it!"

"I really wanted you to wear that dress! I think you'll look cute!"

"Ok, either Roy's gay, or I heard something wrong because I'm tired. I think that's enough for today. We'll tell the Furher that Roy did no paperwork and then talked to Fullmetal instead," Farman said.

Roy turns around tinking he heard something. "What is it?" Ed asked.

"I dunno, but I think I heard something outside the door listening to your conversation."

The four of them quickly ran for it before Roy got to the door to check.

"Whew, that was a close one, well see you guys tomorrow…" Breda said as they departed.

**Day Two**

"Okay, lets make sure the colonel doesn't hear us this time," Fury said. "It looks like Fullmetal is there again."

"Finally! You gave me my Pocky back! Don't eat my Pocky again. My Pocky…" Ed strokes the box of Pocky as if it was his pet.

"Ok, Ed, stop stroking the box, you're scaring me… Anyway, I thought I could come over your apartment in a week."

"Okay, fine with me. Just don't give me another dress. And, don't' use my shower."

"Use his shower? What is the colonel doing at Ed's house in his shower? Also, why did he give Ed a dress?" Farman said confused and disgusted visioning a perverted picture of Ed in a dress in his head.

"You know the Colonel is really starting to scare me. I thought he was straight since he wants all women in the military to wear mini-skirts… maybe it's a cover-up…" Havoc said while writing stuff down.

"Fullmetal, you want me to bring any food or stuff to your apartment when I come over?"

"Yeah, bring your own Pocky and some extra for me, your not going to eat any of mine."

"They like to talk about Pocky a lot don't they?" Farman asked while scribbling notes.

Roy's ears perk up. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Someone's outside the door again." Roy quickly rus to his door to see Havoc, Farman, Fury, and Breda running away. "I DON'T WANT TO CATCH YOU LISTENING INTO MY CONVERSATIONS EVER AGAIN! IF I SEE YOU AGAIN, I'LL TORCH YOU!"

"Well, see you later Colonel, I have some work to do…" Ed said as he was leaving.

"Yeah, I'll see you at my office tomorrow, right?"

"Sure…"

_To be continued…_

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: BUM BUM BUM! What will happen next? I'm not even sure, but I'm sure something messed up…

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**To the reviewers!**

**crazyanimefreak15:** AHHH! Don't fry my Edo! I like him un-fried thank you!


	4. Taisa isn't doing his Paperwork Part 2

**What Taisa does Instead of his Paperwork (Part 2)**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Ok this is the continuation of the previous one… duh…_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist... blah blah blah...**

**Day Three**

"Okay, Fullmetal is there, again. I wonder why the colonel would want Fullmetal in his office so much…" Farman said while taking notes.

"No! I'm never going to wear that dress! Your money went to waste." Ed was angry at Roy for asking him for the millionth time to wear the dress.

"What is with that dress? Why does the Colonel want Fullmetal to wear a dress so bad? We must investigate this matter further." Fury scribbled this as he was saying it.

"Hey, I'm hungry. Do you have any food around here, Roy?"

"Yeah, in that closet, I keep a secret stash of Pocky."

"Yay! Pocky!" Ed dives into the closet and starts eating Pocky.

"Don't eat that much, it'll make you sick… but you don't' hear me do you?"

Ed just ignored Roy and continued to eat Pocky to his heart's, or should I say stomach's, content.

He finally comes out of the closet groaning, "I feel sick…"

"I told you not to yeah that much but did you listen to me? No. AHHH! Don't do that! I just got the floor waxed! Ewww… After you're done, Fullmetal, you have to clean that up."

"I think Fullmetal likes Pocky too much. He just ate until he puked…" Havoc said while grimacing because he just saw Ed vomit all over Roy's floor.

Ed was scrubbing the floor until he noticed that Roy was walking towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"Oh, I think I heard someone, think I should torch them?" Roy had an evil look on his face.

Ed sighed, "No, just tell them to go away. You don't want more paperwork, do you?"

"No, I have enough paperwork as it is…" Roy opens the door to see no one there, but there was a piece of paper that was left behind saying, 'Oh no, the Colonel noticed us outside the door again. We have to run now.' "So that's why there were people outside my door for the past few days." Roy walks back into his office.

"What did you find?" Ed was still scrubbing the floor.

"Oh, nothing."

Ed finished scrubbing the floor. "Okay, well I'm done cleaning your floor, and I have work to do. See you tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, in my office, of course."

**Day Four**

"Good, it's the last day. Hopefully, we'll never have to do this again." Breda said.

"Hey, Roy, I got a surprise for you."

"What is it?"

"You have to guess." Ed had a huge smile on his face.

"Ummm… I dunno. I'm terrible at guessing games."

"I'll give you a clue. It's red."

"You didn't… Your wearing the dress?"

"Yup, under my clothes. You want to see?"

"Oh yes! Let me just close and lock the door before I see." Roy walks over to the door, closes it, and locks it. "I can't believe your actually wearing the dress! I didn't think you would!"

"Yeah, well, you were bugging me so much. I got annoyed and put the dress on for you. This is a one time thing, so enjoy it… wow, that sounded so wrong."

Roy laughs, "You right, that did sound wrong, but I will enjoy it! I'm so happy!"

Ed then takes off his normal clothes to reveal a skimpy red dress. Roy noticed Ed had drawn a symbol similar to the one on his jacket on the upper right corner of his dress. "I like that you drew a small Nicholas Flammel symbol on your dress."

"Thanks, I like it, and I thought you'd like it, too. I also have another surprise for you."

"OOO, what is it?"

Ed held out a bag that said 'Victoria's Secret' on it.

"Oh, you didn't…" Roy said wile taking the bag.

"Oh, yes I did. I got a nice skimpy dress like mine just for you."

"Oh! And it's blue, too! Now we match our normal clothes!"

Havoc, Farman, Breda, and Fury just sat there staring at eachother wondering what was going on. All four of them had perverted pictures in their heads of Ed and Roy in dresses. Havoc had fallen over from pure shock.

Roy and Ed heard a loud THUMP! outside. "Torch them," Ed simply said.

SNAP! BOOM! Part of the wall was blown out, and there Breda, Fury, Farman, and Havoc were sprawled out on the floor with close to third degree burns and rubble on them.

Just before this happened, Ed had run into Roy's closed with his normal clothes to change so that no on e could say that he was in a dress.

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING OUT THERE?"

The four of them were very frightened. "O-Orders from the F-Furher, s-sir."

"WHY WOUD THE FURHER WANT YOU TO KEEP AN EYE ON ME?" Roy was really angry at the fact that they heard about the whole dress thing.

"B-Because, you s-slacked off y-y-your p-paperwork."

"Oh, well, if you have orders to listen into my conversations again, make something up. Forget everything that you saw and/or heard. Don't mention anything to anyone either. That's an order."

"Y-Yes, s-sir!" They quickly ran away, wincing from the burns.

"Okay, I'm defiantly never going to talk about that stuff in your office again. Rumors will be spreading."

"Yeah, I know. Let's keep any discussions that are dress related in our apartment."

"Agreed. Well, I'm probably not going to see you tomorrow after what just happened." Ed sighed.

"I agree. Well, I'll defiantly see you in a few days at your apartment!"

"Yeah, see ya!"

"Bye!"

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Geez, that was a long one! Well this one just came up off the top of my head and I hope you really liked it. The next chapter will probably be when Roy visit's Ed's apartment. Al should show up in this story more… I'll try to fit him in the next chapter too…

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**Time for the reviewers!**

**crazyanimefreak15:** But he still got burned! That's mean!

**Spearette:** No! Don't turn my Edo into a waffle! Although, that would be kind of cool if they put Ed on Eggo (I don't own them) waffles… I would buy lots and lots of boxes of it!

**DarkButterfly3125**: O, fine be that way about the detail! I'm glad that you like the humor in it though!

**Mika1999:** talks evil penguin army to not attack me Don't worry I updated! I'm glad you think it's strange, I'm a strange person… oO


	5. When Roy Goes Over Ed's Apartment

**When Roy Goes Over Ed's Apartment**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Ok, if you don't know what wasabi is, it's closely related to horseradish, but it's a lot spicier. In Japan they really have wasabi eating contests…_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, it belongs to people that aren't me!**

Ed hears a knock at his door while he's doing last minute cleaning. "It's open!" Ed yelled. "Hello, Colonel."

"Hey, Fullmetal. Wow, you cleaned your place just for me?"

"Yeah, kind of. Also, it really needed to be cleaned. Did you bring any food?"

"Always thinking about food, aren't you? Well, after the Pocky incident a few days ago, I decided to not bring any today."

"Don't mention Pocky. I feel sick thinking about it. So what did you bring?" Ed asked, who was really hungry after all of the cleaning.

"I thought we could have a wasabi eating contest. So I brought some wasabi."

"I don't see any wasabi," Ed said while searching Roy.

"Oops, I left it in my apartment. Let me go get it." Roy was walking towards the door.

"No, let me go get it. You just make yourself comfortable until I come back." Roy shrugged and sat down while Ed left.

_"Muahahahaha… I'll grab the wasabi and his dress… then make a bet…"_ Ed thought as he got the wasabi out of the ice box and grabbed Roy's dress.

Ed walks back into the room to see Roy talking to Al. "Al, when did you get here?"

"Oh, hey, nii-san! I came while you were gone because I found this cat in the street." Al opens his breastplate to show a cat.

"Al, how many times do I have to tell you? I can't have a cat in the apartment. It's not allowed." Ed was angry at Al.

"You're so mean, nii-san! Could I at least keep him for the day?"

"Fine, but you have to be the judge for the wasabi eating contest."

"Yay! Okay, what are the rules?" Al asked.

"The rules are that you eat as many wasabis as you can until you can't stand the spiciness anymore. There'll be a glass of milk next to you. If you drink the milk, you lose," Roy explained.

"I hate milk. I want juice," Ed said. "Also, let's make this more interesting. Whoever loses has to go to work wearing a dress." Ed was waving the bag with the dress in it with an evil smile on his face.

"Where did you get that dress?" Al asked.

"Never you mind, Al. So what do you say, Roy?"

"I accept your wager." Roy hands Al a pen and paper. "Here, use this to keep score of how many wasabis we ate."

"Okay, is everyone ready?" Al asked.

Ed and Roy sat down with plates of wasabi in front of them. Then said in unison, "Yeah."

"Okay. Ready, Steady, GO!" Al waved a flag that appeared from no where.

Ed and Roy immediately started eating the wasabis. After about two wasabis each, their eyes were tearing.

"Getting too hot for you?" Ed asked Roy wile shoveling wasabis into his mouth.

"You wish, I'm not wearing that dress to work."

After about five wasabis each, Roy started showing weakness. Ed was still going strong, but he too didn't feel his greatest.

When Roy had eaten eight wasabis, he quickly grabbed his glass of milk. "Ha! I win! Mmph!" Ed then vomited.

"Well, Roy, it looks like you have to be a cross-dresser for a day." Al started laughing, then looked at Ed. "Nii-san, maybe you should go do that in the bathroom…"

Ed ran to the bathroom still vomiting. "I was almost sure I was going to win…" Roy trailed off because he then started choking on his milk that he was still drinking.

Ed then walked out of the bathroom looking pale, but felling a lot better. "Oh, yeah. Roy since you're the loser, you also have to clean that up." Ed pointed at the pool of wasabi sick.

"Ewww… could I at least have some rubber gloves?"

Al pulled out some rubber gloves from the same spot as the flag and handed them to Roy. "Here you go." Al also handed Roy a bucket of water, a towel, and a scrubbing brush.

Roy finished cleaning the floor when Ed said, "I can't wait to see you at work tomorrow!"

"Yeah, great… I guess I should leave and come up with a plan to get back at you…" Roy mumbled.

"What was that, Roy?" Ed asked even though he knew perfectly well what he said.

"Oh, nothing. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess…" Roy sighed and walked out the door.

Ed and Al were snickering while Roy was leaving. "I'm defiantly coming with you to work tomorrow to see Roy."

Then a loud "MEW!" that came from Al.

"Okay, Al, you have to put the cat back outside."

"Awww, come on, nii-san!"

"No, I don't want to be kicked out of my apartment."

"Fine…" Al sulked out the door.

_"I never want to eat wasabis again,"_ Ed thought to himself.

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Well, next you'll hear about Roy's wonderful day at work as a cross-dresser!_

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**Time for Reviewers!**

**crazyanimefreak15:** You have to give Roy his gloves back or he'll flash you in his dress! oO

**Mika1999:** Don't worry I update daily-weekly. Right now it'll be daily or close to daily because I have no life, but when the school year starts I will be updating at least weekly!


	6. Roy's Day at Work

**Roy's Day at Work**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Ok, the camera that I'm talking about in this is one of those Polaroid (who I dont' own) cameras. You know the kind that you take a picture and the picture comes out of the camera a few seconds later... well anyway, this is Roy's day at work wearing a dress! Enjoy!_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hagane No Renkinjutsushi (aka Fullmetal Alchemist)... blah blah blah...**

_"Oh, great. I'm going to have a wonderful day at work! Everyone's going to think I'm a cross-dresser,"_ Roy thought to himself while walking to work. He was in a dres due to the fact that he lost a bet in wasabi eating contest.

"Nice dress, Colonel," Havoc snickered while walking past him.

_"I'm so going to kill Fullmetal for this."_ Roy started thinking of a plan to get back at Ed. "_Maybe we can do another fight for out assessments and make a bet on that… but assessments aren't for another three months…"_

Roy hears two people in his office laughing. He opens up the door to see Ed sitting at his desk and Al standing nect to him. "What are you doing in my office? Fullmetal, get your feet off my desk."

Ed sighed, took his feet off his desk, looked from Roy to Al then burst out laughing. Al started laughing, too. "Colonel, how do you like the dress? Pbbt!" Ed said while stifling a laugh.

"I'm jst going to sit in my office for the rest of the day. Nobody's coming or leaving except for you two. Leave now."

Ed had an evil grin on his face. "Aww, but that would be no fun. Lucky for you, that camera over there just took your picture." There was a flash from the camera.

"Nii-san, where did you get that camera? Automatic cameras haven't been invented yet." Al started poking the camera because he's never seen one before.

"Stop poking that. I don't know where I got it, but somehow I knew how to use it… wow, that's strange…" Ed got confused wondering where he got the camera and how he knew how to use it. "Well, anyway, I'm going to copy this picture and post it all over the military building!"

"How are you going to copy the picture? Copy machines haven't been invented yet." Roy ate his words when a copy machine suddenly appeared in the room.

Ed pointed at the machine and said, "I'll use that, and somehow I know how to use that too…"

"Wow, nii-san, I knew you were smart, but I didn't know you knew how to use machines from the future…" Al was confused.

Ed started copying hundereds of pictures, then ran out of the door when the compy machine was done with copying. "Al, go make some tape magically appear like you did a few weeks ago."

Al makes some tape magically appear and hands it to Ed. "Here you go, nii-san. Let's go post there pictures by the Furher's office first!"

"I like the way you think, Al. See you later, Colonel!" Ed was giggling manically as he was leaving.

Roy was left all alone in his office. _"Great, with those two posting pictures all over the place, everyone in town will think I'm a cross-dresser."_

Riza walks into Roy's office, sees Roy, then says, "Did I walk in at a bad time, sir?"

"No, it's okay, I lost a bet. What did you come here for?"

Riza started looking around the room trying to not look at Roy. "I have some more paperwork for you. They need to be finished by tomorrow."

"Ugh, more paperwork?" Roy really didn't feel like doing paperwork, like always.

"Yes, well, you wouldn't have so much if you didn't blow that hole in the wall…"

"Oh, yeah, oops. Well, I guess I guess I should start that paperwork…"

Riza hands Roy a stack of papers, salutes, and leaves, laughing.

_"Wow, I must look really stupid if Riza left laughing."_ Roy then sat down, and signed his name on a few papers. After signing about five papers, he let his mind drift off to think about his revenge. _"Maybe we could play Twister, I always win in that game, but then again, Ed's so small, he can fit anywhere in any position…"_

Roy then walked to his window, forgetting he had the dress on. Then he saw some old lady look at his window, point at him, and screamed. Roy quickly closed the curtains before anyone else saw him.

_"I could kidnap Al and leave his head behind for the day, but I don't want to get arrested… I know, while Ed is sleeping, I could take his arm and leg and hide them. That's a perfect idea!"_ Roy starts writing his evil plan of revenge down so he wouldn't forget.

An hour later, Ed and Al walked in. "Hey, Colonel! You're now the laughing stock of the whole military!"

Roy grumbled, "Great…"

"Well, see you tomorrow!" Ed left, laughing along with Al.

_"I'll get him tonight…"_ Roy thought to himself.

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: So the next chapter will be Roy's plan being put into action! There might be some randomness from the homunculi too!_

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**Oh, the wonderful, crazy reviewers!**

**crazyanimefreak15:** Wow you're really insane... but that's ok!

**DarkButterfly3125:** Don't read my fan fic while your half awake ever again, you're mean when your half awake...


	7. Roy's Evil Plan to Get Back at Ed Part 1

**Roy's Evil Plan to Get Back at Ed (Part 1)**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Ok, this is a two part thing, so don't get mad at the cliffhanger, I'll update tomorrow, don't worry! I don't want any flames on the cliffhanger_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist... (cries)**

Roy was sitting outside of Ed's apartment, waiting for him to fall asleep. It was 2 AM and Ed was still awake. Roy then heard Al mumbling, "Nii-san, go to bed. You can read more later."

"Okay, let me just finish reading this page. "There was a few minutes silence, then a bed creaking. Roy then heard footsteps toward the bathroom and heard Ed brushing his teeth. Then he heard footsteps walking back to the main room, and creaking of a bed again. Then he saw that the lights were shut off.

_"Well, I think I should wait for about two hours so I know he's defiantly sound asleep,"_ Roy thought to himself.

After about an hour, Roy heard Ed snoring lightly._ "I hope no one walks past here, they're going to think I'm some gay pervert waiting to rape Ed."_ As soon as Roy thought that, Havoc walked past, half-asleep.

"Colonel, what are you doing sitting outside of Ed's room?" Havoc yawned.

"I'm waiting to get my revenge," Roy mumbled.

"Okay, you go do that. I'll just go back to my room." Havoc walked away not suspecting anything due to the fact he was half-asleep.

Roy sat there for another half hour when all of a sudden he thought to himself, _"I don't want to be too mean to Ed, I'll leave him a crutch so he can still go to work. Although, I'm not sure whether that's being nice or being mean… oh, well"_

Roy runs back to his apartment to find a crutch. _"Hmmm… I wonder where I got this…"_ Roy shrugged and ran back to sit outside of Ed's room. Ed was now snoring loudly.

_"Okay, I think it's a good time to get him."_ Roy quietly enters Ed's room, "_He looks so cute when he's sleeping… wait, that was really perverted, who cares? Ok, Roy, focus, you have to get Ed's automail arm and leg without him noticing…"_

Roy slowly pulls up Ed's right sleeve to reveal an automail arm. Al stirs behind Roy, scaring the crap out of him. _"I wish Al wasn't so noisy when he moved… Okay, just need to press this button and turn it slightly… There we go!"_

Roy had gotten Ed's arm off. Ed winced in pain, but immediately went back to normal. _"Wow, he must be really asleep… now onto the leg."_

The leg proved to harder to take off since Ed started kicking Roy. Roy stifled a yelp of extreme pain when Ed had kicked him in a sensitive area. Strangely, Ed was grinning while Roy was suffering, but still sound asleep.

Roy stayed in a fetal position on the floor for five minutes until he recovered. _"Okay, back to that leg."_ Roy then just quickly grabbed Ed's left leg and pulled it off before he could be kicked again.

Roy then quietly ran out of the room before anything else happened.

He then remembered that he forgot to leave the crutch there, and ran back into the room. Roy then place the crutch on the chairs. Then, Roy thought of writing a ransom note. He grabbed a pencil and paper from Ed's desk, and wrote a note, disguising his handwriting. Roy then left the note on the crutch, then left.

"_I'm tired… I'm never going to be able to wake up for work later, but it was worth it."_ Roy then hid the limbs in the abyss of his closet, then went to bed.

**Morning in Ed's Apartment**

"WHERE IS MY ARM AND LEG?"

"Nii-san, not so loud, you're going to wake up the neighbors and the rest of the town," Al said sleepily.

"AL, I CURRENTLY DON'T CARE ABOUT THE NEIGHBORS! I WANT MY ARM AND LEG BACK! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GO ANYWHERE?" Ed was enraged.

"Look, there's a crutch over there and a note." Al pointed at the chair.

Ed hops over to the hair to read the note. It said:

_I have taken your arm and leg in revenge. If you wish to have your limbs back, I suggest you come to work in your boxers._

"Wow, that's quite a demand, nii-san," Al said after reading the note over Ed's shoulder.

"Well, I narrowed the suspect down to two people, Roy and Envy," Ed said after a little thinking.

"Did someone say my name?" Envy popped into the room through the window. "Hey, Hagane No Chibi, where's your arm and leg?"

Ed then spazed at being called 'Fullmetal Pipsqueak' then fell over since he had only one leg to spaz on.

Envy laughed. "Well, whoever did this to you, I have to meet them. They must be really mad at you." Envy then jumped out the window onto a tree limb.

"Well, at least now I know who took my arm and leg. I just wonder how I'll get there."

"The thief left you with a crutch so that you aren't completely immobilized. Also, remember you have to go to work in your boxers to get your limbs back." Al started snickering.

"Just wonderful." Ed stripped down to his boxers, then left.

_To be continued... Bum Bum Bum!_

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: I hope you liked the chapter, but the next chapter will probably be better..._

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**To the insane reviewers!**

**crazyanimefreak15:** I don't know what makes me think that you're insane...

Me: (pokes Ed) Hagane No Chibi-san!

Ed: NANI! (What!)

Me: (Runs)

**Shadow Kitsune Kirby:** I'm so happy I made you laugh out loud! Your review made me happy until I started watching depressing anime music videos!


	8. Roy's Evil Plan to Get Back at Ed Part 2

**Roy's Evil Plan to Get Back at Ed (Part 2)**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: I'm sorry if I don't update until Saturday, but I'm actually grounded from the computer right now. I'm also going away for four days to marching band camp._

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did, Ed would be in his boxers all the time... muahahahahaha!**

_"Roy is going to be so dead when I'm done with him,"_ Ed thought while crutching down the hall. Then, Fury brushed Ed on the shoulder as they passed, making Ed fall over.

Fury starts bowing and apologizing, "I'm so sorry, sir, I didn't bean to make you fall over…" Fury looks at Ed. "Sir, why don't you have your arm, leg, or clothes?"

Ed just said one word, "Roy."

Fury understood, bowed again, and left.

Ed got to the door of Roy's office. Ed burst into the room seeing Roy cleaning the windows. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"

"Well, you see, when we did that wasabi eating contest, I intended to win. But then you had to come up with that bet because you knew that you could eat wasabis easily. I didn't know that you put wasabis in a lot of your food until Al told me after the contest. So, after being the laughing stock of the town, I wanted revenge. Then, I came up with the idea to steal your limbs. I thought of the boxer thing at last moment. By the way, I like your alchemy array boxers." Roy started laughing.

"YOU IDIOT! I WANT MY LIMBS BACK NOW!" Ed was really angry, but kind of happy that Roy liked his boxers covered in alchemy arrays.

"Nuh, uh! You can't have your limbs back until the end of the day. You'll just have to limp around the building for the rest of the day!" Roy had an evil grin on his face. He was enjoying this so much, especially since it was an excuse to see Ed in his boxers._ "Man, I'm dead,"_ Roy thought.

Ed started beating Roy with his crutch. "Hey! OW! You can't do that to me! OW! I'm a higher rank than you! OW!"

"I… don't… care!" Ed said while still beating Roy.

Riza then walked in, saw what was going on, and left without saying a word. Neither of them noticed.

Ed finally stopped beating Roy because Al had walked into the room. "Nii-san! What were you doing to the Colonel?"

"Venting my anger out on him…" Ed mumbled.

"You know, you could have gotten fired for doing that." Roy sat up, covered in bruises. "But I understand that you were very angry with me for taking your limbs." Roy then started laughing manically. "That's why I'm still not giving them back to you!"

Ed was about to start beating Roy again until Envy walked into the room disguised as Riza. "So, Hagane no Chibi-san, how's it like not having your limbs and being almost naked at work?" He said while transforming back to his normal self.

Ed was still really angry, and got even angrier when Envy commented about his height. He then started beating Envy instead. Roy and Al just stood there wile watching Ed beat Envy with his crutch yelling, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHORTY THAT HAS TO BE LOOKED THROUGH A MAGNIFYING GLASS TO ACTUALLY BE SEEN?"

Al finally decided that Ed had vented out enough anger and pulled him away from Envy. "Okay, nii-san, that's enough for one day. How about you just stay in the Colonel's office for today so that you don't have to move much."

"There's no way I'm keeping him in my office, unless he stops beating me," Roy said.

"Will you stop beating the Colonel?" Al asked Ed.

Ed sighed. "Fine…"

"Well, this isn't fun anymore, I'm leaving," Envy said while transforming back to Riza and then he left.

"Well, I'm going to go back to our apartment, okay?" Al told Ed.

"Okay, see you after work…" Ed told Al as he was leaving.

Roy then walked over to the door and closed it. "Now we're all alone." Roy smirked.

"Yeah, so?" Then Ed thought about how Roy had said 'Now we're all alone' and said, "Ew! You perv!" Ed dragged himself into a corner trying to hide form Roy. It didn't work too well.

"You know, you look cute in your boxers, too." Roy started walking towards Ed.

"Ahhh! Get away from me!" Ed started waving his crutch around as he was pushing himself across the room.

Ed's boxers started to slide dangerously low as he pushed himself across the room. Ed immediately hitched them up before Roy saw anything.

"Aww, you're no fun, Ed. You know I wouldn't do anything to you without your consent." Roy smirked. "Do I have your permission?"

"Not in here!" Ed pointed at Roy's desk. "Do your work!"

"'Not in there', huh? So that means somewhere else I may have your consent?" Roy was very hopeful that Ed would say yes.

Ed smirked. "Maybe… now go do your work."

Roy's eyes lit up. "Do you want to come over my apartment in two days?"

"Depends on whether I get my limbs back."

Roy thought about it for a minute. "Fine, your limbs are in my closet. You also have the rest of the day off because I know it's painful to put your automail back in the socket."

"Thanks, I'll be over at your apartment in two days!" Ed limped out the door towards Roy's apartment.

Roy cheered, "Yay!"

Ed got to Roy's apartment, went to the closet, and found his limbs in there. "Well, I should put them back on in my room on my bed."

Ed crutched over to his room and saw Al sitting in a chir reading a book on Alchemy. Al looked up from his book to see Ed in the doorway. "Why are you back home early, nii-san?

"Oh, the Colonel let me off early and gave me back my limbs." Ed held up his limbs to show Al.

"That was nice of him. Would you like me to help you put them back on?"

"Yeah, if I do it on my own, I would only be able to put one limb on, then pass out." Ed handed the limbs to Al.

"Okay, leg first on the count of three. One… two… three." Click! Ed's leg was attacked and Ed stifled a cry of pain. "Are you okay?"

Ed was wincing. "Yeah… just quickly do the arm before I pass out."

"Okay. Again on the count of three. One… two… three." Click! Ed stifled another cry of pain and passed out on the bed.

Al pulled a blanket over him and went back to reading his book.

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Okay, the next entry will probably be Ed at Roy's apartment! What will happen there? I don't even know..._

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**Oh, the insane reviewers!**

**Angel-of-Music1331:** Well there you go! Hope you enjoyed Ed's day at work in his boxers!

**sammz111:** WERD!


	9. Ed Goes Over Roy's Apartment

**Ed Goes Over Roy's Apartment**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: I'm back from band camp! The whole pie and Cornello thing actually happened to me. I stayed up until 5 AM talking about pie and how the name Cornello sounded funny. I drew two of my friends a piece of pie at like 4 in the morning also... I only got an hour of sleep that night... had to drink two cups of coffee and I still wan't awake..._

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, but the beginning you can't steal because it's based on an exprience that I hadat band camp...**

There was knocking at Roy's door. "Come in," Roy yelled at the door. "Hey, Fullmetal."

"Hello, Colonel, I'm so tired…" Ed looked like he was going to pass out at any moment. He then collapsed onto Roy's couch.

"Why are you so tired?"

"Winry came over last night to visit and she didn't leave until five o'clock in the morning. She spent the whole night talking about how she liked pie and how 'Cornello' was a funny name." Ed yawned.

"She thought 'Cornello' was a funny name?"

"Yes, she said it sounded like 'corn cello'."

"'Corn cello'? Interesting… is she seeing a therapist?"

"Sadly, no." Ed sighed. "I don't feel like doing anything today… I'm sorry."

"It's okay, just don't invite Winry over the night before we see each other again…" Roy was disappointed. "Are you sure you don't want to do anything? I'll even put on the dress for you…"

"You can put the dress on if you really want to, but I'm not going to do anything…"

Envy suddenly hops through the window.

"Yo, Hagane No Chibi-san! Hey, Colonel."

Ed suddenly wasn't tired anymore and started spazing at the comment on his height.

"Geez, could you not spaz at every little comment on your height? What are you doing?"

"Oh, I invited Ed to come over and we were just sitting here thinking of what we should do. You want to stay?" Roy was thinking of something to do with Envy.

"Sure, why not. I have nothing better else to do. I just have to leave at eight o'clock to pick up my skorts from the dry cleaners."

"Yay! Now, put this dress on Envy." Roy holds up a black dress.

"Okay, it's not like it's any different from what I normally wear…" Envy walks into Roy's bathroom to get changed.

Envy walks out of the bathroom with the dress on. It actually looks really nice on him.

"Wow, if I didn't know that you were a guy, I'd go out with you," Ed commented.

"You didn't say that when I wore my dress!" Roy felt hurt.

"That's because you look too much like a guy. Envy almost looks like a girl. Winry thinks that he's a girl, I forgot to tell her that he's a cross-dressing guy…"

"Winry thinks I'm a girl! Can't she tell that I'm flat-chested like a guy?" Envy was a little mad.

"Well, you see, Winry didn't think of that. Girls generally don't look at other girl's chests unless they're lesbians."

Neither of them had noticed that Roy left and changed into his dress. "Hello! I decided to wear my dress because I got bored!"

Ed jus sat there wondering why he was there looking at two guys in dresses. Then he decided he would join in. "I'll be right back." Ed left the room to go get his dress.

After a few minutes, Ed came back, dress in hand, and headed towards the bathroom. On his way to the bathroom, Ed trips on something and fell into Envy. Both of them were on the floor, and Envy's dress had been flipped up.

"OH MY GOD! ENVY HAS NO UNDERWEAR ON! I'M BLIND!" Ed screamed.

"Envy, why don't you wear underwear?" Roy asked not caring that Envy was wearing nothing under the dress.

"Well, you see, with wearing those spandex shorts, underwear bunches up and it gets really annoying. So I decided not to wear underwear anymore."

Ed had gotten over his episode and continued to the bathroom and put his dress on. Ed had even pulled his hair out of the braid because he knew Roy liked his hair down with the dress on.

Ed walks back into the room and saw Roy and Envy talking to each other. "Hey, chibi-san, now you look like a girl, too," Envy said playfully.

"Yeah, well, at least I'm wearing underwear." Ed pulls up his dress to show some Nicholas Flammel symboled boxers.

The clock chimed eight o'clock. "I got to go now, thanks for the dress Roy. I love it!"

"No problem. Just, next time you wear that dress, wear underwear. I don't want to disturb Ed again."

Envy sighed. "Fine. Just let me change." Envy changed in the bathroom, walked into the main room, over to the window, and jumped out.

Ed and Roy just sat there for a few minutes wondering what they should do. "Well, I guess I'll go to, I need sleep." Ed gets up to leave not caring that he was in a dress.

"Hold on a second." Roy runs over to his desk, writes something, and hands it to Ed. "Read this when you get to your apartment."

Ed walks back to his apartment. Luckily, no one was in the hall at the time. He then walks through the door to see that Al wasn't there. "I guess he went to see Winry," Ed thought.

Then Ed opened up the note to see that it said:

Come over again in a week and bring your dress. Please reply. Gibe me a note at work.

Love,

Roy

_"Eh, it wouldn't hurt to go…"_ Ed thought.

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: I'm so tired from band camp, but I didn't want to let my reviewers down by making them wait a whole extra day! I'm sorry if you don't like the chapter due to some scary stuff with Envy... just for future reference, I'm not going to turn this into an EdXEnvy thing... It's wrong for spoilerific reasons that I can't say..._

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**To the reviewers!**

**crazyanimefreak15:** I guess it did answer the Ed: boxers or breifs question! XD And this one answered the Envy: Boxers or breifs too! He wears neither! I scared people with my Envy drawing that I hung up in my cabin... they thought he was a girl at first...

**Angel-of-Music1331:** I'm glad that you thought it was amusing! I hoped that this chapter was worth the week's wait...


	10. The Train Ride to Winry's

**The Train Ride to Winry's**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: I'm starting to think that I'm starting an AlXWinry thing... not purpously either... Oh, well..._

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist... Ed would be mine if I did...**

"Hey, nii-san, do you want to go to Winry's?" Al was bored out of his mind and wanted to go somewhere.

"Yeah, we can go tomorrow if you want. Just make sure you call Winry and warn her. I don't want to go on that long train ride for nothing. I also have to tell the Colonel that I'm taking a day off."

Al runs over to the phone to call Winry. After a few minutes Al hung up. "She says it's fine." Al looks at the clock. "You have to go to work now."

Ed gets up and puts his jacket on. "Well, see ya after work."

"Bye." Ed leaves. Then Ed walked back into the room, scribbled a note, and left again.

Roy was in his office procrastination his work like always. There was a knock on his door. "Come in." Ed walked in.

"Here." Ed handed him a note and said, "I have to take a day off tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Al really wanted to go to Winry's tomorrow."

"Okay, but you'll have to work two hours later than normal the next day."

"Fine, bye." Ed left the room.

Roy opens up the note and it said:

Fine, I'll come over. Make sure you have something for me to eat.

Love,

Ed

**The Next Day**

"Hurry up Al! We're going to miss the train!" Ed yelled at Al who was buying food for the ride.

"Coming! I hope you like the food that I bought. I'm not sure if you like them or whether they even smell good…"

"Al, almost any food is fine. As long as it's not wasabis or milk."

Then they hopped onto the train and found some seats. Everyone was staring at Al and Ed. Al whispered, "Nii-san, everyone is staring at me again…"

"Ignore them," Ed said while looking into the bag for some food. There were some sweet rolls inside and a bottle of, "MILK? Al why did you get me milk? You know I hate it!"

"Erm… Winry told me to try to get you to drink more milk. She says that it'll make you taller." Al shuffled in his seat.

Ed then mumbled, "I'm going to kill her for that comment…"

"That wouldn't be a good idea, she'll pummel you with that giant wrench of hers…" Al looks around. "Could you get those people to stop staring at me?"

"Well do you want me to be nice about it or scare the crap out of them so that they just leave?"

"I would like you to be nice about it, but I know you want to scare them. What are you planning on doing?"

"Take your head off and say, 'Run away before this haunted armor attacks you!' or something like that," Ed said in a relaxed voice like he did this all the time.

"That's not nice. There are small children here, too. I don't want them to be afraid of me," Al said while pointing at the little kids looking at him.

"I guess I shouldn't do that then… Okay, I'll try to be nice." Ed stands up to address everyone, "Would all of you stop staring at my brother? He doesn't like it. I'm sorry if you have a problem with someone wearing a suit of armor."

Then some random person yelled, "Shut up, shrimp! We weren't staring at him, we were staring at you! We wondered how anyone could be that short!"

Ed then took the random person and tried to throw him out the train window. Al had to restrain him before he did. "Stop, nii-san, we don't want to hurt anyone."

"But…" Ed was still really angry.

"No, Ed. Just because someone calls you short, doesn't mean you can throw them out the window." Al turns to the random person. "I'm sorry sir for the trouble my brother has caused."

Ed and Al walked back over to their seats and now every single person in the car were staring at them. "Don't worry about it Al…" Ed stands up again. "Anyone else here want to make any comments about my height? I'll be more then happy to punch your teeth out with my automail arm."

Everyone immediately turned away from Ed. Nobody stared at Ed or Al for the rest of the train ride except for the little kids.

There was one little kid who looked over the seat behind Al. Ed smiled and waved at her and Al turned to see who he was waving at. "Hello there!" Al said to the girl.

"Wow, you must like armor a lot to wear it on the train," the little girl said. "You must be a lot older than your brother, too."

Ed's expression immediately changed from happy to angry. "Actually, I'm the older brother. Al is a year younger than me."

"Then why are you so short when your brother is about two feet taller than you?"

Ed was now really angry and just mumbled stuff while Al whispered to the girl, "Don't call him short anymore. He hates it. Also, what's your name?"

"My name's Amy. What's your and your brother's name?"

"My name is Alphonse, just call me Al. And his name's Edward, but he likes to be called Ed."

"Nice to meet you! Well my mommy is telling me that we're about to get off now! Bye!"

Al looks out the window. "Nii-san, we have the next stop. Stop being an idiot, she's a nice girl."

Ed just stayed angry and looked out the window until their stop.

When they got to their stop, they saw Winry waiting for them.

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Obviously, the next chapter will be at Winry's house and all the craziness that will happen there...

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**To the Reviewers!** _

**Shadow Kitsune Kirby:** Don't worry Al will never wear a dress... and some other guys will never wear a dress...

**DarkButterfly3125:** Look, don't be a grammar nazi. I don't have very good grammar. At least my spelling is good most of the time...

**Angel-of-Music1331:** I'm glad!


	11. At Winry's House

**At Winry's House**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: I'm so sorry if this chapter isn't very good, but my muse left me... I tried really hard to make something funny, but none of it is laugh until you die funny..._

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist... blah... blah... blah...**

Al got off the train first. "Hi, Winry!"

"Hi, Al! Hi, Ed! Why do you look so angry, Ed?"

Al whispered to Winry, "Lots of people called him short on the train and I tried to give him milk like you said."

Winry understood and walked over to a shop to buy Ed some muffins and juice. Winry handed the food to Ed. "Here you go! This should make you feel better."

Ed started eating the food immediately, looking a lot happier. Winry just stood there looking a little disgusted as she watched Ed eat an entire bag of muffins in less than five minutes, then said, "Let's go back to my house!"

**At Winry's House**

"So, are you staying for the night, too?" Aunt Pinako asked Ed and Al.

"Sure, we brought some of our clothes just in case," Ed said.

"Here, give me your bags, and I'll take them to your room to unpack them." Winry walked over to take the suitcases.

"No, that's okay! I'll take them up!" Ed said in a slightly high-pitched voice.

"Fine, I was just trying to be nice…"

Ed and Al walked up to the spare room and put their suitcases on their beds. "Why didn't you let Winry take our bags for us?"

"Umm… I just wanted to unpack myself. I didn't want to bother her," Ed said nervously as if he was hiding something. "Al, why did you bring a suitcase? You don't need to change your clothes…" Ed quickly changed the subject.

"Sure I do. I have to make sure my loincloth is clean. It does get dirty you know."

"And you had to bring a big suitcase for it?"

"Well, we don't have any small suitcases…" It was now Al's turn to hide something.

Ed quickly runs over to Al's suitcase and opens it. "You put a cat in your suitcase?"

"Well, I saw the cat and I wanted to keep it…"

"You know, you could've killed the cat with it in the suitcase." Ed was a little angry at Al.

"No, actually, there are small holes in it. I transmuted them into the suitcase when you weren't looking." Al runs across the room to try and open Ed's suitcase to see what he was hiding. Ed was too fast for Al and blocked him. "What are you hiding, nii-san?"

"Nothing…"

"Then let me look since you shouldn't care if I see nothing." Al crossed his arms.

Ed shuffled away from his bag unwillingly. _"Please don't let him notice the dress. Please don't let him notice the dress,"_ Ed was thinking as Al was searching his bag.

Al had found the dress. "Nii-san, what is this?" Al held the dress up as if it was radioactive.

"I was planning on giving it to Winry…?" Ed was hoping his lie would work.

"But, nii-san, it looks like it's already been worn and the same symbol that's on your jacket is on the dress… Do I wan to know what you've been doing with Roy?" Al threw the dress at Ed and started edging toward the door, away from Ed.

"No, you don't want to know… I'm hungry when are we having dinner?" Ed changed the subject immediately to stop further questioning.

Al had already left the room questioning Ed's sanity. He then remembered that he left the cat in the room. So he turned around and went back. Al walked into the room, grabbed the cat and left again.

_"What do I do now? Now Al thinks I'm gay and insane…"_ Ed thought while looking out the window.

Then Ed heard Winry yell, "Dinner!" and he ran down there as fast as he could.

Ed just ate everything quickly then rand outside. Then Ed walked back in and asked for more food.

"Why do you need more food? You already ate a lot." Aunt Pinako was already cleaning up.

"Ummm… I got hungry again."

"Did you actually get taller?"

Ed looked nervous, "U-uhh… no…"

Then Aunt Pinako saw Ed walking outside with Winry and Al, too. "Who are you! You're not Ed! You're too tall to be the real Ed!" Aunt Pinako grabbed a pan and beat "Ed" with it.

"OW! Stop it! OW! It's Envy! OW!" Envy transformed back to his normal form.

"Oh, sorry Envy. You could've just come in as yourself…" Aunt Pinako hands him a plate of food.

Envy was rubbing his head as he took th food. "It was Ed's idea, he wanted to confuse you…"

Ed, Winry, and Al had gone over to Trisha's grave to pay their respects while Envy was eating.

After about fifteen minutes at the grave, Ed said, "Well, I've had enough. Let's go home."

That night, Envy decided to stay over and he slept in Ed and Al's room. Envy was bored out of his mind while Ed and Al were reading.

All of a sudden a nail went right through the window, breaking it, scaring Ed and Al half to death in the process. Envy was unfazed. He then walked over to the window and said, "Hey, Lust. Did you come to get me?"

"Yes, Gluttony and I have been looking for you all day. What are you doing here?"

"I felt like getting some food and decided to stay over. I'm very bored though. The chibi and Al are just reading…"

Ed's ears perked up when he heard the word "chibi". Ed ran over to Envy and smacked him with his book upside the head, causing Envy to fall out the window.

"Well, let's go Gluttony, we have Envy now. You forgot it was poker night, didn't you, Envy?"

"Oh, yeah! I'm going to win tonight! Stupid Greed, I swear he cheats…"

"Well, that was very weird. We should go to bed not. We need to travel back to East Central tomorrow," Al said, putting his book away and petting his cat.

"You're right Al, and will you get rid of that cat!" Ed put his book away as well.

"No, I'm going to see if Winry will take him in."

"Fine… Good night." Ed switched off the light.

"Good night, nii-san."

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: I'm sorry that it's so long, but I didn't feel like making it a two part chapter... I decided to work Lust into the story somewhere. She's a cool character... Next chapter will be at Roy's house probably!_

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**Only one review! (cries)**

**crazyanimefreak15:** You are the only reviewer! Everyone else was mean... I'm sorry if I scarred you for life with the 9th chapter and

I'm sorry that the last chapter wasn't that funny... I'm such a terrible person...


	12. Roy's Birthday

**Roy's Birthday**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: This is when Ed goes to Roy's apartment, again. This isn't what I originally wrote because what I originally wrote was too cruel towards Ed at the end. The ending should entertain you (I hope). Also, there are random notes from me twice in the story. They are italicized and in paranthesis!_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did, no one would mistake Envy for a girl!**

"Fullmetal, come to my apartment at seven o'clock tonight, okay? Remember your dress, too." Ed and Roy were in Roy's office discussing what they'll be doing at Roy's apartment tonight.

Ed crossed his arms. "Okay, as long as no one's going to be there."

"Of course no one's going to be there. Envy might randomly come, like always, but he doesn't count. Walk to my apartment in your dress, don't come and then change into it." Roy had a slightly evil plan going on in his head.

"Fine, I'll go to your apartment with the dress on. I'll just wear my jacket over it… I don't care if Envy comes because he always comes over whenever I do."

"Well, do we have everything arranged?"

"Not quite. You forgot about food." Ed was thinking about food, like always.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, I already got the food taken care of. So you come over at seven tonight in your dress," Roy said.

"That sounds right. See ya later!" Ed walked out the door.

_"He doesn't suspect a thing…"_ Roy thought.

**Ten minutes until Ed comes over**

"Okay, everyone, you all have to be quiet. Ed thinks there's no one here. All of you hide in the closet or bathroom. Don't worry I cleaned the closet," Roy announced to everyone in the room. Most of the people were from the military, but Al and Winry came, too.

"When will Ed be coming?" Riza asked Roy.

"Any minute now…" Roy smiles evilly.

There was a knock at the door. "Is everyone hidden?" Roy whispered.

There was no answer, which meant "Yes".

"Good," Roy whispered. Then he yelled to the door, "Come in!"

"Hey, Roy. It sounded like you were talking to someone. Is there someone here!" Ed hides behind a chair.

"No, it's okay. I was talking to Envy, but he just left. Want any food?" Roy hands Ed a bowl of chips.

"Chips weren't invented yet. Where did you get them?" Ed said while eating chips.

"I dunno, they just suddenly appeared." Roy then yelled, "NOW!"

Everyone burse into the room, and saw Ed in a dress. "$#! YOU SAID NO ONE WOULD BE HERE!" Ed tried to run for the door, but it was padlocked shut. He then tried to jump out the window, but then he realized he was on the third floor.

While Ed was frantically looking for an escape, Roy said, "Oh, did I say that? I meant everyone was going to be here for my party! It is my birthday, you know. I wanted some entertainment."

"WELL THAT'S JUST WONDERFUL! TOO BAD I DIDN'T GET YOU A PRESENT!" Ed said sarcastically.

"This is enough of a present, thank you. I think everyone else is enjoying it also." Roy pointed towards the people behind him laughing. Al was the only one who wasn't really laughing because he felt bad for his brother.

"You know, Roy, this isn't really nice," Al told Roy. Al was a little concerned about how long Ed could last before he would start to try and kill people.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. He might transmute something dangerous, won't he?"

Al nods. "Should I bring him back to my room? I could carry him inside me so no one else can see him."

"Yeah, you can do that, but first let's humiliate him a little more. Let's put him inside you, tell him you're going back to your room, but actually bring him outside. I bet Ed's yelling has attracted some attention to the building as it is." Roy was being positively evil.

"I think that's mean, but it is your birthday, so I'll do it." Al walks over to Ed. "Quick, hop inside me _(Fullmetal: That sounded so wrong…)_ and I'll take you back to our room." Al opened up the chest plate to his armor.

"Good, at least someone's nice to me…" Ed hops into Al. _(Fullmetal: That still sounded wrong…)_

Al started walking downstairs to go outside and Ed said, "It feels like we're going downstairs. We aren't going to our room, are we?"

"We're going to our room, don't worry, and don't talk too much. People keep on thinking I'm talking to myself."

Al then got outside, quickly dumped Ed out, and ran inside. Ed was wondering were he was, and then he quickly realized he was outside.

An old lady passed by, saw Ed, screamed, and fainted. Now everyone looked at Ed since the old lady screamed. They all laughed.

Ed ran to the door and pounded on it yelling, "AL! LET ME IN! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"

After a few minutes of Ed pounding on the door, there were screams. Al looked out to see that Ed transmuted his arm into the hand blade and was slicing the air in front of him. "Does anyone want to make fun of me anymore! I'll be glad to take some of your limbs off!" Everyone started running away except for one person. They looked oddly like the person on the train that was bold enough to call Ed short.

"The shrimp is in a dress!" the bold person yelled.

Ed then ran, full throttle at the person and jumped on top of them. "DON'T CALL ME A SHRIMP!" Ed started punching the person until Al ran out and restrained him.

"Okay, nii-san that's enough. I don't want anyone to go to the hospital because of you."

Ed snapped out of his angry state and said, "I'm hungry, can we get something to eat?"

"Sure, as soon as we get back to Roy's apartment. You might want to change back into your normal clothes, though." Al started walking with Ed back into the building, and went back up to their room so Ed could change.

After Ed had changed, they went back to Roy's party. Ed still was very angry at Roy and transmuted Roy's metal bed into a metal bat. "Batter up!" Ed swung the bat right in between Roy's legs as hard as he could.

"Call… ambulance…" Roy said before he passed out on the ground.

Ed was pretty satisfied and then called an ambulance because he knew that he hit Roy really hard. Roy was unconscious the whole way into and on the ambulance to the hospital. He eventually woke up a few hours later.

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Don't worry Roy lovers! Roy isn't permanently damaged! I'm not mean like that! I don't want flames! The next chapter will have Ed visiting Roy at the hospital!_

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**To the Reviewers!**

**Angel-of-Music1331:** It's ok that you didn't review for the last chapter! I'm sorry for the unfunniness of the last two chapters!

**AncientSilverYouko:** I'm glad you like my story! It's not that hard to be random! I also looked up what wasabi was to see if you were correct. I found out that wasabi is a condement, but it's made from a root of the herb _Eutrema wasabi. _That was really what I was refering to. There are contests where they eat the root, not the condement. Also, now I have like three armies that will beafter me if I don't update...scary...


	13. Ed Visits Roy at the Hospital

**Ed Visits Roy at the Hospital**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Well, as you know, Roy ended up in the hospital... Ed decided to pay him a visit as Al makes him say that he's sorry. Hope you enjoy it!_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! If I did, it wouldn't be as good as it really is! If that made any sense...**

"Visitors for you Mr. Mustang." A nurse had walked into Roy's room to tell him this.

"Who are they?" Roy sat up.

"A suit of armor and a short kid who says he's the Fullmetal Alchemist."

"Send them in."

The nurse bowed and left to get Ed and Al. Roy could hear Ed spazing because the nurse had called him short. They entered Roy's room. Al pushed Ed in front of him. "Go ahead, nii-san."

"I'm sorry, Colonel. I got you a real birthday present, too." Ed handed Roy a gift that had a tag on it that said, "Don't open until Al leaves."

Roy smiled. "Thank you, Ed. I really appreciate it, but I'm the one that owes you an apology. It's my fault I got hurt. That was a pretty nice bat you made, too."

Ed scratched the back of his head and laughed a little bit. "How are you feeling? I know that must've been really painful…"

"I'm feeling much better now. I still can't walk properly, though. I should be back to work in about two days."

"Hey, Al. Could you leave? I think we're about halfway to Winry's. How about you go visit her." Ed hands Al some money.

"Okay, I'll see you later!" Al leaves.

"You can open your present now."

"Yay! I wonder what it is!" Roy opened up the present to show boxers that said on the butt, "Belongs to the Fullmetal Alchemist". Roy's eye twitched then he said, "You got these custom made?"

"Yup! I thought it would be funny, so I got them."

After Roy looked at the boxers for a minute, he deiced that he liked them. "Thanks, Ed. I really like them. When is your birthday?"

"In a few months. Just so that you know, Lust and Envy are outside of your window." Ed pointed at the window.

Roy looked over towards the window and said, "Let them in." Roy put away his gift so that Lust couldn't see. He knew Envy wouldn't care, though.

Ed walked over and unlatched the window, letting Envy and Lust in. "Where's Gluttony? Usually he's with you two."

"Oh, he's on the ground. He can't climb trees," Lust said.

Ed looked out the window and down onto the ground. Sure enough, Gluttony was on the ground eating a close by tree.

"Roy, why weren't we invited to your party? I heard you had great entertainment," Envy asked Roy.

"Oh, I didn't invite you because a lot of military people were at the party. I didn't want you to get arrested or anything."

"Good point. I also heard hat the Chibi over here was the one that sent you to the hospital. What did he do to you?"

Ed was spazing in the background. "Well, Ed was the entertainment at my party. I didn't tell him that it was a party that he was going to. I told him to wear this dress, so he did. I thin trapped him in a room full of people then let him run around a little bit. Then, I told Al to take him outside while he was still in the dress. Ed started attacking people outside. After Al took him inside to get his clothes changed, they came back to my party. Ed was still really mad at me, and transmuted my bed into a metal bat. He then took the bat and swung it at a particularly sensitive spot below the belt, if you know what I mean."

Envy winced. "Ouch. He must've hit you really hard to land you in the hospital."

"Ed was wearing a dress on his own free will? Since when did he have a dress?" Lust asked. Keep in mind that she doesn't know what's going on between Ed and Roy.

"Erm… let's change the subject," Ed said.

"Well we brought you a present, Roy. Even though we weren't invited, we were nice enough to get you something." Envy handed Roy the present. "Wrath transmuted it for you."

Roy opened up the present and it was a pair of new gloves. "Wow, this is really nice, Wrath transmuted it on his own?"

"Yeah, he's gotten really good. Well, we have to go now. We don't want Gluttony to start eating people while we're away." Envy and Lust jumped out the window onto the tree. Envy missed the branch and started falling. Lust shot out one of her nails to get Envy.

"Did you really have to do that Lust! It would probably be just as painful to just fall!" Envy yelled at Lust. He didn't appreciate the fact that Lust had shot her nail through Envy's stomach to save him.

"Oops, sorry. Good thing you're not a human!"

Ed was watching this happen and stared laughing. "Good job, Envy! You could've just transformed into a bird or something!" Ed yelled out the window.

"You know, Hagane No Chibi is right! Let go of me, Lust! I'm on a branch now!"

Ed twitched and then started yelling, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN ULTRA-SUPER-HYPER MIDGET?"

"I didn't say that much… Well, see ya later!" Envy and Lust left with Glutton who finished eating the tree.

"Well, I have to go to, Colonel. I'll see you at work in a few days."

"Okay, bye. Thanks again for the present!"

Ed left.

_"Now I'm bored, what am I going to do?"_ Roy thought to himself. _"I guess I'll just sleep…"_

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: I hope you liked this chapter, but I won't be updating as often, soon... school is going to start very soon for me... I don't like it at all... but I'll make sure that I update at least every week! I'll try daily because I'll try to write in my free time during class... If I started this last year then I would update daily, but my mother will be breathing down my neck to study for tests this year, so I'm sorry if you have to wait a week for just one update! Don't hurt me!_

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**Oh, the scary Reviwers that want to kill me if I don't update!**

**Angel-of-Music1331:** I am so glad you though that the previous chapter was hilarious! I got my humor back! I hope...

**Shadow Kitsune Kirby:** I'm so surprised at how many people love my fanfic! It makes me so happeh!

**Aeralis:**Hello, new person!You will come to my house with a thing? Is it scary? Should I run away? I never knew that my stories were so funny! I shall continue to write as long as people keep on giving me good reviews!


	14. Roy is Back From the Hospital

**Roy is Back From the Hospital**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Sorry this one isn't extremely funny, but it's leading to something funny (I hope). Please don't leave me because of a slightly unfunny chapter..._

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!**

"Hey, Colonel. Feeling better?" Ed leaned on Roy's office's doorframe.

"Yes I feel much better. I hope that never happens again though. The doctor said that if I ever got hit that hard again, there would be permanent damage done…"

"Well, I came over to tell you that you have lots of paperwork to do and to invitee you to come with me, Winry, and Al to the beach." Ed held out a stack of paperwork for Roy.

"More paperwork? Well, I'll come with you to the beach. I just got a new swimsuit, too. Why is Winry coming?"

Ed sighed. "Al's idea… We're going to the beach tomorrow, so try to get all of your paperwork done. I don't want Riza suddenly coming to the beach with her gun yelling at you to get back to work."

Roy shivered. "Yeah that would be scary. I guess I'll actually do all of my paperwork today."

"Well, I'll leave you to your work. See you later!" Ed left.

Roy actually did he paperwork

While Roy was working, Ed was at the library researching about the Philosopher's Stone. All of a sudden, Havoc comes in saying, "There was a chimera attack on Main Street. You are ordered to take care of it, sir."

Ed sighed, put his book down, and had Havoc drive him down to Main Street. Ed got out of the car and didn't see a chimera anywhere. "Havoc, where's the chimera?" Havoc was nowhere to be found. "Havoc? Where did you go?"

Then Envy, Lust, Gluttony, and Wrath walked into the street. "What did you guys do to Havoc?"

"Oh, that was me. We thought that you needed to stop reading so much," Envy said.

"I was researching for the Philosopher's Stone!"

"Well, we heard that you were going to the beach. Why didn't you invite us?" Wrath asked with his arms crossed.

"Erm… I didn't hink of inviting the homunculi… you can come if you want to. Just don't bother me while we're there. Any of the homunculi can come."

"That's good that you invited us because we had some blackmail if you didn't invite us." Lust held up a picture of Ed in his dress.

Ed ran over and grabbed the picture. "Where did you get this!"

"Roy gave it to us. You can do whatever you want to the picture. We have lots of copies, so don't go against us unless you want everyone in the country to see this picture." Envy smirked.

Ed twitched. "Wow, that's bad. You have to be at my apartment, ready to go to the beach at nine in the morning. Come any later, and you aren't going."

"Good. Don't worry we'll be on time. We all really need to get a tan. As you can tell we're all really pale except for Wrath's right arm and left leg, of course," Lust said.

Ed winced because of the last comment about Wrath. "Yes, well, that's a given. Do we have everything settled?"

"Yes, we appreciate your generosity. See ya tomorrow!" Envy, Lust, Gluttony, and Wrath left.

Then Ed mumbled, "Not like I had a choice. I guess I'll go check up on Roy."

Ed had to walk all the way back to the office building. When he got in, he went up to Roy's office and walked into the room. The office was empty. _"Roy must be in the bathroom,"_ Ed thought.

Ed sat down at Roy's desk and looked at how much paperwork he still had to do. He actually got a lot done. Ed got bored, so he transmuted his radio into a heart-shaped radio. Roy walked back into his office and saw Ed sitting at his desk. "What are you doing here?"

"I had nothing better to do. Do you like what I did to your radio?" Ed pointed at the radio.

"You made it heart-shaped? How unoriginal."

"I was bored! Geez… By the way, the homunculi are now coming with us to the beach."

"Why?" Roy went over to his closet to get some Pocky.

"They blackmailed me. I'm hungry. Give me some Pocky." Ed got up and put his hand out.

Roy licked a stick of Pocky and handed it to Ed. "Do you still want it?" Roy sat down behind his desk.

Ed took the Pocky and ate it. "Sure, why not? I'm really hungry. I should let you get back to your work. I'll see you tomorrow at nine in the morning? Try not to be late."

"Okay, see ya tomorrow!"

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Next chapter is at the beach! Ahhh! Scary school is approaching for me! runs away_

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**To the partially insane reviewers!**

**Angel-of-Music1331:** Well, I updated, and I don't want to go to school! cries

**Aeralis:** Don't worry I'll read your story! Just don't hurt me!

**Mookie and Moofie:** Yes, Ultra-Super-Hyper Midget. He did actually say that in the show too! I have way too many people threatning to hurt or maim me if I don't update... should I call a lawyer?


	15. To the Beach!

**To the Beach!**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: This one is a lot longer than usual... The plush keychain of Roy does actually have a non-identifiable piece of red felt in his hand..._

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!**

**Ten Minutes Until Nine O'clock**

"Al, do we have everything packed?" Ed was putting their beach umbrella on their bag.

"I think so!" Al was excited. He doesn't go to the beach often.

Then there was a knock at the door. Al answered it and Roy was there. "The homunculi haven't come yet?" Roy asked Ed.

"No, but they should be here any minute." Sure enough, there was a knock and the door and the homunculi came in.

"Where's Sloth and Pride?" Roy looked at the homunculi to make sure that they weren't hiding.

"Oh, they didn't want to spoil anything, so they decided not to come," Envy said.

"Well, we're all set to go! I hope the homunculi brought their own car. We can't fit them all in Roy's car." Ed then looked around. "Where's Winry?"

Roy scratched the back of his head. "You know, I was wondering why Ed didn't have a bruise on his head yet…"

Al sweat dropped. "Oh, yeah, Winry said she'll meet us there. I forgot to tell you, Ed."

"You could've told me that earlier… Well, let's go!" Everyone left the room out to their cars. The homunculi had a very nice mini van.

It was a pretty boring car ride, so we'll skip ahead to the beach.

**At the Beach**

"Wow, there are a lot of people here… There's Winry!" Al ran over to Winry.

Ed ran after Al. "Be careful Al! I don't want to dig you out of the sand later!"

Wrath ran after Ed and Al, but the rest of them just walked over.

Wrath, Ed, and Al started flying kites. Wrath and Ed seemed to be having a kite battle between each other. Ed's red Nicholas Flammel symboled kite kept on crashing into Wrath's black oroborus kite. Since they were using stunt kites, they have amazing control over their kites. The point of Wrath's kite then made a hole in Ed's kite. Ed started cursing out Wrath while he was laughing. All of a sudden, Wrath's kite burst into flame. While Wrath was wondering what happened, Ed looked towards Roy and he saw Roy put his glove away. Ed smiled, "Thanks!"

"No problem. I'll get you a new kite later," Roy said.

"Oh, my kite was custom made by me. You don't see too many red kites with the Nicholas Flammel symbol on it do you?" Ed sighed. "I'll have to transmute a new one later… I just need materials."

"I'll get them for you. How about you go play Frisbee with Winry and Envy?"

"Eh, I'll just go play with Al and his kite. He's he only one who didn't get his kite destroyed, yet…" Ed walked over to Al.

Gluttony was eating everyone's umbrellas and everyone was leaving. "Looks like Gluttony's doing what I told him." Lust was lying in a chair trying to tan.

Roy raised an eyebrow. "What did you tell him to do?"

"I told him to make everyone leave. Too many people stare at me whenever I'm in a swimsuit. They don't call me Lust for nothing."

"Good point. I thought it was too crowded anyway. Although, the screaming is annoying…" Roy put his gloves in his bag, and then went swimming.

Envy suddenly ran over to Ed, picked him up, and threw him into the water. "I wonder if shrimps can swim!"

Ed got caught in the whitewash and was waving an arm out of the water. Roy saw Ed drowning and got him. Roy brought him back to shore, coughing.

Envy walked away saying, "I guess shrimps can't swim…"

While Ed was still coughing, he clapped his hands together and transmuted a hand by Envy. The hand grabbed Envy and pulled him into the sand. Just Envy's head was sticking out, and Wrath ran over and kicked sand into his face.

"Pfft! As soon as I get out of the ground, I'm going to kill you!" Envy was yelling.

"That'll take you a wile…" Ed laughed as Al accidentally stepped on Envy.

"Oh, I'm sorry Envy. What did you do to Ed for him to do that to you?"

"He threw me into the water…" Ed pulled out his braid, brushed his hair, and put it back into the braid. Then he wiped all the water off his automail and oiled it.

By now, there was no one on the beach except Ed, Al, Winry, Roy, and the homunculi.

"Good job, Gluttony," Lust said to Gluttony. She got burned so she was sitting in the shade of the beach umbrella.

When they had enough of the beach, they went to the boardwalk. They first tried the game where you flip a rubber frog onto a lily pad. Wrath won a little chibi doll of himself. Envy tried, lost, detached the hammer from the game, and threw it at the person that was collecting money and giving out prizes for the game.

Wrath was analyzing his chibi doll pointing out what they got wrong on it. "I like this doll, but it seems like this eye is a little higher up than the other…"

"That's what you get for a cheesy doll at the boardwalk." Ed took the doll and ripped its head off. "There you go. Now you don't have to worry about it." Ed handed the ripped doll back to Wrath.

Lust started looking around. "Where did Greed go? He hasn't talked the whole time we were here…"

Then they walked into an arcade and found Greed. He was sitting in a pile of little Greed plushes.

"I'm not going to ask." Ed walked over to a crane game that had little plush key chains of him and Roy. Ed calls Roy over. "What is that red felt thing that your keychain is holding?"

Roy looks closer at the key chains in the machine. "I don't know. I think it's supposed to be a flame… here's five dollars, go over to that crane game and try to get a plush of yourself and me."

"Okay." Ed went over to the change machine and got some quarters. He was successful at getting the plushes. "Here you go, Roy. Why did you want them?"

"Keep the one that looks like me. I'll take the one that looks like you." Roy then hugged his little Ed chibi plush. "Hey look, you can remove the clothes on it so you can change their outfit! Ed, your plush even has the automail!"

"Wow, these are really detailed plushes. Let's get an Envy one and rip its head off." Ed runs over to a crane game that gave out Envy plushes.

Ed was successful at getting one. "Wow, this is a very interesting plush. If you open up his back and turn him inside out, he turns into a palm tree."

"That's funny." Roy takes the plush, and throws it at Envy. "Here's your chibi double."

Envy figures out how to turn the plush inside out. "Why does my plush turn into a palm tree?"

By now, everyone had a plush double of themselves, but Wrath had the head of his ripped off and Greed had a million of himself.

Al runs over to Ed and shows him his plush double. "Look, nii-san! My plush has a cat!"

"That's nice, how about all of you go home. I wan tot stay here with Roy a little longer."

"Okay, good thing the homunculi have a mini-van." Al then goes with the homunculi back home and Winry takes the train home.

"Hey Roy, I rented a beach house for us. Would you like to go?" Ed picked up a Greed plush that Greed left behind.

"Sure, I'm tired."

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: OO What will happen at the beach house! Dont' worry nothing bad! The next chapter will be at the beach house!_

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**To the only Reviewer!**

**Angel-of-Music1331:** A porkchop! oO That must be a little scary...


	16. The Beach House Part 1

**The Beach House (Part 1)**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: I'm such a bad person! I haven't posted inthree days! I'm sorry, I was lazy on Sunday, had school and a marching band thing on Monday... Had school on Tuesday and got into trouble with parents becauseItried to go on the internet beforeI did my homework...I tried to get it up on Sunday, but it got late... I'm so mean..._

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchmist!**

Ed opens up the door to show the inside of a very nice beach house. The inside was beautiful. "Wow, Ed. How did you get all the money for this?"

"I saved up my money!" Ed smiled while thinking, _"Actually I used some of my research funds…"_

"How long are we staying here for?" Roy started looking for a bedroom.

Ed followed him. "Three days and three nights. I'll call Al right now to tell him we're staying here. I told him that we would be coming home late, but not in three days. You should also call us out of work. Just make up some illness or something…"

Ed went over to the phone and called Al. After Ed was done, Roy called him and Ed out of work making up some sickness. "Umm… Ed? I didn't pack anything."

"Already taken care of!" Ed pulled out two suitcases, one was his and the other was Roy's.

"That works. Did you pack the dresses?"

"Sure did!" Ed pulled the dresses out of the suitcases.

"Awesome! There only seems to be one bedroom…" Roy smiles.

"Then I'm sleeping on the couch." Ed goes over to the couch and lies down.

"Awww… come on!" Roy bugged Ed.

"NO! I'm not sleeping with you!" Ed looked around to see if Roy was right. He really didn't want to sleep on the couch.

"You're mean… I was kidding, too. There's a second bedroom…" Roy points towards the second bedroom.

"Good… want to go walk on the beach before it gets dark?" Ed was still in his swimsuit, so he put a shirt on. It was starting to get a little cold out.

"Sure, why not?" Roy put a shirt on as well. "You know, you didn't complement on my new swim shorts…"

Ed looks at his shorts. They were black with flames on the bottom. "You know, that fits your title, but it doesn't fit your personality. If it fit your personality, it would be pink, covered in flowers… maybe one small flower would be on fire…"

Roy crossed his arms. "You're mean. At least I don't have the Nicholas Flammel cross on every piece of clothing I have." Ed's shorts were red with the Nicholas Flammel cross in black on the corner of one short leg.

"Well, it's almost like my trademark. I like it…" Ed walked out the door to go to the beach.

Roy sighed and followed Ed. Ed clapped his hands together and made a huge sand castle. "Wow, that's really nice. You could live in it, Ed!" Roy laughed.

Ed was trying not to spaz. He just grumbled to himself. Then Ed just walked down the beach, looking out on the horizon to see if he could see any dolphins. Then he stepped on a crab. "AHH! STUPID CRAB! YOU HAD TO PINCH MY RIGHT LEG!" Ed was jumping around on one foot cursing out the stupid crab.

"Get over here, and I'll help you." Ed hopped over to Roy. Toy had his glove on. He took the crab off of Ed then… SNAP! BOOM! Roy handed the crab back to Ed, cooked. "Enjoy."

Ed took the crab, and then said, "I don't have a shell cracker… wait…" Ed found a piece of scrap metal and transmuted it. "There we go!" Ed started eating the crab. "Wow, this is really good!"

"Thanks, I think we should go in now, it's getting dark." Roy and Ed started walking back towards the beach house. By the time they got back, Ed was done eating the crab.

"Well, I'm going to read for a little bit, then go to bed… I have a few things from the library that I borrowed that I really wanted to read." Ed takes his book from the suitcase and starts reading it on the couch.

Roy took out his knitting. It looked like he was making a red sweater with the Nicholas Flammel cross on the front of it in black. "What do you think?" Roy held it out for Ed to see.

Ed looks up. "I think you're crazy for knitting. I never knew you knew how to…" Ed went back to reading. "Oh, yeah. I think it's nice."

"That's good." After about two hours, they decided to go to bed. "Last chance to sleep with me!" Roy smiled.

"No." Ed went into his room. Then he came up with an evil idea. _"I should put Roy's fingers in warm water while he's sleeping. I haven't done this since Al had one of his friends sleep over when he still had his body… I just have to wait until Roy's sleeping…"_ Ed waited for half an hour. By then, Roy was snoring lightly. Ed quietly opened up the door with a glass of warm water. Ed put Roy's fingers in the glass. _"I hope this works…"_ Ed quietly walks out of the room.

_"I'm going to be dead tomorrow, I know it…"_ Ed changed into his pajamas and went to sleep.

At three o'clock in the morning, Ed was woken up by Roy yelling, "ED!"

_"Yes, it worked…"_ Ed ran upstairs to act innocent. "What's wrong?"

Roy's pants and bed were wet. "WHAT DO YOU THINK?" Roy pointed at the wet bed.

Ed rubbed his eyes, acting tired, hiding his excitement. "I dunno, I was sleeping… maybe you should change your pants and sheets. It seems like you wet the bed. It's not my fault you have no control…"

"YOU PUT MY FINGERS IN WARM WATER!" Roy took a pair of new pajama pants and went into the bathroom to change.

Ed burst out laughing and went back to his room. _"Now I defiantly know I'm going to pay later…"_

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: The next chapter will be the next 3 days and 2 nights at the beach house! I hope you liked this chapter because it took me three days before I could actually post it! Hopefully, I can get the next chapter up in a shorter amount of time..._

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**To the Reviewers! Wooo! I almost got 50 reviews!**

**Angel-of-Music1331:** I'm guessing you really like Gluttony. I, personally, don't like him that much. He's like my least favorite homunculus (sorry if I offended some people). I'm glad that you review every time! Maybe you'll be the oh so special 50th reviewer!

**Shadow Kitsune Kirby:** I liked the Envy plush too. I made that up, there is no real Envy plush, sadly. I thought that the palm tree would fit him perfectly! XD

**Mookie and Moofie:** I'm glad your army likes me. I'm also glad you liked the 14th chapter! You know, I'm glad way too much...


	17. The Beach House Part 2

**The Beach House (Part Two)**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist: I'm so sorry for the delay, but I was banned from the internet for a little bit. I decided to make this a three part chapter because it would take me forever to type if it was one big chapter. Also, it would take people a long time to read. Just so that you know this chapter's a little... erm... dirty I guess. They go to a nudist beach, kind of by accident. Hope you like the chapter!_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! But I do own Pipsqueak Cruchies and the random guy!**

After Ed woke up, he went to eat breakfast. "Good morning, Ed," Roy said. He was reading the newspaper and drinking coffee.

"Morning, Roy. Do we have a sugary cereal here?" Ed was looking through the cabinets.

"Oops, I forgot to get cereal when I went out to get the paper and some coffee mix. How about you run out and get your own cereal." Roy went back to his paper.

"Fine…" Ed grumbled and shuffled off to his room to change. After he got dressed, he walked out the door, half asleep, to get himself some cereal.

He got to the supermarket and someone waved to him saying, "Hi, pipsqueak!"

Ed was never too tired to spaz at a comment about his height. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BEAN?"

The random guy just laughed and got into his car.

Ed then walked into the supermarket saying, "When did we have a supermarket? I've never seen one before… I won't be able to find cereal…" Ed walked up to some lady that worked at the supermarket. "Excuse me, where's the cereal?"

The lady turned around, saw Ed, and started laughing. "In… aisle six…" she said while laughing. "Nice mustache!"

"Huh? I don't have a… wait…" Ed ran over to the nearest mirror, which was in the bathroom. _"Well, I guess Roy got his payback after the wetting the bed incident."_ Ed had glasses, a mustache, and "Hi! My name is Pipsqueak!" written on his forehead and face. I was in permanent marker. Ed tried to wash it off. It didn't work too well. _"I guess I'll have to get my cereal like this…"_

Ed walked over aisle six and found lots of sugary cereal. There were even Pipsqueak Crunchies with little marshmallows that resembled Ed. _"Why is there a cereal called Pipsqueak Crunchies with me in it?"_ Ed shrugged, picked up the box of Pipsqueak Crunchies, and went to a register to buy it.

"That'll be $2.50, Mr. Pipsqueak." The cashier laughed a lot after saying this.

Ed just shoved the money into the cashier's hand and left, a little angry.

Ed got back to the beach house and walked through the door. "Nice joke. What are you five years old?" Ed said to Roy.

"Well, I wasn't very awake, and that was what I could think of at such short notice. So, you got your cereal?"

"Yes. Very interesting cereal, too. The marshmallows resemble me and the cereal's called Pipsqueak Crunchies." Ed took out a bowl and spoon and sat down.

Roy burst out laughing. "That is the funniest cereal I've ever seen!"

Ed tried not to spaz, so his eye twitched instead. "How about you go and see if there's any cereal with you in it?" Ed started eating the cereal.

"No that's okay." Roy noticed Ed was eating his cereal with milk. "I thought you hated milk."

"I only like milk if it's with cereal." Ed continued eating.

"By the way you hated milk, I though you were lactose intolerant."

"No, I just think it tastes like crap. This cereal is pretty good, but it feels weird eating marshmallows that look like me… it's almost like cannibalism…" Ed started readint eh back of the box, still eating.

"After you're done eating, do you want to go to the beach again?" Roy asked.

"Sure, as long as you are able to wash the marker off my face." Ed had finished eating, and he was putting his empty bowl in the sink.

"Well, there are two ways we can get the marker off. One, I burn it off, and two, you scrub it off. Which one do you choose?" Roy had his hand in his pocket just in case Ed picked the first one.

"I think I'll take the second one." Ed went into the bathroom to try and scrub the marker off his face.

After an hour, there wasn't a trace of any marker on his face. Roy was sitting on the couch, reading. "Took you long enough. Let's go get our swimsuits on."

Ed and Roy went into their rooms to change. Then, after they changed, they went out to the beach. Roy had a bag filled with food with him while Ed was carrying the umbrella. It was too crowded on the beach so they decided to find a different beach that was close by. Not paying attention to the sign that said "Nudist Beach" the walked into that beach. When Ed looked at his surroundings he just yelled, "AHH! WE'RE AT THE WRONG BEACH!"

Roy just stood there wondering how they didn't notice the giant sign that said "Nudist Beach" on it. "Ed, stop running around and screaming. You're going to annoy people." Roy was slowly edging towards the exit when he thought of a slightly evil and perverted idea. "Hey, Ed. You want to stay?"

"NO! LET'S LEAVE NOW! AHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Ed was shielding his eyes as Roy started stripping so that they could stay.

"I'm just following the rules of the beach. If you don't do the same thing, you'll be thrown out." Roy found a spot on the beach and laid out a towel and put the umbrella up.

Ed flinched. "W-we're staying?" Ed took off his shorts feeling very vulnerable. "I feel like some scary person is going to jump out and rape me…"

"Don't worry about it. We'll only stay for like two hours. I don't want to get burned on… erm… you know. That would be quite uncomfortable."

"We're staying for an hour at most. I have sensitive skin. Then, I wan tot go back to a normal beach. This place is scaring me." Ed noticed some other guy checking him out. Ed quickly took a towel and wrapped it around himself. "STOP STARING AT ME!" Ed yelled at the guy.

"Who are you talking to?"

"Some perv that was checking me out. Can we leave yet?"

"No, and take the towel off. You aren't even wet. I'm going to go swimming." Roy got up and walked over to the water. _"I'm being so mean…"_

Ed became very paranoid and yelled at everyone that looked at him. He also checked the clock that was on the beach every two minutes hoping it was time to go. Then all of a sudden, Ed heard Roy yell," OW! $#& FISH!" Then he ran out of the water.

"What happened?" Ed tried to look at the ground and not at Roy.

"Some stupid fish bit me!" Roy grabbed a towel.

"Where?" Ed wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

"Well, let's just say you really wouldn't want to be bitten there."

"Ouch. Can we leave now?" Ed was hopeful.

"Yes, I don't want to be bitten there again." Roy and Ed then put their shorts on so that they could leave.

"I never want to do that again. What were you thinking, Roy?" Ed and Roy were walking back to their normal beach.

"Umm… nothing…" Roy scratched the back of his head. _"I wanted to see you… Wow, I'm such a perv,"_ Roy thought.

The rest of the time at the beach wasn't that exciting except Ed made a sand castle, and then Roy threw him head first into it.

When it got dark they went home, got changed, read a little bit, and went to bed. Of course Roy asked Ed, "Are you sure you don't want to sleep with me?"

And Ed had said, "No, I've seen more then I wanted of you today."

Then they went to sleep.

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Bum Bum BUM! What will happen next? Nobody knows oOo! Sorry... I'm a little excited because my birthday is on Friday and I'm getting lots of Fullmetal Alchemist stuff! I'm getting the Edo plush and I will go insane from the cuteness! I'll hopefully update before my birthday because on my birthday I have so much stuff going on it's not even funny... TT it's all stuff that I don't feel like doing..._

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**To the reviewers! OMG! I almost have 50!**

**Angel-of-Music1331:** I believe this chapter will get me to the 50th review!

**Aeralis:** Of course they're cute together! That's why I continue to write! If it wasn't cute I would stop. O ya, the chapter popping out of nowhere thing, it happens often, some of my other friends say that... I wonder why...

**AnimeDutchess:** YAY! You think my fanfic is wonderful! I love the funny yaoi-ness and I will continue to write it!

**Mookie and Moofie:** Meh... I have to stop being so glad... It might break reality...


	18. The Beach House Part 3

**The Beach House (Part 3)**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Well, I didn't have a very good birthday. I got sick... I just go my Ed plush and it's so kawaii! This is the last part to the beach house thing and the end is a little disturbing, so don't say I didn't warn you!_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did, it would be wrong...**

Roy work up to Ed hitting him in the face with a pillow yelling, "Roy! I thought I told you I wouldn't sleep with you!"

"Huh? What are you doing in my room?" Roy said groggily. Then he looked around the room. "This isn't my room, is it?"

"No, it's mine. I woke up to see your face right in front of mine. Why did you get into bed with me?" Ed put his hands on his hips.

"I don't remember ever getting up. I guess I sleepwalked. I do that from time to time. Lat time, I ended up sleeping in Havoc's bed… that was very interesting and scary at the same time…" Roy got out of the bed. "I'm sorry if I scared you."

"No, it's ok. I was just surprised to see you sleeping next to me. That's all." Then Ed thought, _"I actually kind of liked it… good thing we're sleeping here for one more night…"_ Ed smiled at the thought.

Roy raised an eyebrow. "What are you smiling about?"

Ed came back to reality. "N-nothing! How about you leave my room so I can get dressed."

Roy shrugged and left._ "I think he enjoyed having me in his bed…"_

Ed came out after a few minutes in is normal clothes. He then got himself a bowl of Pipsqueak Crunchies for breakfast. Roy then walked into the kitchen, already in his swim shorts. "Let's go to the boardwalk today!" Roy announced to Ed.

"Sure, as long as there's no such thing as 'Nudist Boardwalks'. I can get a souvenir for Al." Ed had finished eating. "I guess I'll have to go change again…" Ed walked into his room to change.

Ed came back out in his swim shorts, and then said, "Well, let's go." Roy and Ed walked over to the boardwalk.

As Ed and Roy were looking at the games, Roy noticed something. "Why are there a bunch of prizes of you, me, the homunculi, and our friends?"

"You know, I was wondering the same thing. I also saw a book that looked like a documentary of Al's and my life… the book was called Fullmetal Alchemist. Do you think I have a stalker?" Ed started looking around to make sure no one was watching him.

Roy scrathed the back of his head. "Maybe… wait, look at that sign over there. It says 'Fullmetal Alchemist Convention'! Where isn't there a 'Flame Alchemist Convention'?"

Ed's started getting a big head about this. "Because I'm much more exciting than you! You just do paperwork all day." Ed looked into the distance and pointed ahead of him. "What is that cloud of dust over there?"

"It looks like a group of girls. I think they're rabid. Let's run for it." Roy grabbed Ed's wrist and ran as fast as he could.

"Quick, go to our beach house before they figure out our location!" Ed said as he ran ahead of Roy. He knew that most of the girls were after him.

When they got into the beach house, Roy said, "I think we should stay here for a while. Those girls are crazy."

"Yeah, what do you want to do until it's safe to go out again?" Ed flopped onto the couch.

"Let's have a make out session!" Roy yelled, throwing his arms into the air.

"No. there's no way you can make me do that. I'm still recovering from this morning." Ed transmuted his hair to green. "Here, we can dye our hair a different color, and the girls won't notice us." Ed handed Roy a bowl of hair dye.

"I don't know how to change the color of my hair with alchemy. Could you do it for me? Also, not a good idea to dye your hair green. The girls will think you're Envy."

"Good point." Ed changed his hair color to brown. "Okay, let me dye you're hair for you." Ed dyed Roy's hair to blonde. "You know, you look kind of like Russell, let's change your hair to red.

"It looks like my head's on fire." Roy didn't like his hair being red. "I never want to change my hair color ever again. You shouldn't do it again either."

"I'll try not to. Well, let's go." Ed and Roy went outside. "Let's just stay on the beach. The boardwalk's scary." Ed shuddered.

"Okay. I just wanted to get some ice cream, though…" Roy laid out a towel and sat down. Ed put up the beach umbrella.

"Fine, we'll get ice cream later." Then Ed came up with an idea. "Roy, you'll have to work for your ice cream. You have to put on your dress and skip around the beach yelling 'I'm a pretty little girl'. If you do that, you can get ice cream of your choice."

Roy sighed. "Awww, come on. Do I have to?"

"Yes, if you want ice cream."

"If you want to see me in a dress, we can go back to the beach house. There are a lot of people here…" Roy whined.

"No. I want everyone to see you in a dress. It'll make me happy."

"Why does your happiness depend on my pain or embarrassment?" Roy started to walk back towards the beach house.

After a few minutes, Roy walked back out in his dress. "Wait, hold on a minute." Ed dyed Roy's hair back to black. "Now, skip across the beach yelling 'I'm a pretty little girl'!"

Roy started doing a half-hearted kip, mumbling, "I'm a pretty little girl."

Then Ed yelled, "Louder! I can barely hear you!"

Roy then started skipping like he meant it and yelled, "I'm a pretty little girl!" He continued to do this.

Everyone on the beach was looking at him. Sadly, one person that was in the water was paying so much attention to Roy, that he didn't notice the shark. He got eaten and there was a very sad funeral a few days later.

Roy then started giggling like a giddy school girl still skipping and yelling, "I'm a pretty little school girl! I'm a pretty little school girl!"

Ed was laughing so hard that he passed out for a few minutes. When he woke up, Roy was laying next to him. "Can I have ice cream now?" Roy asked Ed. He was still in the dress.

Ed sat up. "Sure. Let's go." Ed first changed his hair color back to normal and then went to the boardwalk with Roy. When they got their ice cream, they got some weird looks from people, but no screaming old women this time. Keep in mind that Roy was in his dress the whole entire time.

When they got back to their house, it was almost dark out. They had a few plushes that they won too. Roy had given Ed a little stuffed heart that he got in a crane game.

When Ed and Roy got into their rooms to change into their pajamas, they each found a rabid girl in their room. The both threw the girls out the window. Keep in mind that their house is on stilts and Roy's room was on the second floor.

After they were done getting dressed, they went into the living room to read a little bit. Roy walked in wearing a satin night gown. "Roy, what are you wearing?" Ed asked.

"Oh, I forgot that I bought this the other day, and I remembered that I bought it, so I decided to wear it." Roy spread out on the couch and started to read.

"Fine…" Ed sat down in a chair and read.

After they were done reading, Roy asked like he did every night, "Are you sure you don't want to sleep with me?"

"No. I'm not sure if I don't want to sleep with you." Ed walked upstairs and into Roy's room.

Roy looked confused. "Okay…" Roy walked in after Ed.

"Just change into your normal pajamas first." Ed hopped onto one side of the bed.

"Oh, fine." Roy went into the bathroom and changed. After he was done, he came out and said, "Better?"

"Yes. I'm tired, let's go to sleep." Ed pulled a sheet over him and Roy got into the bed.

"Good night."

"Night."

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Oh the yaoi-ness! Ed finally decided he felt like being gay... Well, Ed and Roy will now be returning back home and Al will show up! Some of the homunculi will be there of couse too. I'll hopefully be un-sick soon! I'm sorry it take me so long to post now... stupid school..._

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**Yay! I got 50 reviews!**

**AnimeDutchess:** Thank you for wishing me a Happy Birthday even though it wasn't all that great... I dunno where I got the idea of the nudist beach though... just popped into my head like everything else...

**Angel-of-Music1331:** That's too bad that you stayed on your chair... I hope you liked this chapter more!

**mhnomi:** Aww! Kawaii! I now own the Edo plush and I luff it! (cough I sleep with it cough) I am an Edo fangirl too, I was secretly leading the army of rabid girls in the story

**Mookie and Moofie:** AHHH! I don't want to break your brain!

**Aeralis:** I saved the best for last. Congratulations! You are the 50th reviewer! For that you get a speical chapter or drawing from me. No one else will have this chapter or drawing! oOo! Just e-mail me telling me what you want and give me a pic to copy if you want a drawing! Doesn't matter how big the pic is! I'll be able to draw it! My e-mail address is in my profile!


	19. Last Day at the Beach!

**Last Day at the Beach**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist: They're finally going home! Nothing else to say, my life is full of boringness except according to like 3 friends, my name is Hagane No Chibi-san..._

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA!**

Roy woke up in the middle of the night to find Ed's arm over him. He didn't mind it that much until Ed's reflexes in his sleep grabbed him in a private area. Roy yelled, "Ahhhh! Ed!"

Ed immediately woke up saying, "What's wrong?"

"You just groped my in your sleep!"

Ed grimaced looking at his hand. He got out of bed and said, "Excuse me while I wash my hand."

When Ed walked back in, he saw Roy quickly hide something behind his back. "What are you hiding?"

"N-nothing…" Roy looked a little guilty.

Ed lunged at Roy and treid to get what was behind his back. "Gimmie it!" Ed finally got what was behind Roy's back. It was Ed's plush double, but it wasn't wearing the clothes it came with. The plush was wearing a little homemade red dress instead. Ed stared at it. "You can sew?"

Roy sweat dropped. "Yeah… you aren't mad about me putting your plush in a dress?"

Ed took out his plush of Roy it was in a dress also. It wasn't as good as the one Roy made, though. "I didn't get mad because I did the same thing."

"Oh. Maybe I should make a better dress for my plush double… what are you doing?" Roy was looking at Ed who was examining the his Ed plush.

"Wow, they got the automail really precise for a plush. The only way they could get any closer is if it was made of metal. You can make me a new dress for you plush double if you want to." Ed threw the Roy plush at Roy.

Roy caught it and said, "Hey don't throw me! I'll have a dress ready for you in a few days! I would have it done sooner, but I'll be going back to work tomorrow…"

Ed looks at the clock. "It's two in the morning, you realize. I'm still tired, so I'm going back to sleep." Ed hops back onto the bed and tries to fall back asleep.

"Fine." Roy get's back into the bed also. "Try not go grope me this time."

Ed mumbled, "I'll try."

A few hours later, Ed woke up, but Roy was still asleep. Roy was hugging Ed like a teddy bear. Ed couldn't get out. He just sat there hoping Roy would move, but he didn't. After about fifteen minutes of waiting, Ed decided to try and get out without waking Roy. It didn't work either because Roy had Ed in a death hug. _"Great now what do I do?"_ Ed thought.

Ed just sat there for another hour until Roy decided to roll over. H quickly jumped out of the bed just in case Roy decided to roll over again. _"Wow, he's a really heavy sleeper… Wait I think he's awake…"_ Ed shrugged and left the room to get breakfast.

After Ed left, Roy started moving because he was awake for the whole hour Ed was in the death hug. _"If Ed finds out I was awake the whole time I was hugging him, he'll kill me."_ Roy smiled, though because he enjoyed hugging Ed for an hour.

Roy got out of bed and walked into the kitchen. Ed was making pancakes. "Good morning, Ed."

"Morning. Don't do that again." Ed flipped a pancake.

Roy pretended to look confused. "Do what again?"

"Pretend you're sleeping and hug me for an hour." Ed put some pancakes on a plate and handed it to Roy. He then started making some for himself.

Roy took the plate. "Thanks." He then sweat dropped and said, "Heh… sorry, couldn't help myself."

"I was sitting there starving for an hour." Ed finished making himself pancakes and sat down with his plate of pancakes. He poured syrup on it and stared eating.

"I said I was sorry. There are really good pancakes. When did you learn to cook?" Roy continued to eat.

"Oh, when our mother died, Al all of a sudden wanted pancakes a lot. So I learned how to make them. Of course it was before we performed the human transmutation.

That's about the only think I can cook well."

"Oh. Hey, you want to go wreak havoc on the beach?" Roy had finished and put his plate in the sink.

"In what way?" Ed had finished also.

"We put our dresses on and run around like maniacs on the beach."

"Sure, why not? It's not like anyone we know is going to be on the beach." Ed got up and went to his room and got dressed. Roy did, too.

After they got dressed, they went down to the beach. The got very weird looks from everyone on that beach, but not as weird as the looks that they got five minutes later.

They were running, skipping, and yelling random things. "Wow, this is fun!" Ed yelled to Roy.

"I know! Although, I saw a kid crying when he saw us." Roy pointed at a crying little boy.

He was saying to his mom, "Mommy, those guys are scaring me!" Both of them heard his mom saying, "Don't look at them. They're weird."

Ed and Roy didn't care what anyone said until they saw Al and Winry. They quickly ran back to their house, but not quick enough. Al had spotted them and told Winry. Winry took out her wrench and threw it across the beach at Ed's head, it was far, but it still hit it's target. Ed was knocked out and Roy just stood over Ed, then looked at Winry, then back at Ed, looking scared. Roy ran for his life.

Winry and Al had made it over to Ed just as he was gaining consciousness. Ed saw Al and Winry standing over him and he was really scared.

"Nii-san, why are you and Roy in dresses?" Al was greatly disturbed to see his brother in a dress.

Ed just sat there thinking of an excuse, and then started waving around his arms saying, "This is all a dream! I'm actually not wearing a dress, in fact, we aren't even at the beach!"

"Nice try, Ed, but you are wearing a dress at the beach. Stop acting like an idiot. Now why are you really in a dress?" Winry said,putting her hands on her hips.

Ed mumbled something almost inaudible, "Because it's fun to wear a dress…"

Al and Winry were utterly shocked. "Nii-san, are you gay?"

Ed just mumbled something that nobody understood.

Winry took out her wrench looking very threatening. "What did you say, Ed?" Winry was swinging around the wrench on her finger.

Ed just stood up and ran as fast as his little bean sprout legs could take him.

Winry tried throwing the wrench at Ed, but he dodged it this time. Ed had made it to his beach house and closed and locked the door. Roy was already in there with his normal clothes on. "Ed, quickly put your normal clothes on so that they might forget about the dress thing." Roy threw Ed's clothes at him.

Ed caught the clothes and ran into the bathroom. In about one minute, he came out, unlocked the door, and made it look like nothing out of the ordinary.

Ed was reading an alchemy book and Roy was making a late lunch.

Al and Winry burst through the door. Winry was really out of breath. "Ed… Where's Ed?"

Roy pointed towards Ed, who was laying on the couch reading. "Oh, hey Winry!"

"Ed, where's your dress?" Winry took our her wrench.

Ed pretended to look confused. "What dress? I don't know what you're talking about."

"But nii-san, I just saw you in a dress five minutes ago. I also saw Roy in a dress, too." Al was getting slightly confused.

"Nope. Me and Roy were in here the whole day. We had to pack our stuff so that we could go home. We couldn't even go swimming today. We were going to go back home after we had lunch."

Al and Winry just gave up. Ed would tell them when he wanted them to know. "Well, lunch's ready! I made some for you too, Winry." Roy handed a bowl of ramen soup to everyone. Al just started wandering around the house while they ate.

After they were done, Ed and Roy went into their rooms, quickly packed their bags, and hid all things that showed their relationship with each other from Al and Winry.

Winry had to go on a train since she lived in the opposite direction. When Ed, Al and Roy got back to East Central, they went up to their apartments.

As soon as Ed and Al got into their apartment, Al asked Ed, "So what did you do with Roy?"

"Nothing," Ed said while unpacking.

"Fine, don't tell me anything." Al crossed his arms.

"Fine, I won't. Here's a gift." Ed took out a cat plush from the beach and handed it to Al.

"Thank you, nii-san!" Al started hugging the plush.

Ed smiled. "You sould thank Roy. He won it."

"I will tomorrow!"

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Awwww! Isn't Roy so nice? Anyway, I'm sorry I'm taking forever to post... I'll try harder to post more often, but school and marching band are getting in the way! Yay! Oh, the wonderfulness of band and school..._

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**My Reviewers!**

**Aeralis:** Well, you still have to tell me a few more things on what you want in the picture! Don't kill yourself trying to decide either, I don't want to clean any blood off of my wall...

**AnimeDutchess:** Yes, I know... Well, I will be seeing _The Corpse Bride_ So I'm extremly estatic! O.O I'm a genius! Since when! I feel special... .

**Mookie and Moofie:** I'm sorry, but I'm not having anyone that isn't in the anime already in this fan fiction... I might be writing another one eventually with made up characters... wether I have the time or not is a different matter, though... so busy!


	20. Niisan, Can I Spend a Day With You?

**Nii-san, Can I Spend a Day with You?**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: This chapter took me forever to write... I'm sorry in advance for it being huge... I thought I could do it all in one part, I did, but it's freaking huge! There is very slight language, but nothing bad at all... That is why it's rated 'T' ! Just in case some bad word slips... anyway, sorry for the delay, I'm afraid for my safety, I might have evil penguin armies and such after me soon..._

**Disclaimer: I don't own the wonderful show called Fullmetal Alchemist! I don't own the manga either! I don't own any of the stores mentioned here except for Loincloth Emporium! Woo!**

It was six o'clock in the morning and Ed's alarm clock was going off. "Mehhh… snarfle garfle, damn alarm clock…" Ed was groaning when he was woken up from his very nice dream with Roy in it… let's stop there.

Al got up immediately since he technically didn't even have to sleep. He just sleeps to pass the time when everyone else is sleeping. "Snarffle garffle? What's that?"

Ed just groaned as a reply and smashed his clock to bits with his automail arm. Then, he rolled over and went back to sleep. Al walked over to Ed and started shaking him gently to wake him up. "Nii-san, get up. You have to go to work."

Ed just mumbled random stuff and sat up. He walked over to his dresser and put his clothes on. "Nii-san, you put your shirt on backwards."

He tried to look down to see what he did wrong and accidentally got a mouthful of collar. Ed unclasped his shirt, turned it around, and put it back on. As Ed transmutes his alarm clock back to normal, Al asked, "Nii-san, can I spend a day with you?"

"Sure. Do you want to just come along with me to work, or do you want me to take a day off tomorrow and go do whatever?" Ed walked over to the cabinet to see if there was anything he could have for breakfast. There was a box of Pipsqueak Crunchies in the cabinet.

"Umm… Let's do it tomorrow, going to work with you would be boring." Al was watching Ed eat the bowl of cereal so quick, that it made him sick. Al looked away as Ed was emptying the contents of his stomach onto the floor. "Nii-san, I know you're in a hurry, but you shouldn't make yourself sick…"

After Ed was done, he said, "Yeah, well, I'm going to be late for work!" Ed ran out the door. "Bye, Al!"

_"Wow, Al really doesn't know when I go to work, I'm going an hour early and he didn't notice,"_ Ed thought wile walking down to Roy's office. When Ed got to Roy's office, he heard Roy talking to Riza.

"You have to do your paperwork!" Riza was yelling at Roy… again.

"But I don't want to! Paperwork is so boring!"

"You were on vacation for three days! You have to get back to work!" Ed heard a gunshot, then Roy whimpering.

Riza went to the door to leave. Ed was standing outside the door and went in as Riza was leaving.

When Ed go into the room, he saw Roy in the corner with his hands over his head, whimpering. There was a bullet hole in the wall above him. "S-scary…"

"Didn't feel like doing paperwork, huh?" Ed put his hands on his hips.

Roy took his hands off of his head and said, "No, not really, but Hawkeye is in a really bad mood today. She usually doesn't shoot at me… just threatens."

"Well, I'm taking the day off tomorrow! I'm spending a day with Al." Ed then offered a hand to help Roy up.

Roy took his hand and got up. "Thanks. Do you have to go? I don't want to be shot! If you leave for a day, I might die!"

Ed felt truly sorry for Roy. "I'm so sorry! I haven't been spending enough time with Al, though. I don't want him to think I ditched him for you! I have to be a good brother."

Roy sat behind his desk and offered Ed the chair on the other side of the desk. Ed sat, and Roy said, "Yeah, you're right. I don't have any sibling, so I really wouldn't know. By the way, here's your mission." Roy handed Ed a folder.

Ed looked in the folder, then said, "Envy's confusing people again?"

"Yes, this time he's confusing military personnel by turning into Gran. They think he came back from the dead to haunt them. Also, why did you come here so early?" Roy leaned forward on his desk and rested his head on his hands.

"Because I wanted to see you…" Ed got up, walked over to Roy and swiftly kissed him on the cheek. "See ya!" Ed left the room, with Roy stupidly sitting there with his hand on the spot where Ed kissed him.

The mission was pretty ordinary. Ed yelled at Envy, and Envy yelled at Ed. Ed walked out with a black eye because he called Envy a girl.

After that, Ed went home and went to bed.

**The Next Day**

Ed was furiously poked away by Al. "Nii-san! Get up! It's seven o'clock! Let's go!"

Ed groaned and mumbled, "Five more minutes…"

"Fine." Al patiently waited over Ed for five minutes for him to wake up. As soon as five minutes passed, Al poked Ed again. "Okay, nii-san! It's been five minutes! Go take a shower and get dressed!"

Al started shaking Ed since there was no response from him. Ed's head just flopped around with a tired, dazed look on his face. Then he started groaning, "O-o-okay-y-y… s-s-stop-p-p sh-sha-a-aking-g-g-g-g m-m-m-me-e-e…"

"Oops! Sorry!" Al stopped shaking Ed so that he could get ready.

After Ed was done showering and getting dressed, he asked Al, "So, what do you want to do?"

"Hmmm… first we can go shopping, then we can go fishing, then we can visit Winry, and then…"

Ed cut him off by saying, "Ahh! Too much stuff! We have only one day, you know. Pick one or two things!"

"Oh, erm… let's go shopping first. I need a few new loincloths, and then we can get a cat!" Al cheered.

"No kitty. I can get you a plush kitty if you want."

Al was disappointed. "Aww… I wanted a really kitty, and I already have a kitty plush."

"Start a collection. Now let's go!" Ed started to walk out, and Al followed behind.

"Wow, where did this giant building that says 'Mall' on it come from?" Ed was in awe and confused at the same time.

"I dunno, but I'm sure it'll have everything we need."

Ed shrugged and walked in. he looked at the map to see where Al could buy loincloths. "Here, Al. There's a store called 'Loincloth Emporium'… that's a funny name…" Ed pointed at the store on the map.

"Okay, let's go!" Al started walking towards the store.

Ed followed, looking around at the stores at the same time. He saw a Spencer's and decided he would go into it later… maybe.

When they got to the store, they were the only ones in there, besides the cashier. The cashier saw Al and started to hide behind the desk, afraid of the seven and a half foot tall armor in the store. "Nii-san, did you find any purple ones?"

"No, but I found pink. You want that?" Ed held it up, laughing a little. It was about half the size of Ed's whole body.

"No! I don't want pink!" Al took the loincloth Ed was holding and threw it back at his face. Al continued to search while Ed was being stupid and holding up girly looking ones. "Here's purple! Let's buy it and go!"

Ed took the two loincloths Al was holding and bought them. "Where do you want to go now?" Then Ed's stomach growled.

"Looks like you're hungry. Let's go eat… well, you go eat." They found the food court pretty easily, and Ed got some teriyaki chicken.

"I want to go into my own stores for about half an hour. You can look around and get whatever you want. Here's $40." Ed handed Al the money and Al put it in the pouch on his leg.

"Okay, I'll see you later." Al got up and headed towards Hot Topic for some reason.

_"Well, I guess I'll go to Spencer's, and then go to Victoria's Secret…"_ Ed thought, getting up and throwing out his garbage.

Ed headed to Spencer's, walked in, saw a few things in the back of the store, was grossed out, and left. _"Eww… I'm never going in there again… too many references to sex…"_

He walked into Victoria's Secret, and he was Roy in there looking at thongs. Ed scared the crap out of him. "Hey, Colonel! Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Ahh! I wasn't looking at those! Well, actually, I was, but it's for Riza's birthday present!" Roy was talking really fast, with his voice getting higher and higher as he talked.

"Sure… you don't get girls underwear for their birthday. Especially Riza. I don't even want to know what you were really doing." Ed walked over to the night gowns.

"What, are you buying yourself new pajamas?" Roy stood next to Ed.

"No, Winry's birthday is in a week. I have to get her something. I assume Al's getting her something, also." Ed continued to search the rack as Al passed by the store. He saw Ed with Roy, in Victoria's Secret, looking at nightgowns. He knew he didn't want to know what was going on.

"Ed, I think your brother just walked pass. He looked shocked. You should go find him and tell him what was really happening or he'll tell Winry some crazy story…"

"Great… well, what do you think of this?" Ed held up a pink tank top and short set. "I didn't find any good nightgowns, but I saw this and I thought she would like it."

Roy mumbled to himself, "It would look better on you…"

"What was that?"

Roy sweat dropped. "Nothing! I think it's nice. Do you think you could find a shirt with a wrench on it and wrench print on the shorts? I think she'll love that!" Roy laughed.

"As a matter of fact, there are." Roy stopped laughing as Ed held up exactly what Roy had described. The shorts had a pink background and the shirt was white.

"I was just joking, but I think she'll love it. Go buy it so that we can go." Ed went up to the cash register and Roy followed.

"Now, I have to find Al… he shouldn't be too hard to fine." Ed and Roy were searching around until Ed found him in the pet store, petting the cats.

Al heard someone behind him and turned around. "Hi, nii-san. Hello, Colonel."

"Hi. Did you get a present for Winry? Her birthday's in a week." Ed held up the Victoria's Secret bag. "By the way, I wasn't in there to buy stuff for myself. It was to buy some pajamas for Winry. I had found Roy earlier and he was helping me look."

"Oh, good. I was pretty freaked out when I saw you with Roy in that store." Al slapped himself in the head. "I completely forgot that Winry's birthday's next week! What do you think I should get her?"

"I dunno, but you better find something quick." Ed noticed Al had a Hot Topic bag. "What did you get from there?"

"Oh! I got this cute keychain of me. I was annoyed because it said it was a robot keychain. Although, I'm not sure what a robot it… well, I guess I'll get her something from Abercrombie & Fitch…" Al headed towards the store, leaving Roy and Ed alone.

"So what should we do now, while your brother is looking for a present?" Roy asked Ed.

"You know, you never answered why you weren't at work today… How'd you get out alive?"

Roy was thinking, _"I was stalking you,"_ but he said, "I felt like taking another day off. Riza shot at me a few times, and she grazed my arm…" Roy lifted up his sleeve to show a bandage.

Ed laughed, and then said, "I'm kind of hungry. Let's get something to eat!"

"No, I saw you eating like an hour ago. No food for you."

"Awww… I need pants… we have to go over to the leather store." Ed headed towards the leather store and Roy followed.

"What size are you? I could help you," Roy asked.

"I'm a size 32…" Ed was searching through the rack.

"Wow… that's really… small…" Roy prepared himself for the spazing.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PINT-SIZED SHRIMP?" Ed automatically spazed without thinking, and accidentally knocked over a clothes rack. It hit a huge biker guy.

Roy quickly ran over and put the rack upright with the giant guy leering at him. Everyone was staring at Ed and Roy wondering what had happened. Ed went back to normal, found some pants, paid for them, and left. He forgot about Roy was getting death rays from just about everyone in the store.

Roy had finally edged out of the store, and he found Ed at the food court eating French fries. "You eat way too much. I'm surprised you don't weigh 300 pounds."

"I exercise everyday, so I need to eat a lot. Where were you?"

"Avoiding being killed by bikers because you spazed." Roy showed a huge bruise on his arm. "I'm lucky I came out with only a bruise on my arm."

Al finally came out of the store with a bag filled with clothes. "Geez, Al, how much did you get her?"

"Is this too much? Then again, I also got you some clothes…" Al showed Ed a shirt that looked skin-tight for Ed. He had gotten Winry a blue tube top and a belt.

"Al, this shirt looks really tight… my chest might be constricted from wearing it…" Ed looked through the bag some more and saw some plain normal jeans. "I like the pants, though. I think Winry will like the shirt." Ed showed Roy the pants, then threw them into the bag.

Roy whispered to Ed, "I think you would look very nice in that shirt…" Then smiled, showing that he was joking.

But Ed yelled, "Perv!" anyway.

Ed looked at his watch and said, "It's pretty late, Al. I don't think we'll be able to do anything else. Let's go home."

Roy drove them home since it was getting dark. Al just barely fit in the car, and Ed sat in the front since he would have been impaled by a spike on Al's shoulder.

They went back to their apartments. While they were walking back, Roy slipped his hand into Ed's while they were walking behind Al. Roy almost got killed by Riza when he got to the door of his apartment.

When Ed and Al got into their apartment, Ed said, "Next week you should go visit Winry. I won't be able to come because I've missed enough work."

"Okay. I'll call her tomorrow. It's too late now. In fact, you should be getting ready for bed." Then Al took some boxers out of the Abercrombie & Fitch bag and threw them at Ed. "I got these for you, also."

Ed caught them. "Uhh… thanks… I guess I'll sleep in these…" Ed went into the bathroom, changed, came out, and went to bed.

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Awww... Ed kissed Roy on the cheek! Anyway, I'm sorry once again for the long delay... and for the chapter being huge... I don't know what I'm going to do for the next chapter, maybe just Ed doing something stupid at work... I know that a few chapters later it'll be Al going to Winry's for her birthday!_

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**I think people are starting to hate me... I only had two reviews for the long time that I didn't post for... (cries)**

**Mookie and Moofie:** Woo! Have fun with that!

**AnimeDutchess:** I dunno, I think having Al and Winry there was better instead of Riza or the Furher... I don't like the Furher anyway... he scares me with his eyepatch of doom... (I'm thinking of stuff that happens at the end... yes I saw the whole anime)... The Corpse Bride was awesome! It was a musical, which I didn't expect, but it was good all the same...


	21. Practical Jokes

**Practical Jokes**

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Sorry about the long wait! My computer went all stupid and the operating system had to be reinstalled... I also can't have AIM or MSN instant messenger anymore! (dies) If you wish to contact me, just e-mail me! I love getting random e-mails from people who like my fanfic! I might get my instant messengers back later... until then, just e-mailme! Oh, yeah, I don't want people asking me to turn my fic into a lemon because I refuse to. I already had I think three or four people ask me to change it into a lemon. My fic is rated 'T' not 'M'! No lemons! Enough of my complaining... the end of this chapter will make you go 'Aww! That's so sweet!' or something along the lines of that... Weee!_

**Disclaimer:I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! If I did, it would be a Yaoi... XD**

Roy was procrastinating, yet again, on his paperwork. He was cleaning his windows. All of a sudden, Havoc was upside down in front of his window. Roy freaked out and snapped his fingers before he realized who it was. Lucky for Havoc, Roy didn't have his gloves on. "Hello, Colonel. How are you doing on this lovely morning?"

"WHAT THE HELL! WHY ARE YOU OUTSIDE MY WINDOW?" Roy opened up the window, smacking Havoc in the face in the process. Havoc was hanging from a bungee cord, five stores above.

"I was bored. I also wanted to see if Fullmetal was here. I was told to give him this message." Havoc handed Roy a note. "So how are you today, sir?"

Roy took the note, then growled, "Go away. Now."

Havoc shrugged, tugged on the cord he was hanging from, and saluted while he was being pulled up to the window he jumped out of. Roy put a hand to his forehead thinking, _"What a way to start a day… hopefully, it'll get better."_

The door then opened showing Ed with singed hair. "Kill Havoc for me, please."

Roy couldn't help but laugh. Ed's antenna was still on fire, so Roy put it out. "What happened to you?"

"Havoc decided to set my head on fire. I'm guessing he asked Al if he could go inside of him to pull the prank on me because Al was next to me walking down to your office. Next thing I know, my head was on fire. I heard laughing from inside Al that sounded an awful lot like Havoc."

"Wow, that's worse than what he did to me about ten minutes ago. He decided to visit me by bungee jumping out of a window. Oh, yeah, he told me to give you this note." Roy handed Ed the note.

Ed took it and read it. As he read it, his face went more and more into a look of disgust. "Roy, please tell me this isn't true…"

"What?" Roy took the note from Ed and looked as disgusted as Ed did. "I defiantly did not write that. I'm just wondering how they found out about us being together…"

The note said:

_**Dear Ed,**_

_**I want to make love to you all night long. Please come to my apartment tonight to have some fun! Bring that sexy dress with you, also. Don't worry, if you're tired in the morning, we can both take the day off and make out for the whole day.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Roy**_

"I hope you didn't write this! I would be scared to go near you ever again. Now can we kill Havoc?"

"No, but we can set something up that can make it look like he killed and/or maimed himself." Roy was already plotting.

Ed had a huge, evil smile on his face. "You know, maybe we shouldn't kill him, but we can just set up something really stupid like coating his office floor with super glue. Then we can push him over with a pole, or something like that, and he'll stick to the ground."

"Great idea! Let's do it! Where are we going to find all of that super glue? I already have a pole in my office so that we can push him over."

Ed stood there and thought for a moment. "I dunno, but I'm sure the homunculi will have some."

Ed then ran out of the room in search of Lust, Envy, or Wrath. Roy followed, but he wasn't running because when Havoc popped up in front of the window, Roy had smacked his knee against the windowsill.

After about five minutes, Ed and Roy had found Wrath. He didn't have anything except for a wheel of cheese. "Wrath, why do you have a wheel of cheese?"

"Ask me no questions, I tell you no lies. Maybe you can use the cheese to lure Havoc. Use it as bait so he'll go into the room. I believe Envy has super glue. He uses it a lot to cause problems for the military. I believe he's at the mall right now. He said something about having a hole in his skort and buying some new ones…" Wrath said.

"Thank you. We really appreciate it. See you later!" Ed waved to Wrath, and then ran off to the mall. Poor Roy couldn't take all the running much longer. He's used to sitting around all day, plus his knee hurt.

They go tot the mall and Roy was about to collapse. "Geez, Roy, you need to exercise more. You're slower than Al."

"Sorry, with the job of sitting in an office and signing paperwork all day, I don't have time to exercise. I don't get to go on active missions like you do."

"Well, it's not my fault that you're almost twice as old as I am!" Ed stopped for a minute and thought of something. "You know, our relationship is almost illegal… it sounds wrong saying that I like a guy that's twice as old as I am."

"Yeah, you're right… who cares? Where do you think Envy will be?" Roy walked over to the mall map to get a general idea.

Ed followed suit and saw a store called the Oroborus Shop. "I think he'll be there. Let's go!" Ed grabbed Roy's hand and ran over to the store.

Envy was in there looking at skorts. He was currently wearing a white skort, but still wearing his black belly shirt. "Hello Chibi! Hi Colonel! Why are you here?"

"Just one question before we tell you, why are you wearing a white skort?" Roy asked as Ed was yelling about the comment on his height.

"Well, I got caught on a tree resulting in my black skort ripping. The other ones got ripped to at various times. That's why I'm at this store right now looking at the skort rack… So why are you here?"

"Well, we need super glue, and lots of it. We're planning on gluing Havoc to the floor. We were hoping you had some." Roy was looking at the few random things in the store.

"I have super glue, but it wouldn't be very effective. That stuff dries fast, too fast to pull off something like that. You should look for a sticky rug. I believe they sell them in the hardware store next to the mall. You lay it down like a carpet and it's sticky like duct tape. It's really cheap to because nobody wants a sticky floor. About $10 a square yard. Can I help though?" Envy smiled.

"Sure, why not? You're been a big help so far. Maybe you can help us some more. Just finish getting your clothes, you look weird in white." Roy beckoned Ed to him. "Ed, you don't need anything from the mall, right?"

"Nope, I don't need anything. Can we go now?"

"Wait a minute for Envy. He's going to help us. Don't give me that face, he's been really helpful so far."

Ed crossed his arms with a scowl on his face. "I don't like Envy. If it was possible, I would like him to die and burn in hell."

"I heard that!" Envy yelled at Ed while he was making his purchases.

"Good! I hate you! Go away!" Ed took Roy's hand and dragged him out of the store. Envy followed with his bag and an annoyed look on his face.

The made it over to the hardware store and bought the carpet. Then the made their way to the office building. Roy thought if was best to put the trap in Havoc's office since Havoc is obviously in there a lot. Envy had to disguise as Fury so no one would suspect a thing.

The got to Havoc's office and saw Fury in there. Envy quickly changed his form to Farman so that Fury wouldn't be freaked out. Poor Ed was carrying the giant roll of sticky carpet, almost falling over from the weight and height of it. Fury left, but not without looking at Roy, Ed and "Farman" weirdly. "Okay, the coast is clear! We have to do this quickly before Havoc comes back." Roy ran in followed by Ed and Envy.

Ed dropped the carpet onto the ground and rolled it out. There was a wax paper sheet to make sure the carpet wasn't sticky until you peeled the paper off. The three of them pulled the paper off, but in the wrong direction. They got themselves trapped in a corner. "Wow. We're stupid. We should've started at the other side of the room. Not at the door!" Ed slapped Roy upside the head because Roy was the one that started to peel it in the first place.

There were right by a window, but about ten stories off the ground. "Well, we could jump out of the window…"

"I'm sorry Roy, but I can't fly!" There was a table next to them and Ed started hitting Roy with a book that was on the table.

Envy just rolled his eyes and changed back to his normal form. Then he slapped both of them and said, "Beating each other isn't going to help, no matter how amusing it is. Maybe Ed could transmute a ladder outside the window and climb down. Either that, or Ed could transmute a path and put it back after we get through."

Both of them froze and just blinked at Envy's smartness. "I can't believe I didn't think of that…" Ed clapped his hands and transmuted a path across the room. After they got through, Ed transmuted it back. Then they saw that Havoc had just go to the top of the stairs and coming their way.

Roy hissed in Ed's ear, "I forgot to bring the pole so I could push him over!"

"Crap… Envy! Turn into a lightbulb!"

"Wha? ...okay." Envy then turned into Lightbulb!Envy.

Ed grabbed Lightbulb!Envy and rand down the hall so Havoc wouldn't see them. When he went into his office, he started cursing because he was stuck to the floor. Ed and Roy ran back down the hall to see Havoc with his feet stuck to the floor. Then, Ed took Lightbulb!Envy and flung it at Havoc's head, causing Envy to bounce off and get stuck to the floor as well. Havoc lost his balance and had his face stuck to the floor.

Envy changed back and he was on his back, stuck to the floor. "Ed you idiot! You didn't tell me you were going to throw me!"

"Oops! Did I forget to mention that?" Ed said sarcastically. "Let's go, Roy. It'll take a while until they will be able to get up. The stickiness should wear off in a week…"

As they were leaving they heard Havoc yelling, "MI HAFF MO MEE!" the translation of that was "I HAVE TO PEE!"

Then they heard Envy yell, "DON'T GO IN HERE!"

"I'd have to say that was a lot of fun, although you should really do something about your hair…" Roy poked Ed's burnt antenna.

"No! Don't poke it! It might… break off…" As Ed was saying that, most of his antenna broke off and fell to the floor.

Roy gasped and said, "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do that!"

Ed sighed and said, "Its okay, it'll grow back… It'll just take a few weeks…"

They walked back into Roy's office and found a new stack of paperwork on top of the stack of old papers. "You know, I didn't join the military to sign papers all day!"

Ed felt sorry for Roy, so he jumped into his arms and hugged him. Ed looked up and smiled at Roy saying, "Its okay, I could help you. All you have to do is sign your name. I'll fill everything else out. You'll probably have to fill out more paperwork for the little prank we pulled…"

"Thanks, but I'm not sure how much you would be able to fill out, but I'm defiantly not looking forward to filling out the extra paperwork." Roy then kissed Ed on the top of his head, and then headed over to his desk to start his paperwork.

Ed sat next to him filling out the paperwork. "I'm so happy I don't need to do this everyday…"

Roy looked at Ed with a face of slight hate and said, "I would be a whole lot happier if I got to do more active missions like you… in fact, I don't even do missions that much."

"Well, maybe they'll let you come with me next time if I ask. Although, I'm not sure if you would be able to keep up…" Ed smirked.

Roy sighed and said, "Hey! My knee hurt this morning! I would've been faster if it wasn't for that!" There were a few minutes of silence except for the scratching of pens. Then Roy said, "You know, I just thought of something. We've liked each other for this long, but neither of us has asked each other out."

"You're right… we just started liking each other all of a sudden, but we actually aren't going out with each other… how strange."

Roy then cleared his throat and said in a slightly stupid voice, "Edward, will you go out with me?"

Ed followed suit with the stupid voice and said, "Oh yes, Roy, I shall." Then they burst out laughing.

A few hours later, they quite a bit accomplished with a few laughs along they way, but Ed's shift is over before Roy's so Ed was going to go back to his apartment. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow!" Ed walked towards the door to leave, stopped at the door, and turned around. Then he ran towards Roy, leaned over they desk, kissed Roy on the lips, said "I love you!" and ran out.

Roy just sat there stupefied, wondering what just happened. Then he muttered, "I love you, too," and went back to his work.

_Fullmetal-Alchemist10: I hoped you liked that! If you didn't then just stop reading this fic now because you obviously don't like shounen-ai/yaoi... The next chapter Ed gets bored and decides to have a party! (I already started writing it...) The next chapter should be out really soon!_

**Edit:** I forgot to add this, but the Lightbulb!Envy was an idea taken from a Crack!Fic that I read. Oh, yeah. If you want to e-mail me, my address is in my profile! Just go there and click on the e-mail thingy... if for some reason you can't obtain it, I'll re-type it in my profile because I can't post it here... 

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**To the ever shrinking number of reviewers! (cries)**

**AnimeDutchess:** The Corpse Bride was wonderful! I loved the movie! I know of a wonderful site were you can download the whole FMA series! Anyone can e-mail me if they want the site!

**Cathelina:** Roy almost got killed when he went back to his room... poor guy. Riza would never actually kill him though...

**Aeralis:** Well, I hoped you like Ed kissing Roy on the lips I mean you spazed when Ed kissed him on the cheek... It's ok that you didn't review... My chapters keep on getting longer and longer... I'll just eventually have like 5000 word chapters (dies)... o well, I'll continue this fic as long as people still like it!

**SesshyGirlFluffy:** (falls over) AHH! CAPS ATTACK! It's wonderful that you don't hate me but the caps can kill...


	22. I'm Bored, Let's Have a Party!

**I'm Bored, Let's Have a Party!**

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** (cries) I'm the meanest person on the face of the Earth! I haven't updated in over two weeks because of my laziness! Okay, I'm done with my episode. I had a wonderful Halloween and I was Edward Elric. Nobody recognized who I was the whole night I was trick-or-treating except for my friends... I had one guy call me a fricken butler... Marching Band season is almost over, so I shall be typing a little more often very soon (I hope). This chapter has a very minor spoiler to Episode 25, but all of you people have probably already saw that episode. It's a teeny bit sad, and it's not fall off your chair funny... when I wrote this I had a writer's block... I will now stop rambling until the end of the chapter, thank you for your time..._

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist...blah...blah...blah...

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It was a normal morning at East Central Headquarters until Ed decided he was bored and wanted a party. He made lots of signs for a party and put them up all around the headquarters building. Roy was one of the first people to see the signs since Ed posted about ten of them in his office. "Ed, why is the location not at your apartment?"

Ed was randomly dancing around Roy's office with the stack of signs posting them up every three inches. "Because my apartment is a mess."

Roy sighed, "They problem is, is that my apartment is a mess, too. I just got a house and I'm starting to pack so I can movie into my house."

"You're moving out? That means we won't be able to see each other as much… What am I going to do about the party?"

"Don't worry about it. The house is big, so you can move in if you wish. There's enough room that Al could have his own room. I'll try to clean up my apartment as much as I can and get some food. You have to get food too and some entertainment."

A big smile appeared on Ed's face. "Really? I can live with you? That would be great! What should I get for entertainment?"

"I dunno, but think of something quick. You were the genius that scheduled the party for tonight! How about you get Envy as entertainment?"

Ed thought for a moment, but then remembered that they stuck Envy to the floor. "Isn't Envy still stuck to the floor of Havoc's office?"

"No, I saw him walking out the building this morning when I was coming to work. I wonder if Havoc got out as well… anyway, you should try and call Envy." Roy handed Ed the phone.

After a few minutes, Ed hung up. "Well, he agreed almost against his will. I was thinking that we could play a dressing game of guessing Envy's gender. Most of the military thinks that Envy is a girl, so it' going to be hilarious. I already know he's a guy of course from a certain dress incident…" Ed shuddered from that memory.

"That's a great idea. Now, how about you go put the posters somewhere other than my room!" Ed was posting the millionth poster as Roy was saying this. Roy's office was now just about wallpapered with the posters.

"Heh… sorry. I also thought that this party would be a great opportunity to tell everyone that we're going out… they will find out eventually. Winry already knows and I'm pretty sure Al knows too from the whole beach thing…" Ed was walking towards the door to leave.

"Yeah we really should. We don't want weird rumors spreading…" Roy sighed. Then he said, "You should get going. You have to post posters, buy food, and help me clean my apartment."

"Okay, bye! I'll see you later!" Ed hugged Roy, then left.

Ed laughed to himself. _"Roy looks so funny when I hug or kiss him… I'll post a few more posters, and then go to the supermarket…"_

Ed posted up posters near the entrance to the building, then went to the supermarket and bought some party food. After he was done, he came back to Roy's office to tell him he was done. "Roy, you have to clean your apartment now. I'm not going to do it all myself, and the party is in four hours."

Ed had walked into his office without knocking thinking that he was alone, procrastinating. He was actually at Riza's gunpoint actually doing his paperwork. "Not now Ed. I'll be shot if I don't do my work. How about you start cleaning, and I'll join you in one to two hours."

Ed shrugged and left saying, "Okay, see you later." He made his way down to Roy's apartment to start cleaning. He let himself in and the mess wasn't too bad. Roy just forgets to put his clothes in the laundry. All Ed had to do was pick up the clothes and he was done. _"Looks like Roy packed some of his stuff… the closet's full of boxes."_

After about an hour and a half of doing nothing for Ed, Roy came in with a few bags of chips. "Oh, you're already done cleaning?"

"Yeah, took me half an hour at most. Let's set up. The party starts in two hours. Envy called and said he was coming an hour before the party." Ed stretched, and then got up from the couch.

"Okay. That shouldn't take too long. Oh yeah, here's your plush. I finished the dress on it." Roy handed Ed the little plush version of himself. The dress on it was very detailed.

"Aww, it looks really cute. Good job on the dress. Let me go put this in my apartment. Be right back."

Ed walked down the hall to his apartment. Al was coming down the hall at the same time with a stack of books.

Ed hid the plush from Al's view. "Hello, Al! What are all the books for?"

"Oh, just some more alchemy books. I couldn't get too many since you weren't with me, but I have enough for a week…" Al noticed that Ed was hiding something. "What's that behind your back, nii-san?"

Ed's face turned red as he said, "Nothing at all! There's nothing behind my back!" Ed quickly transmuted the dress into a military uniform.

Al placed the books on the ground and tried to get what was behind his back before he was done transmuting it. "What were you doing to this Roy plush?"

"Nothing, now can I have it back?" Ed snatched the plush from Al.

Al went back and picked up the books then went into the apartment. Ed waited until he went in, and then transmuted the clothes back to the way they were. He quickly ran into the room and threw the plush under his bed before Al could notice. "Al, did you see the posters for the party that me and Roy are throwing?"

"Yeah, I'll be going, of course."

"Good. Just so that you know, Roy bought a house and he's moving. He said that we can live with him. There's more than enough room for us. What do you say? Shall we move?" Ed was very hopeful, but he was sure his brother would say yes.

"Sure, why not? It would be great to move out of this little apartment. It's kind of crowded with how big I am… I'll start packing my stuff before I got to the party, unless you need help setting up…"

"Yay! I was hoping you would say yes. I think me and Roy can handle it ourselves, but if we do need you, I'll come down and get you." Ed smiled and left.

Al sighed, "I was kind of hoping he did need help… it gets kind of boring being alone… I'll go down to the party early…"

Ed ran into Roy's apartment and hugged him. "We're going to move in with you! Al agreed!"

"That's wonderful! Now, could you help me put up these streamers? I need you to hand tape up to me while I'm on the ladder." Roy had packages of red streamers.

"Sure." Ed got the tape while Roy climbed up the ladder. After then minutes of wrestling with tape and streamers, they gave up. They couldn't put up streamers up to save their lives. "Maybe Al could help, he's a lot taller… I'll go get him. "Ed ran out of the room.

A few minutes later, Ed came back with Al. "Al we need your help with there streamers… you're a whole lot taller than us, so it should be a lot easier for you."

"Okay, as long as you hold up the tape dispenser for me, I can do it." They got everything done about fifteen minutes before the party was about to start.

Envy arrived ten minutes before everyone else. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AN HOUR AGO, ENVY!" Ed was quite pissed off at him.

"WELL, YOU'RE LUCKY I EVEN CAME I WAS STUCK TO THE FLOOR FOR A GOOD TWELVE HOURS AND HAVOC'S STILL THERE!"

"Geez… stop yelling…" Roy had his hands over his ears while Ed and Envy had their shouting match.

"Well, go sit over there under that sign." Ed pointed towards a chair that was under a sign that said 'Guess my Gender'.

"You have got to be kidding me. I'm going to have people guess my gender?" Envy slowly walked over to the chair.

"Well, you volunteered without asking what you were doing…"

Roy had already started eating the party food, Envy was in the chair mumbling curses to himself, and Al was inspecting the room one last time to make sure everything looked okay.

People started coming and about half an hour through the party, everyone had arrived. Al had invited Winry, so she was one of the last people to arrive. "Hi Ed!" Winry rand up to Ed and hugged him. "I hope you have been taking good care of your automail! Just so that you know, Al is coming back with me to Rizembool for my birthday. Are you sure you can't come?"

"Yeah, I've already missed enough work. I got you a gift, but you can't have it until your birthday. I told Al to take it with him."

"Aww, that's too bad… I really wanted you to come… why is Envy over there?" Winry headed towards Envy.

"Oh, guess whether Envy's a guy or girl. Write it down and put it in that can over there. We'll determine the gender of Envy by the votes." Ed smiled.

"I'M A GUY DAMMIT!" Envy was yelling at everyone because he saw numerous people write down 'girl'.

While Winry was busy guessing Envy's gender, Ed headed over to Roy. "You think we should tell them yet?" Ed whispered to Roy.

"Sure, we defiantly know everyone's here… how should we go about doing this?"

"Umm… I randomly yell out?"

"Okay, that works… you yell it." Roy pushed Ed towards a chair for him to stand on.

"No! You!" Ed spun out of Roy's grip and pushed him towards the chair.

Roy crossed his arms. "You are going to announce it, that's an order as your colonel."

Ed put his hands on his hips. "Oh, I'm so scared, bastard-sama. I'm not yelling anything."

"Wow, you just gave me the title 'sama'. I feel special. Seriously, you should yell it, you are louder, after all."

Ed sighed putting a hand to his forehead. "Fine…" Ed stood on the chair and yelled, "GUESS WHAT? ME AND ROY ARE GOING OUT WITH EACHOTHER!" Ed jumped down and sat on the chair. "Happy?"

"Yeah… I guess…" Roy looked around the room to see everyone's reaction. Everyone looked like they weren't surprised at all. Except for Al, he's oblivious to everything in the world and was quite surprised. Winry looked slightly hurt even though she already knew Ed liked Roy and not her.

Ed noticed Winry. He always knew she secretly liked him more than as a brother. He never thought of her as more than almost a sister and his automail mechanic. Al ran up to Ed. "Nii-san, why didn't you tell me you liked Roy?.!"

"I thought it was pretty obvious. Everyone else seemed to know, even Winry." Roy walked up to Ed.

"I wonder what Hughes would have said… H would probably be laughing his head off and taking pictures." Roy looked slightly depressed, but still had a smile on his face. He then put his arm around Ed's shoulder.

"Don't get all depressed by thinking of Hughes. To get rid of depression, beat up the person causing it. That would be Envy." Ed transmuted a bat and handed it to Roy "Have fun!"

Roy walked over to Envy and swung the bat at Envy's crotch. Then he hit Envy at full swing at his head, causing a slight concussion. Roy then walked back to Ed and handed the bat back to him. "Well, I feel better now, although I gave away Envy's gender…"

"That's okay, it's quite hilarious to me. You know, Havoc is still glued to the floor back at headquarters…"

"Yeah… maybe we should go get him, he might be dying…" Roy put his arm around Ed's waist and they both walked over to the Eastern Headquarters to get Havoc.

As soon as they got Havoc free, he ran to the bathroom, then ran over to the party and attacked the snack table.

People were starting to leave around midnight. Winry and Al were the last people because Al wanted to say bye to Ed. Ed and Roy quickly kissed eachother, not noticing that Al was right next to them. Al shuddered. "What's wrong Al?" Ed had noticed that Al had watched.

"I'm sorry, but this is going to take a long time for me to get used to… Me and Winry are going to go back to Rizembool. Bye!" Al went up and hugged Ed, then left with Winry.

"Bye! Have fun!" then Ed turned to Roy. "Well, I should be going too. I have to pack up for moving day." Ed hugged and kissed Roy, then said, "Bye! See you tomorrow!"

"Bye!" Then Roy looked around his messed up room. _"Ahhhh…. Ed, why didn't you stay to clean up….."_

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** I hoped you like that chapter, I feel slightly sorry for Winry, but I don't like her too much, anyway, she's a lot better off with Al. Get those perverted thoughts of Winry and Armor!Al I mean if Al was human... I already have the next chapter written, so all I have to do is type it up, I shall have the next chapter up soon! (I truly hope so... damn my laziness...). I would appreciate more reviews! They might make me write faster for all I know! E-mail me too if you like my fic that much! I love random e-mails! They make me so happy! OMG Huge chapter this one was! The next one is shorter... Oh, yeah, I almost forgot! I got the Fullmetal Alchemist Art book and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! I've already drawn the cover on it and it came out beautifully...took me forever to draw the falling apart automail..._

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**Hey look! It's the reviewers! (Made you look!(I'm such a dork))**

**Ellesmera:** Well, here's the next chapter! (Finally!) At least you e-mail me... (I'm so pathetic...)

**Shadow Kitsune Kirby:** You dun like yaoi? I was intending to turn this into a yaoi since Ed and Roy are now offically going out... never lemon though, they scare me...wait, no they don't...not anymore. Anyway, I can never write a lemon, it would break my brain... shounen-ai is nice, but there's too much fluffiness...

**Cathelina:** Obviously, the other military people could careless... only Al cares and that's just because Ed is his brother that he loves so much. Get those thoughts of Elricest out of your head now!.!.!

**AnimeDutchess:** Yesh, yaoi is the greatest in the world! You will have to e-mail me if you want the site, I cannot tell you the site here due to the fact that is weird... just delete the eps when you are finished watching them!.!

**Aeralis:** I don't think Ed could transmute you into a cat, that would be human/kitty transmutation... wait, that makes you a chimera... (slaps head) STUPID!.! You gotta love Ed and Roy! Weeee! I still owe you a yaoi pic don't I...


	23. Al's Trip to Winry's

**Al's Day at Winry's**

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** Okay, this one is centered around Al and Winry, obviously. I promise you good people some good yaoi in the next chapter. I got two more random e-mails and I felt so special! I would appreciate more reviews because I write faster if you people review more! This one isn't that funny either... I'm sorry I failed you people, the next chapter should be better, I'm in the middle of writing it on paper right now...it's quite yaoi-ish, so I belive most of you will like it! Of course Winry has some concerns for Ed, especially now that him and Al are moving in with Roy. I'm sorry this one is kinda short, but I still had a writer's block at the time._

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! If I owned it or even Ed, Ed would be chained to my wall and... I'll stop there...

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Al and Winry arrived at Rizembool really late from the party. They just ended up going to bed because they were really tired. Well, Al wasn't actually tired, but he felt he should rest anyway because Winry was.

The next day was Winry's actual birthday. Al had gotten up early and made Winry a breakfast in bed. "Aww, you're so sweet Al!" Winry said as she started eating her breakfast.

"It's no problem, I have to make nii-san breakfast all the time. He's never awake enough in the morning to make it himself." Al went to leave, but remember something, turned around and asked Winry, "Do you want your presents now or later?"

"Umm… I'll open them later. What are we doing today?" Winry was finishing off her eggs.

"I thought that we could go down to Rush Valley today. What do you think?" Al already knew the answer, but he asked anyway.

Winry's eyes went all sparkly. "I would love to go! Let me just get ready!" Winry ran around the house taking a shower, putting her clothes on, and brushing her teeth. She tried to take a shower with her pajamas still on, and then realized that wouldn't work. After about ten minutes, she was ready. "Let's go!" Winry grabbed Al by the hand and dragged him out with her inhuman strength.

Somehow she managed to drag Al all the way down to the train station. "Winry! Stop! I can walk on my own!"

"Rush…Valley. Automail…" Winry bought train tickets and dragged Al onto the train. She finally let go of him and sat down in a seat. She was literally jumping in her seat.

"A little excited?" Al asked wile brushing dust off himself before he sat down.

"A little? I'm ecstatic! Are we there yet?" Winry was looking eagerly out the window. They had just started moving.

"No, but we'll be there in an hour!" Al was sitting across from Winry.

"Yay!" Winry was silent the whole ride, just looking out the window. As soon as she saw Rush valley, she started spazing again. "I see it Al! I see Rush Valley! We're almost there!"

"Calm down, Winry. You're going to kill someone with your excitement."

"But you know I love Rush Valley! To bad Ed isn't here, though. I could have gotten some things for his automail." Winry felt slightly depressed since Ed wasn't there even though she knew that he liked Roy now.

The train had stopped and Winry ran off the train. "Winry, wait! I'm the one with the money!" Al ran after her.

Winry stopped as soon as she found a wonderful piece of automail. "Al! Can I get this?.!" Winry was jumping in front of the window.

"How about we go into the store first and get a better look at it? If you want it that much, I'll buy it." Al followed a bouncing Winry into the store.

Winry did a squee of delight when she saw all the automail in the store. After bout half an hour of looking at automail, Winry picked the one that she originally saw in the window.

They left the store and Al then said to Winry, "Winry, just so that you know, me and Ed are moving in with Roy into his new house."

"Are you? At least you can get out of that little apartment. Just keep an eye on your brother and Roy…" Winry was thinking of some very dirty thoughts.

"Winry! Nii-san wouldn't do that! I know he's going out with Roy and all, but I don't think they would do that!" Al still slightly shuttered at the thought.

After making Al's wallet considerably lighter, they went back home to Rizembool. Winry had so much stuff that they had to pay extra for putting it in cargo.

Winry was so happy that she almost forgot to open up her other presents. Al had stored the presents inside of himself. She quickly opened up her presents to show the new pajamas and assorted clothing. "Thank you Al! The trip was the greatest and the clothes are wonderful! Make sure you thank Ed for me also…" Winry hugged Al, then quickly jumped back. "You're cold!"

"Well, I'll start to warm up soon… You're quite welcome. That was a fun trip, but I don't think Ed will be happy when I tell him I only have ten dollars left…"

The rest of the train ride consisted mostly of Winry thanking Al and Winry talking about automail as Al intently listened, hoping to catch something that could help Ed out.

When they got back to Rizembool, it was around nine o'clock. "Want something to eat? It's on me," Al asked Winry.

"Sure, I'll get something small." Winry got a small ice cream cone, leaving Al with seven dollars.

"That was an expensive ice cream… was it necessary for you to get every type of sprinkles?"

Winry's cone had about half an inch of sprinkles on it. "Yes, it was completely necessary. I love sprinkles! Al, are you going home tonight or staying over again?"

"I have to get home tonight, I want to start packing and I know nii-san won't do anything unless I'm there…"

Winry's smile slid off of her face a little bit. "Oh, okay. You should go to the train station snow or you won't be home until five in the morning."

"Good idea. I'll see you soon proably! Bye!" Al waved as he made his way over to the station.

Winry waved back, hoping that Ed doesn't do anything stupid when he moves into Roy's house.

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** Sorry for the extreme shortness and non-RoyXEd-ness... It made me bored writing it because well, there was no yaoi. Once again I apologize, but I'll make it up and make a good yaoi for the next chapter! E-mail me, Review, I'll write faster! I promise!_

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**To the Reviewers!**

**Aeralis:** _(cough)_ Um... yeah picture... you haven't e-mailed me in like...forever. I have a general idea of what I'm doing, but I'm too damn lazy... I'll get around to it...eventually. O yesh... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! _(streamers and balloons all over the place)_ I posted this on your b-day too! Aww, no sympathy for Envy?

**virtualsheep:** Yay! New reviewer! Yes, the best cross-dressing palm tree award goes to... _(drumroll)_ ENVY! Anyway, RoyXEd is my favorite pairing as well. Yay! A cookie! _(takes cookie and goes in corner nibbling it like a rodent) _Rusty sporks are dangerous...be careful with it...

**Cathelina:** Sure have fun voting 'girl' for Envy as he beats you into submission...

**AnimeDutchess:** I got youre-mail of course, replied a few times... I'm sorry if you didn't like this chapter...


	24. Moving Day

**Moving Day**

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** I'd have to say that this is one of my best chapters yet if you love yaoi. If you don't, just stop reading now, thank you. I was so happy when I went onto my computer the day after I posted the previous chapter to find six reviews! I almost died from happiness. I know that isn't a lot for most people, but that's an amazing feat for me. People are very mean to me... The ending has the yaoi...something a little funny in the beginning. O yeah, there's some German in here, but Ed is nice enough to translate for you non-German speakers. I don't speak much either, I just looked in my text book, so I don't want reviews that are in German! I won't understand what you are saying!_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! I don't own the Wal-mart that mysteriously appeared either!

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As soon as Ed walked into Roy's office in the morning, Roy almost died of laughter. "Why are you laughing?.!"

Roy just continued to laugh then said, "What's with the eye makeup?"

"What? Did I put it on wrong?"

Roy was holding back his laughter. "Yes!"

Ed seemed to have a really hard time with the eyeliner and made it completely black around his eyes. He looked a lot like a raccoon. "Fine… I'll go wash it off." Ed went into the bathroom, washed off the makeup, and came back out. "Better?"

"Yes, why did you have makeup on in the first place?"

"Winry had left some at my apartment and I was really bored. Thought I could look more feminine for you." Ed flopped down onto the couch in Roy's office.

"Don't do that again, you don't know how to put makeup on…"

Ed smiled. "Got it! Hey, when are we moving? I'm practically done packing…I think."

"We're moving tomorrow! So you better finish up packing tonight!"

"Guten Tag! Ich bin ein Wurstbrot!" Wrath had jumped inot the window and started talking in random German.

"You're a bologna sandwich?" Ed was slightly confused.

"Ja! Ich habe Hunger, auch!" Wrath started looking through Roy's snack closet.

"No! Don't eat anything! If you're a bologna sandwich, eat yourself!" Roy was trying to get Wrath away from the snack closet.

"Nein, nein, nein! Ich habe Hunger!" Wrath tried to bite Roy.

"Just give him something or he'll keep on saying he's hungry. Wrath, stop talking in German." Ed didn't like translating for Roy.

"Fine, just gimme a box of Pocky and I'll leave you along!" Ed went over to the snack closet, got a box of Pocky and threw it at Wrath's head. "Thanks…" Wrath was rubbing the area where he was hit by the box.

"Now leave." Ed picked up Wrath and threw him out the window.

Roy looked out the window to see if Wrath landed safely. "I think he used up a life…"

"Do you think I care? He's so annoying…" Ed crossed his arms. "Well anyway, I have to get going. I'm meeting Al at the library, he can't get into the section that we need without me. After the library, I have to do some last minute packing." Ed started for the door.

"Okay, just make sure you're ready at ten in the morning. I want to have time to unpack when we get there. I have to finish packing as well. Maybe I can leave a little early…"

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow!" Ed left.

**Moving Day**

_Knock Knock_

"Hurry up Al! Roy will be here any minute!"

"Nii-san! He's already here!" Al ran to the door. Roy was standing outside.

"AHHH!" Ed quickly threw in the last few things into his suitcase and shut it. "All ready to go!"

"Let me guess, you waited until half an hour ago to pack everything?" Roy walked in and took one of the suitcases.

Ed laughed nervously. "Actually, it was fifteen minutes ago…I'm quite a procrastinator."

"Well…that was stupid. We should get going, and my stuff is already in the car. My house isn't' too far, but I don't think Al will fit, so he'll just have to stay here for a few minutes, then we can pick him up. Let's get your stuff in the car…" Ed, Roy, and Al brought all of the stuff out to the car. They just barely fit everything. Poor Al had to stay behind for about ten minutes, but they came back as soon as they could.

"Holy crap, it's huge!" Ed and Al said in unison.

"Heh, yeah. Did I forget to mention that the house that I bought was a mini-mansion?" Roy put his hand on the back of his head.

"Yes, and you were planning on living here by yourself?" e started to make his way up the stairs to see the bedrooms.

"No, not really. I bought it hoping that you were going to live with me." Roy followed Ed and Al was behind him. "Just so that you know, I get the biggest room, Al gets the second biggest, and you get the smallest."

Ed snapped, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT THEY CAN FALL INTO A TOILET AND DROWN?.!"

"I didn't call you small, I called the bedroom small."

"Well, you implied my height…" Ed mumbled.

They found the master bedroom first. "Wow, this is really nice. O yeah, all of the bedrooms came with beds. The people who previously lived here left them." Roy flopped onto his king-sized bed. Then he got up and decided to explore. "Wow, there's even a master bathroom!" Roy then noticed that Ed and Al were waiting for him. "Oh yeah, let's go find your rooms."

They went down the hall a little bit and found two bedrooms next to each other. Al's room was big, but not quite as big as Roy's. His room had a double-sized bed. Ed's room was almost the same size as Al's but he had a bedroll that was on the floor. "I'm taking your bed, Al." Ed transmuted a door big enough to drag in a bed and he put his bed in Al's room. Then the transmuted the wall back to normal.

"Well, fine. Not like I need a bed anyway. I need a desk… Hey! Your room came with a desk!" Al ran into Ed's room to try and take the desk.

"No! This desk is mine! Get your own! In fact, we brought ours from out apartment! Take that one!"

"But that one's all beat up. Yours is really nice! I want it!"

"No! My desk! My room!" Ed ran in and closed the door in Al's face.

Al drew a transmutation circle and transmuted the door into a chair. "I want the desk! You took my bed!"

"But you don't need a bed and I need my desk too!"

"You are at work a lot! I'm usually the one at home, researching!" Al picked up the desk and ran out the door.

"Good point, but you will have to carry the other desk up to my room!" Ed found Roy unpacking in his room.

"Hello, Ed. Done with your argument?" Roy's room came with a chest of drawers. He was putting his non-work clothes in there.

"Yes. Just so that you know, I need hangers for my closet."

"Fine, we'll get some later… I need some too. How do you like the house?"

"I love it!" Ed hugged Roy. "Can I sleep with you tonight? Your bed looks a lot more comfortable…"

"Sure, just make sure Al doesn't know you're doing this. He's still quite uncomfortable about our relationship."

"Yeah. Although, I think Al has accepted it by now, but he isn't going to support it…" Ed sat on Roy's bed as he watched Roy unpack.

"If I had a brother that did the same thing, I would be the same way," Roy said as he was putting some shirts in his dresser.

After they did most of the unpacking, they went to the Wal-mart that suddenly appeared and bought anything that they needed.

By the time they were done shopping, it was dark. Al decided to go to bed early, either that or read. Ed and Roy made sure that Al was pre-occupied. Ed then went into Roy's room.

Roy went to brush his teeth as Ed slipped under the covers of Roy's bed. Ed was only in his boxers, in November. "Roy, I'm cold. Turn up the heat…"

Roy was about as smart as Ed when he dressed and decided he was cold too. He cranked up the heat to 72 degrees. "Just so that you know, you won't be cold for long…" Roy slid into bed with Ed. Roy didn't even turn the light off yet and Ed jumped out of bed.

"AHH! I FELT A BULGE ON MY BACK!" Roy was lying next to Ed just about to reach for the light switch. His stomach area was on Ed's back, at least until Ed jumped out of the bed.

Roy laughed nervously. "Oops, sorry…" Roy made sure that the blanket was over him from the waist down.

"That better not have been what I thought it was…" Ed slowly backed up away from the bed.

"I'm sorry, but it was. If you wish to sleep in your own bed, I understand…"

"No, its okay… are you back to normal?" Ed walked back towards the bed.

"Yeah, for the most part." Roy then got up and took Ed's boxers off of him.

Ed blushed right up to his roots and tried to get his shorts back. "ROY! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?.!"

Roy threw Ed's boxers into the top of his closet. Ed squeaked and ran over to the closet to get his shorts back. Roy was laughing as he watched a naked Ed trying to reach the top shelf of his closet.

Ed noticed that Roy was watching him, ran into the bathroom, grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around his waist. Then he whined at Roy. "Roy, I want my shorts back! I'm not getting back into bed with you until I have my shorts on my butt again!"

Roy replied by slipping out of his own shirts and throwing them across the room.

Ed's eye twitched as he looked from Roy's boxers to Roy, and back to the boxers. "You know, I'm at a loss of words. I'm not sure whether to run back into my room and lock the door, or to go back into bed."

"I want you to go back into the bed, but you may leave if you want to…"

Ed fought himself in his mind for a few minutes, then he took off the towel and went into the bed. Ed smirked. "You bastard."

Roy smiled. "I know."

Ed learned some new things that night.

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** Don't worry Ed lovers! Ed is still a virgin! I'm not sure for how much longer, but for now he is! Let's just say that Ed gets his first oral-sex lesson... _(cough cough)_ I'm such a pitiful person... I don't have the next chapter even started yet, so it might be a while until the next chapter comes out... I'm sorry if I take two weeks again..._

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**OMG! Six reviews in two days! If I get anymore reviewers, I won't be able to talk individually to all of you!**

virtualsheep: I hoped that chapter satisfied your yaoi lovingness... Yay another cookie! _(Eating cookie) _Ummm... yeah, that spork is really scaring me...

Prozacfairy: What?.! You think I made Ed and Roy out of character?.! I really tried to make them like their characters! Not really Roy, but I tried with Ed! Although, I'm glad you still like my fic...I think..._(Asks good people)_ Am I glad? I'm not sure anymore... _(Brain breaks)_

Angel-of-Music1331: I'm sorry, and yes it was essential! I hoped you like this chapter because of the wonderful yaoiness...

Cathelina: Yes, it was AlXWinry, although it can't really work out right now due to the fact that Al is armor... I still love the pairing...Ed and Winry don't go together in my mind... Ed doesn't like Winry like that, Al does...He shows it sometimes!

Aeralis: Oh you saw Chicken Little? How was it? I got the fourth FMA book and I laughed and I felt depressed... Hope you liked the yaoi!

AnimeDutchess: I dunno, I didn't really like that chapter... Hope you liked this chapter!


	25. Yay for School!

**Yay for School!**

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** Hello everyone! I'm in a pretty good mood right now and I felt just a little productive, so I typed up half a chapter at once! I also already started writing the next chapter! Thanksgiving is next week (I don't particularly like the holday) which means no school for a little bit! In this chapter, the government finds out that Ed and Al haven't been going to school, so they make them go to school..._

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA!**

**Ed: Yeah, if she did, it would be very bad...I would be very gay...Roy as well...**

**Roy: How could I possibly be gay?.! I'm a chick magnet!**

**Me:** **_(slaps Ed and Roy)_ YOU'RE BOTH GAY ACCEPT IT!**

**Ed and Roy:_ (Shrink in fear)_ S-sure...what ever you say...

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Ed woke up, put some pants on, and went downstairs. Al was already up, making breakfast. "Good morning! Did you sleep well?"

Ed yawned, rubbed his eyes and said, "Yeah, I slept well… what are you making?"

"Bacon and eggs. You know, I heard something coming from Roy's room last night. Did you hear it?" Al was putting the cooked bacon on a plate.

"No, must've been your imagination…" Ed said nervously. He then walked over to the table and sat down.

Al was quite sure it wasn't his imagination, but he didn't feel like pursuing the matter any further if Ed didn't want to talk about it.

Roy then came downstairs, sat down next to Ed, took Ed's plate of food, and started eating it.

"You know, I was kind of eating that…"

"Guess what? I don't care, I'm hungry."

Ed grumbled and got himself another plate.

"Oh yeah, you two haven't been in school since you were eight and nine, correct?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Ed forgot to get himself some orange juice and got some out of the icebox.

"I was told by the higher-ups that you and your brother have to go back to school. It's a good idea if you go." Roy finished eating.

"There's a reason why we don't go to school. Me and Al decided to quite school when we realized we were as smart as or smarter than the teachers." Ed had finished his meal as well.

"Just humor me and go to school. If you two graduate in a month, I'll give you each fifty dollars. I don't think that will happen, though…"

"You're on." Ed shook hands with Roy. "So where's this school?"

"About five blocks away from Eastern Headquarters. You and Al will start in ninth and tenth grade tomorrow! Good luck!"

**The Next Day**

"Al, Roy is going to drive us to school! Hurry up with shining yourself!"

Ed was in Roy's bathroom because he decided to take it over. Roy walked in his bathroom wile Ed was doing his hair.

"You have too many hair products… It's taking up the whole sink area. Where am I supposed to put my toothbrush?"

"I dunno… next to mine?" Ed pointed at his toothbrush. "You need to drive me and Al to school in," Ed looked at his watch, "five minutes."

"You put way too much hairspray in your hair. I feel like if I go anywhere near you, I'll catch your head on fire…"

Ed stuck his tongue out and went back to fixing his hair.

Roy then drove Ed and Al to school. "Go to the main office to get your schedules. I'll come pick you up after school if I get out of work early enough." Al got out of the car. Roy then quickly kissed Ed and said, "Have fun at school!"

Ed smirked. "Have fun at work! I'm going to graduate in a month!" Ed got out of the car.

"Sure you are…" Roy drove off to work.

Al and Ed went to the main office and got their schedules. "Woo! I have chemistry first!" Obviously that was Ed's favorite subject.

"Ew, I have English…I don't even have science this semester…Nii-san, do I look weird? That one kid back there looked at me strangely."

"Don't worry about it, we'll only be here for a month…" Ed found his class and went in. Al's class was in a different hallway.

Ed got a lot of stares from his new classmates. He ignored them and walked up to his new teacher. "Umm… excuse me. My name's Edward Elric and I was told to come to this class. Could you tell me where I sit?"

"Hello, Ed. I'm Miss Havoc. You can sit over there by Bobby. Bobby, raise your hand so Ed can find his seat."

Ed didn't move immediately and asked, "By any chance, are you related to Jean Havoc?"

"Yes, I'm his sister. Do you know him?"

"I've seen him at military Headquarters from times to time. He's usually with the Colonel. I'm the Fullmetal Alchemist by the way." Ed went over to his seat.

"Oh, I've heard of you! Well, it's nice to meet you, now let's get back to class."

In Ed's class, they were doing a lab, so he was showing off his alchemy, gaining some friends in the process.

Al wasn't having as much fun. His teacher was Mrs. Hughes, which was nice, but his classmates were sort of mean. Al also could barely fit in his seat. "Umm… Mrs. Hughes? Could I have a bigger chair? I can't fit…"

Mrs. Hughes got a new desk and chair for him that he could actually fit in. poor Al kept on having questions shot at him. Random kids would ask Al questions like "Why are you wearing armor? Shouldn't you take it off? And those spikes on your shoulders look awfully dangerous…"

"I have to, no, and I can't help the spikes." Al was getting really angry and was about to take off his head in a minute to scare the crap out of the kids. Then the rational part of his mind thought that it was a bad idea.

"Leave Al alone, class." Mrs. Hughes said. Then she walked up to Al and said, "I'm really sorry. How have you and Ed been?"

"We've been fine. How's Elycia?" Al had to bend down to talk to Mrs. Hughes without the class listening.

"Oh, she's been fine, she's really missing Maes a lot…She doesn't seem to understand that he won't be coming back." Mrs. Hughes looked like she was about to cry.

"Ah…Ah…how about we start class?" Al didn't mean to make Mrs. Hughes almost cry.

"Yeah…we should." Mrs. Hughes walked back up to the front of the room. Al realized that Wrath was in the class as well.

Ed and Al had the same lunch, so they sat together. Wrath sat with them as well.

"So, how's your first day of school, Nii-san?" Al just sat there watching Ed eat.

"Oh, it's great! Being a state alchemist made me pretty popular. Although, there was that one bastard that called me a bean… How's your day so far?"

"Not good at all…people keep on asking me questions on why I'm in a suit of armor…Although, I have Mrs. Hughes as my English teacher!"

"Aww that sucks…tell Mrs. Hughes I said hi. Maybe if you show them some alchemy, they won't bother you anymore about the armor… you do have some chalk on you, right?"

"Yeah, I always do… I could also say you're my brother…Ah, well, I hope we graduate in a month…I hate school…"

Ed's day went well except everyone kept on asking him why he was so short.

Al's day went better when he said that is brother was Ed and when he performed alchemy.

At the end of the day, they had to talk home since Roy was still at work. Ed decided to pay Roy a visit. "Al, you go ahead home. I'm going to visit Roy at work."

"Okay, I guess I'll see you later." Al and Ed went in opposite directions.

Ed walked into Roy's office without knocking. Roy almost had a heart attack when he thought it was Hawkeye opening the door. Roy was in the corner, finishing knitting a sweater. "Ed! Don't scare me like that!"

"Oh, sorry. Is that the sweater you were making me back at the beach house?" Ed went over and sat on Roy's lap.

"Yeah, I'm practically done. In fact, I'll probably have it done today. How was school?" Roy started playing with Ed's bangs.

"School was fine, I'm pretty popular now. Al's day didn't go as well. He got questioned on his appearance a lot. Luckily, no one say my automail. They just know I'm in the military and I can perform alchemy. Oh yeah. Havoc's sister is my teacher and Mrs. Hughes is Al's teacher."

"That's nice, but it was reckless of you to reveal yourself as the Fullmetal Alchemist. One of these kids could tell their parents and their parents could tell other people and so on. In other words, you could have given away your location to Scar or something."

"Oops…Wrath is in Al's class as well… when do you get out of work?" Ed leaned on Roy.

"Very soon. In fact I could leave now, as long as we don't pass by Riza…" Ed and Roy poked their heads out of the office. "The coast is clear…let's go!" both of them ran out of the building into Roy's car. Luckily, Riza didn't see them.

When they got home, they found Al making dinner. "Hello, Roy! Hi, Nii-san! I hope you're in the mood for tacos!"

"Tacos… Mmmmm…I need to get started on my homework…"

"Uhh…I'll go help him…" Roy and Ed went upstairs.

_"I don't think I want to know what Ed and Roy are really doing…"_ Al thought.

Ed and Roy ended up on Roy's bed, both shirtless and making out. Ed had his hair down.

Al called from downstairs, "Dinner!"

Ed and Roy quickly put their shirts on and went downstairs. Ed's hair was still down. "Nii-san, why is your hair down?"

"I just so happen to like it down. I told him to take it down wile I was helping him with his homework," Roy said, and then started eating.

_"Sure…"_ Al thought to himself.

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10: **I'm making Ed and Roy go to a spa! Why? I have absolutly no clue at all! It just suddenly popped into my head during my German class! Hope you liked the chapter, sorry for the lack of yaoi, but I promise some nice yaoi in the next chapter because Al isn't going to be there!

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**I feel so loved! I'm actually getting quite a few reviews! I'm finally being recognized after about 23 chapters!**

**Elion:** No I wouldn't scar Al like that for life...The poor guy would never be able to look at Ed ever again...smirking like a crazy flying Mountain Dew? What's up with that?

**virtualsheep:** Wow, that'sa lot of cookies..._(takes your box of cookies and runs away) _Glad you liked the yaoi!

**Prozacfairy:** Don't worry you didn't upset meh! I just try to keep some of the characters true to the attitude that they were given by the manga-ka god know as Hiromu Arakawa...

**AnimeDutchess:** Yes! The random German-speaking Wrath!

**St. Jimmy666:** I feel quite honored if you normally don't like yaoi!

**Cathelina:** The eye makeup thing came from a discussion that I had with my friend. I can't quite remember what the conversation was, but I came up with the idea to put eye makeup on Ed...

**angelic theif:** That was a huge review you gave me...Took me like two minutes to read it...I inspired you? O.O I feel honored! So you have an armor fetish as well... I like Ed and Al with all my messed up Anime heart...

**Aeralis:** Yes I love the last sentence of the last chapter! I love giving people ideas! I'm so ebil! AHH EVIL TAMBORINES OF DOOM! GET THEM AWAY! _(Gets first aid kit for broken arms)_ Don't try hugging Al ever again...

**Angel-of-Music1331:** Yes, I made yaoi, but I apologize for my lack of yaoi in this chapter...


	26. Spa Day

**Spa Day**

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** Yay! I'm so happy I got this up before Thanksgiving! This one has some yaoi/shounen-ai in it! I'm going to see Harry Potter on Saturday and I'm so happy... there's not much to say except that Envy is an idiot in this chapter... Oh yeah, decided that it's not allowed to put reviewer replies in a fic, but they added this nifty little thing where I can reply directly and it will send you an e-mail. So if you review my fic, please check your e-mail, there will probably be a reply from me!_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! Arakawa-sensei does!**

**Ed: _-Moping-_ I dun wanna be gay...**

**Me: Too bad, in this fic, I own your soul...**

**Ed: I don't remember you ever buying my soul...**

**Me: I bought it on E-bay when you weren't looking.

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It was the weekend, so there was no school. "Ed! Let's go do something today! You don't have school!"

Ed rolled over in his bed and glared at Roy. This was one of his few days when he could sleep in. "Can't you see that I'm sleeping? I would like to continue to do that…"

"But I have passes to go to a spa! Let's go!" Roy started hitting Ed with a pillow, causing the little Roy plush to fall out of the bed. Ed realized the plush fell and quickly grabbed it off the floor. "You really love that plush, don't you?"

"Yes, I love it a lot, but I love the person that it's copying even more. I would love that person even more if he stopped HITTING ME WITH A PILLOW!" Ed pulled his covers over his head.

"You can relax at the spa! Let's go!" Roy took Ed by his ankles and pulled him off the bed.

Ed grumbled random curses, then went downstairs to get some breakfast.

After he was done with breakfast, Ed pulled on a long-sleeved, red shirt and his black pants. The shirt had a Nicholas Flammel symbol at the bottom of the left sleeve. He didn't even put his hair up yet when he went looking for Roy. "Roy, I guess I'll go, but what is Al going to do?" Ed found Roy in his bed room, putting his shirt on.

"Oh, Al said that he would just stay home. Are you ready to go?"

"For the most part, I just have to put my hair up and put my shoes on."

"Well, go do that, I'm ready to go. And make sure you bring a short-sleeved shirt or something, you'll get warm at the spa."

Ed shrugged and left.

Ed came back to Roy a few minutes later with is hair in a ponytail and had his boots on. He also had a black tank top in hand. "I'm ready to go now. Let's go." Ed walked down to the foyer and waited for Roy.

Roy came down the stairs and they told Al that they were leaving. They went out to the car.

The spa was about forty-five minutes away, but nothing all that exciting happened. Envy did randomly jump into the read and said, "I like cheese!" But that was about it. Toy ran over Envy, using up one of his lives. Envy was cursing them out as they drove away.

When they got to the spa, not very many people were there. "Where is everyone? It is the weekend, there should be people here…"

Roy smiled. "Oh, this spa's really expensive, so not many people go."

"You didn't have to spend all of that money on me! I would've just been happy going to dinner!"

"Well, too bad, I already got passes and they're non-refundable, so enjoy yourself here."

The got massages fires and the guy that did Ed ended up cutting his hand. He was trying to massage Ed's shoulders and accidentally got his hand caught on the automail. They left early and decided to do something else.

Ed got his nails done, but he only got them to be shiny, not painted. Roy refused to do that and got a facial instead. Ed was done before Roy, and he waked in while Roy still had the mud on his face. Ed spazed, causing him to crash into the table, then falling onto Roy.

Ed blushed hoping that no one else was there, luckily there was nobody. Then he kissed Roy on the neck and got up. "Roy, get that crap off of your face. I want to go to the hot springs!"

"I can't… I have to wait for the lady to come back."

As soon as Roy said that, Ed ran out of he room, grabbed some person that worked there and ordered them to take the mask off.

When that was done, Ed and Roy went to the hot spring. "Why did you want to go to the springs so bad?"

Ed smirked, "Because we have our own area and we're nakki."

Roy rubbed Ed's head. "You little pervert! Well, I like they way you think."

They both stripped and wrapped a towel around their waist. As soon as they go into their own little section of the spring, they took their towels off and stepped into the pool.

Ed was a bit paranoid that there will be people looking over the fence at him. After about five minutes, he decided it was safe and swam around a bit while Roy just sat on a little bench in the spring and watched.

Ed was swimming really funny because he didn't know how to swim. The automail kept on weighing him down and making him sink whenever his feet left the ground. After attempting to swim about ten times, he gave up and sat on Roy's lap. "Roy, I realized I can't swim."

Roy started petting Ed. "I didn't think you would be able to swim with two chunks of heavy metal on you."

Ed stuck his tongue out and draped his automail arm around Roy's shoulders. Then he put the top of his head into the side of Roy's neck. Roy started to shiver. "What's wrong?"

"Your automail is really cold…"

"Oops, sorry." Ed took his arm off of Roy. The he moved so that it was his flesh arm against him. "Better?"

"Yes." Then Roy kissed Ed and made out with him for about five minutes. "You know I was wondering. Where did you learn to kiss so well? You kiss a little bit too well for a fifteen year old that never had a girl friend…"

"What do you mean I never had a girlfriend?.!" Ed then covered up his mouth and his eyes went wide.

"Oh, so you did have a girlfriend? Do tell."

"I'm sorry, but I don't kiss and tell. It's for me to know and for you to never find out!" Ed then went across the spring and stuck his tongue out.

"Fine… I guess I'll have to annoy it out of you." Roy went over to Ed and started poking him.

"Stop…"

_Poke._

"Please…"

_Poke poke._

"You're annoying me…"

_Poke poke poke._

"Ahh! That tickles!"

Roy found out that Ed was ticklish and started tickling instead. Ed burst out laughing and accidentally inhaled water. He then started choking. Roy stopped so that Ed wouldn't die.

"Well, tell me…" Roy whined at Ed.

Ed mumbled, "Winry."

"Winry?.! It seemed like you never liked her!"

"It was for three months when I was fourteen. She made out with me twice. I didn't think it felt right since I thought of her as a sister, so I broke up with her. She still likes me, though… Happy?"

"I guess… is there anyone else I should know about?"

Ed looked at his feet and mumbled, "No…I didn't have time for girls…"

"Don't get all depressed! I still love you anyway!" Roy went and hugged Ed.

I'm not getting depressed! What gave you that idea?"

Roy smirked and playfully smaked Ed on the butt before going back across to the bench that was in the spring.

Ed blushed like mad and sat on Roy's lap. Roy ran a finger down Ed's back causing him to shiver. Ed wanted pay back for Roy smacking him on the butt, so he licked him in the ear. Ed knew that Roy hated that.

**An Hour Later**

"That was a lot of fun, Roy. I'm glad you took me." Then he said in a little chibi voice, "Thank you!"

"You're quite welcome. I had fun as well. I was planning on relaxing while I was there, but what we did was fine. I'm hungry though…"

"When we get home, I'll make something, for once."

"Will you? That would be wonderful!"

Ed and Roy got into the car and went home. They ended up running Envy over again because he didn't learn the first time.

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** Well, I hoped you good people liked this chapter... In the next chapter Al finds some...things in Roy's room on the weekend when he's cleaning the room...No more review responses! I replied to all of you who reviewed! Check your e-mail if you didn't already!_


	27. The Weird Green Object

**The Weird Green Object**

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** Well, I had a wonderful Thanksgiving and I hope everyone else did as well. I saw the Harry Potter movie and was disappointed... I'm also broke because of a wonderful holiday called Christmas... Although, I'm getting many FMA stuff for Christmas, so it's not that bad... anyway, this chapter, Al finds a mysterious green object in Ed and Roy's room. Al's slightly naiive in this chapter, but not too much, he knows more than Ed thinks... There's a little bit of Al POV in this as well, like what Al thinks about Ed and Roy's relationship..._

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!**

**Ed: If she did, Al would be reading dirty novels...**

**Al: But I'm not like that!**

**Me: Yes you are Al, shut up, I own your soul...**

**Ed: But you just said you don't own us...**

**Me: ...Fine, but in my own world, I own your's, Al's and Roy's soul... but this isn't my own world so I'll shut up...**

**Ed: Good...**

**Me: _-Kicks Ed-_**

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Ed sleeping with Roy was now a normal thing. Al made sure not to go into Roy's room until both of them were awake and eating breakfast in the kitchen. He walked in there once wile they were sleeping to clean up the room a little bit. He ended up scarred for life because he found out Ed and Roy like to sleep with each other… naked.

Although, Al is quite the optimist. He didn't mind that Ed slept with Roy because that meant he didn't have to make two beds, only one. He also didn't mind that they slept naked because that meant less laundry for him. He just had to make sure they were fully dressed before entering.

Every morning Al had to pick up clothes that were scattered around the room, and on the weekend, carefully pick the sheets up. Ed and Roy were at least nice enough to take the sheets off of the bed for him. He had gotten used to this routine.

He still had to go to school everyday, and Ed was close to graduating. Al was still in eleventh grade now and Ed was at the end of twelfth. Al didn't think he will make the month, but was quite sure that Ed would win the bet.

It was a Sunday, so Al had to wash the sheets. When he was carefully picking up the sheets, something green rolled out. Al made a mental note to himself to take care of it after he washed the sheets.

While Al was washing the sheets, Roy went into his room and found the green object on his floor. He quickly picked it up, washed it, and just as he was about to put it away, Al walked back in. _"Oh shit…"_ Roy thought as his hand was just about to open up his dresser drawer.

"Oh, hello Roy! I was just cleaning up like I always do. What is that green thing you're holding? I saw it when I was picking up the sheets."

Roy quickly stuffed the object into his dresser. "Uh… it's nothing! Nothing at all! Forget everything you saw!" Roy said nervously.

"Well, if you put it that way, I know it's defiantly something. I'm going to ask nii-san about it." Al ran downstairs to find Ed. Roy just stood in his room with his mouth open in surprise.

"Nii-san! Nii-san! I have something to ask you!"

Ed was curled up in a chair reading a book. He looked up at Al and asked, "What?"

"When I was cleaning your room, I found this green thing. I left it on the floor while I washed the sheets. When I came back into the room, Roy was putting it away in the dresser. Do you know what that green thing is?"

Ed's eyes went really wide. Then he said, "I-it's nothing. At least nothing of your concern. Forget that you ever saw the object."

Al folded his arms. "Just tell me. I'll find out sooner or later, and you know that."

"…You're right, I do know you'll find out, but I won't be the one to tell you. I also suggest that you don't touch it because that would be gross. Now leave me alone, I was reading."

Al sighed and left Ed to his reading. _"I'm not quite sure if I want to know what this object does… I just with that nii-san would just tell me things without me finding out for myself…"_

Al went back into Roy's room to finish cleaning up. After he was done, curiosity got the better of him. He made sure that Ed and Roy were nowhere near the room. Then, he opened up Roy's dresser. He found the green object in there slightly under the socks. It was about eight and a half to nine inches long and sort of odd shaped. He found a switch on the side and he flipped it. The object started to vibrate and go around in circles. Obviously, Al couldn't feel the vibrating, but started to realize what it was. He immediately switched it off and shoved it back into Roy's dresser. _"Eewwww… I wish I never touched it. I should've taken Ed's advice…"_ Al went over to the sink and washed his hands. Then he dried himself really well so his hands wouldn't rust.

Meanwhile, Ed was attempting to make a London broil, but ended up burning it. Roy was laughing at him until Ed said that he was going to make Roy eat it.

Al came downstairs and saw some smoke, then went into the kitchen. "Ed, I refuse to clean yours and Roy's room for now on. I discovered what the green object was."

Ed and Roy started at each other with nervous to almost scared looks on their faces. "Al, didn't I tell you to forget about it? You now me and Roy have to time to clean our room. It's entirely your fault if you're scarred for life. Also, since when did you know what a sex toy did?"

Al shuffled his feet where he was standing. "Umm… In some novels that I have read?"

"What kind of books are you reading?.!"

"None of your business. Also, you might want to do something with that stove that's catching on fire."

Ed had somehow managed to take the London broil out, and then turned on the stove top with the London broil on the stove top. He whirled around to see the steak on fire. Ed quickly grabbed a fire extinguisher and stopped the fire. He then turned off the stove top and tried to save the poor London broil. It didn't work.

"I guess we're ordering out again…" Roy got up from the table. "Would you like to come with me, Ed?"

Ed shrugged and said, "Sure why not?"

Ed and Roy went to the care and drove off to the restaurant and had dinner there, leaving Al alone.

_"I worry about Ed sometimes…Although, it is his life and I can't stop him from doing anything… I can't wait until I have my body back. As soon as I have it back, I'm going to get a girlfriend. It's not fun to not be able to like any girls… I'll probably ask Winry first, hopefully she'll say yes…"_ Al continued to think like this for a while until he decided that rambling to himself was boring. Then he went up to his room and read.

"Roy, I fell a little bit bad for keeping Al in the dark. I would hate it if he started doing stuff like that, if he had a body, of course."

"Well, do you want to tell Al everything?"

"Not really, but I don't want to hurt Al either when he finds out these things for himself."

"Then why are you complaining to me? He is your brother, after all."

Ed sighed. "I know… I just don't know what to do… Also, with our relationship… I'm not doing as much to try and return Al back to normal…"

"So are you implying that we should break up?" Roy leaned over the table a little.

"No! I didn't mean that! It's just that, you'll have to deal with me going away whenever I have a lead. I would greatly appreciate if you ever hear anything and pass the information to me, by the way."

"I realize that, and you know I will try to give you as much information as possible."

Ed nodded solemnly and finished eating. After that, they paid and went home.

A few hours later it was time for bed. Ed didn't want to go to bed right away, and he noticed that he forgot to do his homework. It was a Sunday. Roy tried to help Ed, but that didn't work well. Ed was too smart for him, so he gave up and decided to distract Ed instead. Roy started nibbling on Ed's ear, but got swatted in the face. "Leave me alone! I'm trying to do my homework! It won't take me much longer if you leave me alone."

Roy stopped and waited patiently for Ed to be done. In the meantime, he decided to strip down to his underwear. Ed finished just before Roy was about to attack him. "Just hold on a minute. I need to put my things away."

Ed put his books in his book bag. Then he stripped down all the way and tackled Roy onto the bed to take his long briefs off. Roy didn't struggle much, but he did poke Ed in the stomach.

"Roy, I have to go to school tomorrow and you have to go to work, we can't do anything tonight."

Roy made a noise of disappointment, but he decided that Ed was right. He then got into bed and Ed did as well.

Ed had sort of abandoned the Roy plush that was sitting in his unused room. It was because he had the real person hold him like a teddy bear every night. Roy switched off the light and they went to sleep.

**_Fullmetal-Alchemist10:_ **_Well, hope you good people liked that chapter! Notice I've been trying to work faster... If you haven't that's ok, but I know that I'm working faster! The next chapter, Al notices that Ed is going blind, so he makes him get glasses! Roy likes them ,but Ed doesn't... I already started writing it, so hopfully it shouldn't take too long..._

**Edit: **_I'm sorry for all the typos... I keep on typing 'Roy' as 'toy'... please bear with me, I'm just trying to type my story fast so that everyone can see it as soon as possible... If anyone ever sees typos, just tell me in the reviews and I'll fix them right away!_


	28. Ed Has Glasses?

**Ed Has Glasses?**

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** Well, I'm sorry for the long delay, but I have been restricted from computer use. I can now only use the computer for one hour on school days... On weekends or holidays, I'm free to use the computer as I please, but I'll now only be able to post on holidays or weekends, I'm terribly sorry, it's all my fault for getting bad grades... This chapter, Ed gets glasses, hates them and then yells at Al for reading cheap dime store novels that have way too much sex in them! O yeah, I also made a Fullmetal Alchemist forum! Just go onto my profile screen and there should be a thing that says forums... post whatever you want there, just no SPAM please! Or I'll sing the SPAM song!_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!**

**Roy: I'M A DEADLY NINJA WITH FEBREEZE!**

**Me and Ed: O.O _-steps away slowly-

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_**

Ed and Roy decided to go out for dinner due to the fact that Roy was being a lazy ass. They invited Al to come along, even though he doesn't eat. He accepted because he was a little worried about his nii-san. They decided to go to a nice café/restaurant. While they were looking at the menu, Ed took out some glasses. "Since when did you wear glasses?"

"Since I started going blind. I only use them when I'm reading," Ed grumbled.

"But I've seen you read before and you weren't wearing glasses."

"Two weeks ago on the weekend while you were at work, I made brother go to the eye doctor. He kept on complaining how he couldn't read properly because his eyes wouldn't let him. He hasn't been reading much since then because he hates his glasses."

"Oh. It makes you look smarter, Ed. Although, you already are way too smart…" Roy smiled.

Ed growled and ripped the glasses off of his face. Then he threw them on the ground and stomped on them. "I hate them…"

Al sighed and drew a transmutation circle around the glasses, and then he fixed them. He handed them back to his growing brother. "Come on, nii-san. It's even worse for your eyes if you don't use them."

"You look nice in them! Also, you only need them for reading, so that shouldn't be a problem," Roy said.

The waiter came over and took their orders. The guy kept on insisting that Al should eat something, and Al kept on politely declining. The guy didn't stop bothering him until Ed threatened to transmute the guy into the table.

"Well, I guess I'll wear them… I have no choice anyway. I can't do research without them. I'm not going to stop looking for the Philosopher's Stone just because of stupid glasses. Also, Roy likes them."

"What, my opinion doesn't count anymore?" Al asked.

"Well, not really. You would say that they were nice no matter what."

Al flicked Ed in the head. "What was that for!"

"For you being mean."

Ed growled and decided to talk to Roy instead. "Have you heard anything on the Philosopher's Stone?"

"Not really, I've only heard bits and pieces about random people that are suspected to have unfinished stones," Roy said.

"Well, if you hear anything at all, tell me right away."

"Of course."

Ed and Roy had finished eating and paid for the food. Then they went back home.

Greed was sitting in their house when they came home. He was cleaning out the snack closet in the process.

Ed was the first one to talk in. he spazed when he saw Greed eating his precious Pocky. "Greed! What the hell?.!"

Greed just stared at Ed, and then continued to eat.

"Greed, what are you doing in my house?" Roy snatched the half eaten box of Pocky from Greed.

"I'm waiting for Envy. He said to meet him at your house, so I came here and decided to eat your food in the process."

"Shouldn't it be Gluttony doing that?" Ed asked while nibbling his Pocky.

"Well, you could say I was greedy with the food, but that's beside the point. Have you seen Envy?"

"No. Please get out of my house, now." Roy pointed at the door for Greed to leave.

"Not until Envy gets here."

"Why are you waiting for that palm tree?" Envy had just entered the room when Ed said 'palm tree'.

"Why are you calling me a palm tree, you chibi?.!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BUG THAT IT ESCAPES THE WRATH OF A SHOW BECAUSE IT'S SO SMALL THAT IT FITS IN BETWEEN THE GROVES?.!"

Envy just stared at Ed, and then said, "I didn't say that at all…"

"WELL YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE!"

Roy had to take Ed into a different room so that he would calm down. Then, he went back into this living room. "Okay, now why are you two here again?"

"We're just about to leave now! Bye!" Envy grabbed Greed by the wrist and ran out the door.

"What was that all about?" Al asked Roy.

Roy just shrugged and retrieved Ed from the other room.

"I think Greed and Envy are together!" Ed blurted out. Then, the three of them did a group shudder.

"Are the homunculi allowed to do that?" Al asked Ed.

"Not sure, but I'm quite sure I don't want to know."

"You know, I'm quite sure that our relationship, in fact any relationship, isn't allowed in the military. Also you're underage. That might be why Hawkeye has been a little meaner to me than usually. You know she's always abiding and enforcing the rules."

"I never thought of that. Maybe we shouldn't kiss each other at the office on a daily basis…" Ed then noticed that Al was still there.

"You show public displays of affection at the office?.!" Al was really surprised.

Ed scratched the back of his head. "Ummm… yes? We probably won't now since we don't want to be fired…" Then he mumbled under his breath, "We do enough kissing in bed anyway. I won't miss a few kisses that I get at the office…"

Roy smiled a little bit because he heard what Ed said.

Al went up to his room. He didn't feel like learning anymore about his brother's relationship. Ed yelled after Al, "You better not be reading any of those cheap drug store novels that have too much sex in them! I found one of your books lying on your table yesterday, and I almost passed out!"

"Don't worry! I'm not!" Al lied. Fury kept on giving him these cheap drug store novels to read. Al kind of liked them and they did tell him things that he knew he could never learn from his brother. He sat at his desk and read his newest novel he got from Fury.

Ed sat on the couch and grabbed his book off the coffee table. He remembered he left his glasses in his coat pocket, so he got them, grumbling at the same time. He sat back onto the couch, put his glasses on, and started reading.

Roy was bored, so he slowly made his way over to Ed. First, sitting on the other end of the couch, then he slowly scooted over to Ed until he was practically in Ed's lap. Ed looked up from his book asking, "What are you doing? I'm researching."

Roy wrapped his arm around Ed's shoulders and whined, "I'm bored…"

"Well, I'm not. I would like to get some reading done before I go to bed."

"You're no fun. It's almost time for bed anyway. Also, don't you have homework for school?"

"No, I have no homework. I'm taking my SAT's day after tomorrow. I'll be graduating in a week."

"Then I guess I'll owe you $50. How are the kids at school?"

"They're very stupid and gullible. I have formed my own 'Fullmetal Alchemist Cult'. I have students that do my bidding. How cool is that? All I have to do is perform alchemy once in a while and I can have whatever I want from my classmates. They're even older than I am now that I'm a senior in high school."

Roy just blinked and then stared at Ed. After a minute he asked, "You formed a cult?"

"Yes. I quite like it too, although those kids will be disappointed when I graduate."

"I think school has greatly inflated your ego. When you go back to working regularly at the office again, your ego is going to pop."

"But I like my cult! Can I form another cult in the military?"

"Of course not! Hawkeye won't allow it anyway."

Ed did a fake sniffle and decided he would bother Al. Ed knocked on Al's bedroom door. Al quickly put the book in his desk and pulled out an alchemy book. Then he yelled, "Come in!"

Ed walked in and said, "Al, I'm bored."

"How about you go to bed? We do have to go to school tomorrow."

Ed sighed. "I guess you're right, but I'll be graduating really soon!"

"I know that, nii-san. I would like to return to my reading, if you don't mind."

"What are you reading?"

"An alchemy book. Now, please leave."

Ed shrugged and went into this own room. Roy was already getting dressed or bed. Ed tackled Roy onto the bed as he was putting his pants on. Roy laughed, kissed Ed on the cheek, and said, "I would like to put my pants on. It's starting to get too cold to sleep nakkie. You also need to do something about that automail. It wakes me up whenever it touches me. Don't you have a sock or something to put over your arm and leg?"

"Yes, I have a giant sock for my arm and leg, but I hate using it. My automail gets caught in it and it limits my movement."

"But I get cold in bed! At least wear the arm and led socks to bed. Also, won't your joints freeze up?"

Ed sighed and said, "You're sounding like Winry except for the bed part… Fine, I'll wear them, but don't expect me to ever take off my long sleeve shirts. The socks are very ugly."

"I'm fine with you wearing long sleeve shirts. Just wear the sock things."

Ed went over to his section of the dresser and grabbed two sock like things. One of them was just a long sleeve with a drawstring at the top. The other one looked like a sock, but that had a drawstring on it too. "Roy, I'm going to need you to put on the arm sock and help me put my shirt on."

Roy nodded and slid on the arm sock and tied it tightly at the top. "You hand is still going to be cold, though…"

Ed smirked while he was helping Roy put his shirt on. "Well, I could keep it in your pants and your ass will warm it up."

"No, keep your cold hand in your own pants."

Ed stuck his tongue out and changed into pajama pants, and he was having a problem getting one pant leg over the sock. He got his pants on and went into the bed.

Roy jumped into the bed, almost on top of Ed. Ed had nearly missed being squished by a man almost twice the size of him.

Roy then slid into the covers and hugged Ed as an apology for almost killing him. Then Roy turned off the light on the bedside table and they went to sleep.

Al was still in his room reading his book.

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** Please review! I hope you people liked this chapter! Also, go to my forum! I already started two threads and anyone can make their own, as long as you followthe very few rules thatI wrote and such..._


	29. Preparation for a Christmas Party

**Preparation for a Christmas Party**

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10: **Well, that was a quick update, wasn't it? I'm also planning on having the next chapter up on Christmas Eve as a Christmas present for everyone. Also, with the comment that Roy has on Christmas, I personally don't believe that, it's just that Roy is agnostic, meaning that he doesn't believe in any God... same with Ed. So I apologize in advance if you are offended... _

**Disclaimer: How many times do I have to say this?.! I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! I also don't own Party City...**

**Me: -Randomly beating Ed with a rubber hose-**

**Ed: DAMMIT STOP BEATING ME WITH A RUBBER HOSE!**

**Me: I don't feel like stopping anytime soon...**

**Roy: I'll save you Ed! **

**-Five minutes later-**

**Me: -Beating Ed and Roy with rubber hoses-

* * *

**

Today was SAT day for Ed. Roy had a day off from work and he was annoyed that Ed wasn't there to spend the day with him. It was a Saturday, so Al was home as well.

After Al had done all of the chores, he sat on the couch in the living room and read his book. Roy was just lounging around on a different couch, listening to his phonograph.

He was trying to find out what Al was reading. Then he decided to just ask Al. "Al, what's that you're reading?"

Al suddenly snapped his eyes up and said, "Nothing! Nothing at all!"

"No really, what are you reading? I won't tell Ed."

Al was silent for a minute and mumbled, "It's a book that I borrowed from Fury."

Roy bust out laughing because he knew what Fury read.

"What?"

"Why are you reading that crap? Read some better books."

"I just so happen to like these books, so leave me alone." Al was wondering what his brother saw in Roy because he was kind of annoying.

"Fine, I will." Roy got up and got himself a sandwich. He came back into the living room and started eating.

"You really shouldn't eat in the living room."

"It's my house. I can do whatever I want. Why are you acting like my mother?"

"Sorry, I'm just used to telling Ed what to do. You're very much like him." Well Al just answered his own question. They were very much alike. That's why Ed loved him.

"Well, I'm a twenty-nine year old man. I think I know how to take care of myself." Just then a piece of lettuce fell out of the sandwich and got mustard on the couch.

"Shall I say it? I told you so. No you will have a mustard stain on your couch. You should've eaten in the kitchen."

Roy grumbled, "Shut up," and went into the kitchen.

Al laughed a little and went back to his book. It was starting to get good. Janet found her long lost twin, Nicole, who ended up being evil. Nicole is trying to take Janet's boyfriend away.

After reading the book for a while, Al decided to get to know Roy a little better. He felt like playing poker with Roy.

"Roy! Want to play cards?"

"Sure. What are we playing?"

"Poker. Me and nii-san play it all the time. I have my own deck." Al took out a pack of cards from his chalk pocket. "Sorry about the chalk dust." Al started dealing.

"There are pretty cool looking cards. I like the transmutation circles on the back of them. Oh, wait. I think I have some poker chips somewhere." Roy went over to the end table drawer and pulled out a box of poker chips.

While Roy was doing that, Al noticed he had a bad hand. He used the transmutation circles on the back of the cards to change the cards into a winning hand.

Al won ten times in a row this way and had almost all of Roy's chips. "Will we have to turn this into strip poker, or are you giving up?"

"I think you're cheating. I swear I keep on seeing alchemic reactions."

"Do you want to continue?"

"No, at least not with these cards." Roy snapped and made the cards catch on fire.

"AHH! MY CARDS! IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO TRASMUTE THE CIRCLES ON THEM!"

"You're just as bad as Ed when playing poker!"

"Well, with being with him for my whole like, I pick up some of his habits, you know."

"Yeah, I guess…"

"I know this is really random, but could we get a cat?"

"No, I don't like cats."

Al sighed in disappointment.

Roy then got an evil sparkle in his eye. "I love dogs though! They will always do anything for you! You could treat them like crap and they can't complain! Plus, they don't need salaries like the other dogs that I have in the military!"

Al slowly backed away as Roy was saying this. "That's nice, Roy… are we getting a dog, then?"

"I would get a dog, but no one would be around enough to take care of it. You and Ed will be coming and going, and I have to go to work almost everyday. Maybe when you guys find the Philosopher's Stone we can get a pet."

"That could be in a month or twenty years… have you found any leads for us?"

"Not really, but Scar is doing something in Lior. I'm not sure yet, but I'll have Ed look into it soon. We really need to capture Scar. He is quite a burden for the military, especially the state alchemists."

"Thank you. Ed should be able to look at that when he has graduated. That should be in a few days."

"Yeah, and I'm going to lose fifty dollars…"

Al laughed and pat Roy on the back. "You really shouldn't underestimate nii-san. It seems to cost you money. He may not show it all the time, but he may be the smartest person you'll ever meet."

"That makes me feel very inferior… knowing that a fifteen year old is much smarter than I am. There are some things that I know that he doesn't know… he needs more common sense."

"Yeah, he could use some more of that. I'm his common sense, though. He never remembers his manners."

Ed then walked into the house. "That test was so easy! I'd have to say that the state alchemist test was harder, and I took and passed it when I was twelve!"

Roy whispered to Al, "He likes to brag a lot, too."

Al held back a laugh and nodded. Then, he got up to get his brother and Roy something to eat.

While Al was making lunch, Ed walked over to Roy and sat in his lap. Ed wrapped his arms around Roy's neck and quickly kissed him. "Roy, you owe me fifty dollars."

Roy poked Ed in the stomach. "Not until your actual graduation day."

Ed laughed when Roy poked him, and then said, "Aww, but I want the money now!"

"Why do you need money, anyway? I always pay for everything."

"Not everything and the military funds can't pay for everything…"

"Can't you just transmute things if you're desperate?"

Ed glared at Roy. "Sand does not make a good sandwich, even if it is transmuted."

"You've got a point there. Oh! Lunch is ready!" Roy quickly got up, dumping Ed onto the floor.

Ed cursed at Roy because his head hit the end table when Roy got up.

While Ed was getting up, he had looked out the window. "Look! It's snowing!"

Roy and Al ran to the window. "So it is," Roy said.

"I hope it snows enough so we can make a snowman!" Al was really excited. He loved to play in the snow.

"Hey wait! Snow means winter which means Christmas! Damn! I forgot to buy presents!"

"You know, now that I think of it, so did I… maybe we should go shopping for a day and get it done."

"We could have a party, too!" Al said.

"Yeah, we can really break in the new house and have a party. No one has really been to out house yet."

"Let's go to Party City and buy stuff!" Ed said then ran to the front door.

Roy shrugged and followed behind Ed, but not running. "Al, would you stay behind and clean. We'll clean our room."

"Sure." Al headed towards the cleaning closet.

Roy and Ed drove over to Party City to buy stuff.

Ed was looking around and then found a room called the 'Party Blowout' room. Ed walked into it, and then there was a big boom.

Roy ran over to the room to see what happened to Ed. He walked out and he was covered in confetti and streamers. He looked really pissed off. Roy burst out laughing and asked Ed what had happened.

"Apparently the 'Party Blowout' room makes big giant canisters of streamer and confetti explode on you if you touch them."

"Well, then I won't go in there. We need to find red and green streamers."

They found some thing and then Ed just asked randomly, "Wait, why am I celebrating Christmas? I'm agnostic and you are too, aren't you?"

"Yes, I'm agnostic, but it's the season of giving. Meaning free stuff for no reason. You don't need to believe all of that religious crap to get free stuff."

Ed smiled. "I like the way you think."

After buying a crap load of party supplies, they went back home. Al was almost done cleaning and he told Ed and Roy to clean their room.

An hour later, they started writing out invitations. "You realize we need to get a Christmas tree, too," Roy said.

Ed sighed. "I guess we can do that tomorrow."

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10: **Well, the next chapter is the party! I shall post it on Christmas Eve, like I said before as a gift! I'm so happy that I have a nice long vacation to just do nothing! I'll try to post a few times during the vacation as well..._


	30. Christmas Party

**Christmas Party**

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist:** Happy Christmas everyone! I got this posted right in time... It's like 10PM right now and I was yelling at my parents that I had a deadline... I just came back from church and my parents decided to go to their friend's house... they wanted to take me along and I was like "NO TAKE ME HOME OR I'M GOING TO BE SHOT BY RABID FANS!" Obviously complaining does work once in a while... I just got my Conqueror of Shamballa soundtrack and I'm a very happy person... -currently listening to CD- Well, anyway, here's the all special Christmas chapter!_

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST! BUT I DO NOW OWN THE MOVIE SOUNDTRACK!**

**Ed: Happy Christmas!**

**Roy: Happy Christmas!**

**Me: Happy Hanuchristwanzasolsticeness!**

**Ed and Roy: What?.!**

**Me: Shut up, it's all of the holidays put together...

* * *

**

Ed and Roy got a Christmas tree and decorated it. Roy tried to be lazy and have Ed decorate it. Only the bottom half of it was decorated.

"Well, if you don't like the way I decorate a tree, how about you do it, you lazy ass!"

"You're so short! If you were taller, the tree would look nicer!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT THEY CAN GET LOST IN A BOX OF PACKING PEANUTS?.!"

"I'M CALLING YOU SO SMALL THAT… what was that you said?"

Ed just stood and blinked at Roy. Then he threw a glass ball ornament at his head. "Just for that, you're decorating."

Roy threw a pillow at Ed, and then started decorating the top half of the tree.

Roy and Ed had gone shopping, so they put their presents for each other under the tree.

Ed bought so much stuff for Roy and Al that he had to resort to using military funds for them. It was pretty hard to explain why he needed funds to buy loincloths and sex toys.

They had planned the party for Christmas Eve, which was the next day. Of course, they had left decorating until last minute.

It was nine o'clock at night. "Roy! I CAN'T HANG UP STREAMERS!"

"WHY? BECAUSE YOU'RE SHORT?.!"

Ed was about to tackle Roy until Al came in and helped Ed out.

Both Roy and Ed were very irritable because they kept on blaming each other for leaving decorating to the last minute. Al was trying to keep them from pulling each other's hair out.

Around midnight, they finally had everything done and they all went to bed.

-------------------------------

"Ed! Wear something nicer than that!" Roy was putting on a dress shirt and chinos.

Ed, on the other hand, was wearing his normal clothes that were worn out from his travels. "What? I don't own anything nicer than this!"

"Don't you at least own a newer pair of pants and a newer shirt?"

"These are the newest ones I have and the black over shirt is the only one I have."

After a lot of arguing, Roy gave up. Al had come in and took Ed's side.

People started to come around one o'clock. The caterers came an hour before and started to make the food. Roy had to make sure that Ed didn't eat anything while the people were cooking.

Riza was the first one to come because she lived a few blocks away. After that, Havoc, Falman, Breda, and Fury came.

Al and fury started chatting in the corner about their books. Fury also brought some more books for Al to borrow.

Winry and Pinako came too, but they were the last people to arrive.

Winry ran up to Ed and hugged him. "Ed! How are you?"

"I'm fine… the automail's actually not damaged, for once."

"Well, that's good. I didn't want to work on Christmas Eve! Oh! I have a present for you!" Winry pulled out a present from a bag that she was holding.

"I have a present for you too. Let me go get it from my room." Ed ran up to his bedroom and grabbed Winry's present. Then he ran back downstairs. "Here you go." He handed the present to Winry.

Both of them opened up their presents from each other. Ed got a new wallet and more automail socks. Winry got a new tool belt. Ed had noticed that the tools would randomly fall off when the loops ripped. The tools ended up hitting him in some way whenever he was near her. The both thanked and hugged each other and Winry left to go give Al his gift.

Al got some armor shining stuff, chalk, and a new chalk pouch. Winry got a brand new wrench from Al. Winry tried to hug Al, but she got really cold and ended up having to get a cup of hot cider.

Once it was around ten o'clock, Roy broke out the booze. Havoc was the first one to get wasted, who was quickly followed by Breda. Roy tried to control himself, but gave up and joined Havoc and Breda. The three of them then pressured Fury into drinking and got him to climb on top of the book shelf. Then Fury jumped off and his head on the coffee table. He was unconscious for the rest of the night.

Ed wanted to try some beer, so he begged Roy. Roy was already pretty drunk, so he let Ed have some. Winry tried to stop him, but it didn't work. Ed got drunk very quickly and started to eat everything that was edible in sight.

After most of the food table was clear of food, thanks to Ed, Ed ran up to Roy and gave him a hard, sloppy kiss. Roy made a funny face and told Ed to go away. Ed didn't listen to Roy and decided that he liked Roy without his shirt.

Ed kept on trying to get Roy's shirt off, but Roy preferred it to be on. They were yelling at each other until Al came in and took Ed away. Ed had to sit in his room for a while to 'think about what he has done'. Ed jumped all over his room and banged on the door yelling random curses.

Roy felt sorry for Ed and let him out of the room.

Hawkeye was just ignoring everyone and did threaten to shoot Havoc when he got too close. Pinako did drink a little but too much and was acting funny, but not as bad as the guys. Winry, Falman, and Riza seemed to be the only sober ones. Al, of course, was sober as well since he had no choice in the matter.

Everyone went home around one o'clock in the morning and Fury had to be taken home by Riza since he was still unconscious. Winry and Pinako had to stay the night over since they trains didn't run that late. They used the spare room that used to be Ed's and borrowed Al's bed roll.

The next day was Christmas and Roy and Ed were puking their brains out. Winry and Al kept on saying, "I told you so," to them.

Winry ended up holding Ed's hair while he was vomiting. Luckily, Roy's hair was too shirt to get in the way, and Pinako felt sick but not enough to vomit.

After they puked their brains out, they were much happier. Then they opened their presents.

Ed had tons of presents for Roy and Al, but he told Roy not to open all of them in front of Winry and Al. they would open them in their room later.

Al didn't question them and Ed didn't ask about the present Al got from Fury.

Ed, Al, and Winry made snowmen since it had snowed during the night. Al made a little mini snow man that looked like a chibi version of him.

Ed and Winry made a big snow man that ended up looking a lot like Ed. Then they decided to go to the front yard to make more snowmen. Ed transmuted those snowmen so that the lawn would still look nice. Al transmuted a little ice statue of a horse.

Roy couldn't really help transmuting anything since the only alchemy he could do was fire alchemy. He just watched, and then tackled Ed when he was done.

Winry and Pinako had to leave at five o'clock in the afternoon to catch the only train back to Rizembool on Christmas.

Ed and Roy went up to their room and opened up the rest of the presents.

Al was in his room reading another book that Fury let him borrow. He would read the one that was given to him as a gift later.

Ed and Roy decided to not play with their new toys yet. Instead, they went downstairs and got some food. They didn't have many leftover since Ed went on an eating rampage when he was drunk.

After they were done eating, they made out on the couch and slowly made it to their room.

On the way to their room, Ed fell down the stairs and passed out for a few minutes.

By the time Ed became conscious again, he found himself on his bed with his shirt off. "Roy, did you take my shirt off?"

"Yes. I thought you may have bruised yourself; you did land on your arm a few times while you fell before you hit your head. Luckily, you hit your automail arm."

Ed just stared a him, then said, "You were just trying to strip me, weren't you?"

Roy just shuffled his feet and then said, "Yeah…you kept on kicking me when I tried to take your pants off…"

"Sorry…Reflexes…"

"Well, get your pants off already, I want to use my new toys…"

Ed smirked and took his pants off. "So impatient…"

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist:** Of course I leave you to imagine what happens next since I want to keep this fic rated 'T'... I was pushing it at the end... I'm getting a crapload of FMA stuff tomorrow and I'll be overjoyed! Idunno what the next chapter will have, i haven't evenstarted it yet... I just finished this chapter today...Happy Christmas Everyone!_


	31. New Year's Eve

**New Year's Eve**

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** I'm so sorry for the lack of updates! This chapter was intended to be posted on New Year's Eve... obviously it just didn't happen... two weeks after New Year's Eve I get it up... I just got my instant messengers back and I'm overjoyed, but it's causing me to majorly slow down on my fic because people talk to me too much. I'm alive as you can tell if you go to my forum, I check my forum almost everyday, in fact, I'll start telling my progress in the chapters to show how much I have done! Well, here's the next chapter and I've been talking toomuch..._

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist...**

**Ed: Since when did Envy and Greed like eachother?**

**Roy: Wha? What are you talking about?.! Are homunculi allowed to do that?**

**Ed: I have absolutley no clue...

* * *

**

It was New Year's Eve and Roy, Ed and Al were bored out of their minds.

Roy was quite entertained by poking Ed in the side for a while. At least until Ed threatened to transmute Roy's clothes to his body so they wouldn't come off.

Al made meals at the appropriate times for Roy and Ed. At around seven o'clock, Roy decided he wanted to throw a little party for the household. Roy and Ed went to the supermarket and bought cocktail weenies, numerous hors d'oeuvres, and lots of beer and champagne.

When they got home, there were some people in their house that wasn't just Al. Havoc, Breda, and Fury were over. Falman had other plans. "Al, why are there other people here?"

"Dunno. They just came over and I couldn't just tell them to go home…"

"Al, you're too nice. Me and Roy just wanted to spend the holiday together and with you. I didn't want these moochers over…"

"Hey, we're not moochers! We're just lonely, single guys that had nothing to do for the holiday. We were quite sure you would have food, so we came over," Havoc said, then pulled out a cigarette.

Roy took the box of cigarettes and said, "No smoking in my house… coming over someone's house for food uninvited is called mooching…"

Havoc was already suffering from withdrawal and needed something to smoke and/or eat, and fast. He saw the grocery bags full of food and attacked them.

Ed spazed because it was his food that Havoc was attacking. He started gnawing on Havoc's leg. "My food!"

After getting bitten numerous times, Havoc decided that attacking the grocery bags was a bad idea.

Roy put out some food to eat and everyone attacked the food except for Al.

Al just stared at them in disgust. In about five minutes, all of the food was gone.

It was Ed's turn to prepare more food for them. Everything that he made ended up burning. He ended up cursing out the stove and telling Al to make the food.

Al didn't protest at all because Roy, Breda, Havoc, and Fury were playing drinking games.

Ed wanted to join in, but Roy yelled at him and told him he was too young.

Ed snuck some drinks when Roy wasn't looking and ended up getting drunk. He decided it was funny to punch Havoc in the crotch with his automail fist.

As Havoc was doubling over in pain, Roy, Breda, and Fury were laughing at him.

Al came in with more food and was attacked by Ed before he even placed the tray on the table.

Al was concerned about Ed because whenever he was drunk, nothing good ever came out of it.

Roy was mildly drunk, and Havoc and Breda were almost as drunk as Ed.

Ed suddenly stripped down to his boxers and ran around the house. He then ran up to his room and put on his dress, and then he decided it would be fun to go outside and make snow angels.

Roy was watching all of this happening and was laughing his head off. Havoc and Breda joined Roy in ridiculing Ed.

Al had to run outside and bring Ed back in before he caught a cold.

After Roy had a few more drinks, he got his dress on as well. Then he turned on his phonograph and started waltzing with Ed, but not very well.

Ed thought waltzing was boring after three minutes, and then he tried to get into Roy's dress.

Roy didn't want Ed in his dress. He wanted to continue waltzing.

Havoc and Breda were doubling over with laughter at this. Fury was grimacing and Al was mentally grimacing.

After fighting, Ed and Roy agreed on making out on the floor. Havoc and Breda had obviously stopped laughing and grimaced with Fury.

Ed and Roy somehow didn't breathe for around five minutes and when they did breathe, Ed decided he was bored with that. He decided that sleeping was the best thing to do. He was heading upstairs, but Roy protested.

Roy didn't want Ed to go to sleep yet. It wasn't midnight yet and of course you stay up until midnight on New Year's Eve.

Roy succeeded in persuading Ed otherwise by showing Ed some food. Ed ate some more, then ran over to the bathroom to empty his stomach.

Everyone heard Ed vomiting and much preferred to be listening to something else, so Roy turned on some music.

After Ed was done, he went over to Roy and laid in his lap. He was really pale and Roy was a little worried about him.

Envy and Greed suddenly came in and saw the little 'party' that was going on. They both stared at Ed and Roy because they were still in dresses.

"Wow, everyone looks like they're half dead…" Greed commented.

"Well, if you were here a few minutes ago, it would've seemed a lot livelier," Havoc said, about to light a cigarette.

Of course, Roy snatched the cigarette out of his mouth. "I thought I took all of your cigarettes…"

"Now you did, that was my last one…"

Roy made a mental not to get a 'No Smoking' sign for his front door.

Envy tugged on Ed's braid to see what response he would get.

Ed started growling and lunged at Envy. Envy was easily able to fend off Ed's drunken attacks.

Greed sat down on the loveseat and ate the little amount of food that was left. Eventually, he told Envy to stop fighting Ed because Ed was hurting himself.

Envy shrugged and sat down next to Greed.

"Why are you two here?" Roy asked.

Ed went back over to Roy and laid in his lap again.

Envy rested his head on Greed's shoulder. "We were bored and decided to pay you a visit."

"Why? So you could torment Ed?"

Ed buried his face into Roy's stomach.

"No, but tormenting Ed was a plus…"

It was starting to near midnight and Roy started poking Ed. "A few more minutes until the new year! How about we change first…"

Ed sat up and sat in Roy's lap. "Yay! Okay!" Then Roy and Ed quickly ran back upstairs and changed. They ran back down with party hats on.

It was one more minute until midnight, Ed started to count down and everyone else joined in when he got to ten.

It was then exactly midnight and everyone yelled, "Happy New Year!" Al set off some parry poppers, spraying confetti all over the place.

Roy and Ed kissed each other and so did Greed and Envy. Al was the only one that noticed the homunculi and was quite surprised.

Then Roy poured champagne for everyone except Ed and Al.

Ed protested and got a sip from Roy's glass, but he didn't like it at all. So he didn't ask for anymore.

After everyone went home, Al went up to this room to read. Ed and Roy got dressed for bed. Ed still wasn't feeling too well and just kind of flopped onto the bed.

Roy actually got into the bed and nudged Ed to get in.

Ed slid in and put his face into Roy's chest. "Why didn't you try to stop me from drinking?"

"I tried and you ignored me."

"Remind me to never drink again."

"Got it. I don't like you when you're drunk anyway. You're quite annoying."

"Well fine. I just want to rest tonite…I don't feel like doing anything else…"

"Aww, go ahead and ruin all of the fun because of your stupididty."

"Fine, I will." Ed curled up into a little ball against Roy and fell asleep.

Roy idly pet Ed on the head until he fell asleep.

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10:** Well, there you have it! The next chapter, it's right after Ed's fight with Greed... hopefully you good people know what the outcome was of that... Envy isn't very happy... I'll try to work some comedy somehow, I don't want the Greed fans to be all angsty... By the way... I READ THE 55TH CHAPTER OF FMA THE OTHER DAY AND IT WAS DISAPPOINTING! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! Ok, enough of that... I'm just frustrated that I can only read one new chapter a month of the FMA manga..._


	32. Oh the Sadness

**Oh the Sadness**

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10: **I'm quite happy with myself since I got this chapter up in good time. I'm going to be gone for a week starting on Saturday since I got grounded from the computer for absolutely no reason. This chapter is a little sad if you like Greed, but I added some humor so you weren't killed by the angst. I also got a very mean comment on my artwork from DA on my forum. Just so that everyone knows, I don't like people insulting my work, I like constructive critisizm. If anyone ever does that again, I will insult you into an oblivion... I hate flames and such..._

**Disclaimer (that I didn't put in earlier...oops): I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist... I wish I did, but it would suck...**

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Ed and Al had to do some things in Central and ended up staying there for quite a long time. Roy was very lonely for those few weeks. Ed's SAT scores had even come back and he got a perfect score.

When Ed and Al came back, Ed looked pretty banged up. Al looked like he had just gotten repaired. As soon as Roy saw them, he ran up to Ed and hugged him. "You were gone for so long! What happened to you?"

"We had to go visit our sensei… she likes to beat us up a lot. I also ended up getting into a fight with a homunculus. I broke my automail in the process so Winry came to the hospital I was staying at and fixed it…Al got banged up because he had been kidnapped. I fixed him, though."

"And you didn't call me even once?.! Isn't your sensei in Dublith? That's defiantly not in Central…Which homunculus?"

"We went to Dublith after we were done in Central… I'm quite sorry about not calling you… I fought Greed. I ended up killing him, but he gave me very valuable information on how to defeat homunculi."

"That's just wonderful. I missed you so much!" Roy hugged Ed again.

Ed winched because Roy had touched one of his wounds. "I'd prefer it if you didn't touch me… I hurt all over…"

All of a sudden, Envy ran through the door without opening it. He was extremely angry. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO GREED?.!"

Ed wend wide-eyed and rand away. He didn't feel like getting into anymore fights with homunculi until he was healed.

Envy sprinted after Ed and tackled him. While envy was sitting on Ed's back, he growled, "What did you do to Greed?"

"I-I kind of killed him… I had to…"

Envy punched Ed. "Why did you do that?.!"

"He had killed Dante, an old lady…"

"Old lady? HA! She's ancient! I don't think Greed would've killed her either…"

"You know Dante?" Ed started to struggle out from under Envy.

"Know her?.! I'm only her… I'm not telling you. I'll just say that I'm quite acquainted with her." Envy punched Ed again because he was trying to escape.

Some blood showed up in the corner of Ed's mouth, and Roy was about to get his gloves and fry Envy. "Envy, get out of my house now, or I'll fry you until you're dead." Roy put his hand in his pocket for his gloves.

Envy glared at Roy. "I'm not leaving yet, but I'll let you have Ed back." Envy got off of Ed and sat on the couch.

Roy walked over to Ed. "Are you okay?"

Ed wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth. "Yeah, I'm fine…" Then, he walked up to his bedroom and closed the door.

Al was feeling uncomfortable with Envy around the house right after Ed had killed Greed.

Envy just sat on the couch, arms and legs crossed, and a pissed off look on his face. He had just started to love Greed and Ed just had to kill him and ruin everything.

Roy went upstairs to go see Ed.

Lust, Wrath, Sloth, and Gluttony suddenly came into the house with gangster clothes on.

Lust was looking at a card and started to say, "Yo, dog…Master Dante-fry wants you to…go back to the house of…homies?"

Envy just stared at them. "What the hell?.!"

"Look, just go back to Dante's house, she needs you. She wanted us to try and cheer you up, so she dressed us up like idiots," Sloth said, taking her hat off and throwing it on the ground.

Envy shrugged. "Dante is really the last person I want to see. She really caused the death of Greed, not Ed, but it's always fun to beat up the little bean once in a while."

Wrath went over to Envy and pulled on his arm. "But we have to go! Dante said that we absolutely have to get you or no more Pocky!"

"She really said that?.!" Sloth was a major Pocky addict.

Al just sat in the corner all confused and hope that Sloth wouldn't decided to attack him in some way.

Envy got up and walked out the back door and jumped the fence.

The other homunculi ran out the door after him.

Al still sat in the corner for another five minutes to make sure they were gone.

Ed was having his back and shoulders massaged by Roy.

About half an hour later, Ed was asleep and Roy came downstairs. "Al, when are we having dinner?"

"In about half an hour." Al was just about to start preparing the food.

Roy went into the living room and started to knit black automail socks for Ed. He could never have too many since Roy hated cold metal touching him in the night.

When dinner was made, Roy wnt back up to Ed's room and found Ed tied up with Envy standing next to him with an inflatable hammer. Envy had taken on the appearance of Roy.

Roy just stood in the doorway and stared at Envy.

Ed was confused out of his mind because thee were two Roys standing in front of him.

Roy then took a random eraser that was on the table next to him and threw it at Envy.

"What the hell. Is that the best you could do?"

"I didn't want to break anything…"

"Roy! Which one is the real you?.!" Ed started wailing.

Both Envy and Roy said, "I'm the real Roy!" then, they looked at each other and got Ed even more confused.

"Okay, ummm… I'm going to aks a series of questions that ony the real Roy would know, and I'll decide which one is real."

Roy was quite sure he would win and said, "Sounds easy enough!"

"Okay, first question. What is…Roy's State Alchemist title?"

Envy answered first, "The Flame Alchemist."

"Correct. Okay, now what is his rank?"

Envy answered again, "Colonel."

"Yup. Okay, now…umm…This question will decide it all…What does Roy do every night before we go to bed?"

This time Envy had no clue and the real Roy said, "First, I tell you to put your automail socks on, and then I put my pajamas on. After that, both of us go to bed, and last I hug you with your back against me, start licking your ear, and you always start laughing and yelling at me to stop because you're tired."

"That's only when you have to work the next day. What do we do when you have a day off?"

"I won't get into that in front of Envy…"

Envy just stared, wide-eyed at Roy and Ed.

Ed then said to Roy, "Okay I have decided that you are the real Roy and the one with the inflatable hammer is Envy. Now could someone untie me?"

Roy walked over to Ed, kicking Envy in the shins in the process, and untied Ed.

Ed immediately clapped his hands together and transmuted a bat out of a metal lamp. Then he ran over to Envy and started beating him, causing him to back up into the window. With Ed not aiming where his blows went, the bat went through the window.

Envy ended up falling out of the window, but not without dragging Ed along with him first.

Ed quickly transmuted some hands to come out of the wall to slow him down. He didn't care much about Envy, so he let him fall.

Envy hit the ground on his back and was still in the form of Roy.

Al was sitting by a window near where Envy fell and saw Envy, but thought it was Roy. He quickly ran outside with a first aid kit to see if "Roy" was alright.

Envy changed back to his normal form and got up, rubbing his head. He was then immediately punched by Al who had dropped the first aid kit.

Ed was lying on the ground near-by, moaning in pain.

Roy had run over to the phone and called an ambulance for Ed who had clearly reopened his wounds.

Ed, Ed, and Al had to spend the rest of the day and night at the hospital because it took around three hours of waiting to get anywhere.

Ed ended up okay except for more cuts and bruises. He also was lucky because if he didn't' land on his automail foot, he ankle would have been sprained or broken.

Roy and Al were just happy that no permanent damage was done to Ed from falling from the second story window of the house.

When they got home at five in the morning, Ed and Roy slept for most of the day, and Al just sat round the house, reading.

_**Fullmetal-Alchemist10: **Well I'll see you all in a week, I'll probably have a few chapters written since I have nothing better to do. If I don't come back in a week, it's because I died from computer withdrawl. I just hope I can get out of his writer's block_ -sigh- _it's been quite annoying..._


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